[Chapter] Passenger Seat (6/6)
Words: 1.164 words
“I gaze at you, my shining star
and wonder why you chose me;
this broken little fragment
and brought me into your life
Your light has given me purpose
and mended jagged wounds
In return I give my devotion
It is all I have to give."
- It is the only thing that is not shattered // s.a
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Time passed by weirdly after that. It took a few days and weeks but slowly, Dean came around again. Castiel remembered it as if it was yesterday, feeling that light squeeze or seeing those eyes move for the first time. He knew that it was nothing but a tiny start, but it was something.
It was better than before, when he’d been completely still. Castiel still read to him every day, read until his voice became raspy and dry. He drank more water than he usually did, and teas. Even stopped with his cigarettes even if it was just for a little while. He smoked less, which was a start. Sam and Jessica stuck around for most of it, but eventually had to get back. Castiel promised them that he would call them the second that he woke up.
After three weeks, the doctors deemed him stable enough to completely get off any extra oxygen in amounts that were major. Even though he was still unconscious, he was functioning without any support. According to the doctors, he would either wake up or not wake up at all at this point. It was all a waiting game and slowly, Castiel was getting so sick of it.
“Hey Dean,” he sighed from the chair next to Dean’s bed, the one that had slowly become his own. "I'm sorry I didn’t come by yesterday - I had work. Yeah, you heard me. I got an actual job now.” He was smiling. Yesterday had been his first day at the library and even though he knew that it would get boring one day, he absolutely loved it. “I recommended the one book that I started reading to a woman today. She seemed to be glad. You’re passing on your legacy Dean.” He sighed. “It’s actually fun in a library. A lot of hauling back and forth of books, getting them out of the archive downstairs for college students. I was this close to sneaking a few dollars for a coffee into a copy of a critique on Jane Eyre. I pitied the girl. Not that I did end up doing that, you know that I wouldn’t keep my job for long if I did that, but I do hope she’ll look a little bit more relaxed when she comes to bring it back.” He had Dean’s fingers threaded in his, a lot more comfortable with doing it now.
With Sam and Jessica there, it had been different. Jessica hadn’t told Sam about his little crush on his brother, or at least, he didn’t think that she did. He hoped so at least. It wasn’t that he really minded. What he felt for Dean was something that he didn’t think he could ever say out loud, even if he would ever have the possibility to.
“I think that you’ll love the library though. It’s nice and calm. Books everywhere. They have two whole shelves dedicated to horror classics and just classics in general. So yeah, when you get back, I’m going to bring you along, how about that huh?” He smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to his fingers. “Hey, I’m going to meet with your doctors, no running off okay? I’ve been to patient for too long now to see you run away with a nurse okay.” He couldn’t help but grin. “I know, I’m being silly. The doctor is waiting though, so I should go.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Dean’s head, surprised when the eyes opened and Dean was staring up at him.
He was hesitant. Dean had done this before, once and he had closed them again in a minute. The last thing he wanted to go was get his hopes up and get them shattered again.
“Dean?”
“Cas?” Dean’s voice sounded hoarse and wrong, but it was him. “Where? What?”
“Don’t move, don’t speak. I’m going to get a nurse okay.”
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Dean’s hospital room was soon turned into doctor central as they checked him over for what seemed to be forever. He stepped out of the room, wanting to give them the privacy that they deserved for the tests. He needed to call Sam, to let him know that his brother was alive and thriving, to show him that he was good again. Or at least, that waswhat he hoped.
Time would tell and maybe he should wait a little bit before calling, make sure that Dean was indeed back one hundred percent. So he waited. He waited until the doctor came back with the news that Dean seemed to be alright, considering everything. He was showing signs of being okay again. He was conscious and breathing on his own, his heartbeat and pulse was nice and strong. It was okay.
Dean was siting up in his bed, thoroughly annoyed at all the nurses swarming around him as they prodded him and asked him questions. The doctor had assured him that it was fine to come in though, that Dean had asked to.
“I thought you didn’t mind nurses. How are you Dean?”
“I somebody asks me that question one more time I am going to throw a fit,” he snapped. “I have no idea how I got here and what even happened.” So cas told him what he knew. It wasn’t a lot, but he told him anyway. Dean remembered everything until getting in a cab, so he supplied what happened after. At the mention of his brother visiting, he frowned.
“Sam came?”
“He was worried. Jessica came along. She’s a sweetheart, real kind. She’s good for him.”
“I’m glad.” He sighed. “I just slept for weeks but I am tired.”
“Then go to sleep. I can go if you want.” Castiel didn’t want to go, he wanted to stay, but if Dean wanted this, he would go. It wasn’t like it was that big of a deal. He could come back.
“Stay? Please.” He bit is lip. “Look Cas, sometimes, I heard you.” He shook his head. “And I know man. I know. I’ve been an idiot.”
“You are,” Castiel agreed. “But you had your reasons. Go to sleep Dean.” Only when Dean had drifted off, his hand clasped in Castiel’s. “You’re going to be okay Dean. Everything is going to be okay.” For the first time in a while, Castiel actually believed it. Knew that he’d be on that passenger seat again, not driving because Dean had his baby. He knew that things would be okay.
Not tomorrow no and not soon, but Dean would be home again, his keys would be back with Castiel’s. He’d have his Dean back.