In Parts - Supernatural
Title: In Parts
Author: youaredriving aka Scarletsptember
Fandom, Characters: Supernatural; Sam, OC
Rating: PG
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing off the bookshelf
Summary: Sam sees a therapist. How he sees himself isn't how the rest of the world does.
“When you look in that mirror,” An elegant hand pointed to the black framed mirror before settling on top of a notebook and curling around a pen. “What do you see Sam?”
Sam licked his lips and looked everywhere but the mirror. He didn’t have to look at the mirror to tell Dr. Delling what he saw. He knew what would be looking back at him with ink black eyes and a vile grin.
“I see a monster.” Sam closed his eyes and took slow and deliberate breaths. Coming here and talking to such a stoic woman caused more harm to him than good. At least that how it felt.
“You didn’t even look at the mirror, Sam.” She tapped her pen against the notepad and shifted in her seat.
“I didn’t need to,” Sam whispered. He knew what would be looking back at him. He could feel every wrong his had done deep in his chest. A fist wrapped around his heart and clenched tighter with every breath he took. When he slept nightmares whispered of the sins he’d never be forgiven for. He didn’t need to look in the mirror to see what he had become. He was reminded of it with every breath he took.
She gave an impatient huff before she grabbed the mirror from his hands and held it up directly in front of Sam. “I would like you to tell me what you see. Start with the color of your hair.”
Sam took a deep breath and looked at himself. He ignored the charcoal eyes glinted with yellow that were staring back at him. He looked to the top of his head. Today his hair was a little oily, but not enough to really be noticed by anyone else but himself. It was also a mess. Strands tangled together under the pressure of his fingers running rampant with nerves as he tugged at his hair. “I see brown hair.”
“No you don’t,” She growled in frustration before she leaned closer towards him. “You didn’t even think about the color of your hair in those few moments. What do you see Sam?”
Sam’s finger tips dug into the sofa arms and his breathing had gotten louder. Dr. Delling was pushing every button today, getting right underneath his skin. “You want to know what I see? I see someone who doesn’t give two shits about life to wash his hair. I see someone who can’t think. I see a fucking mess.”
Her spine straightened and she gave a soft smile, “And your eyes. What’s there Sam?”
Sam gave a ragged sigh before he ran his fingers over his eyes and into his hair. He could feel the sting of frustration pricking at his eyes, threatening to turn into tears. “All is can see is black. Black and yellow.”
“And that upsets you,” Her statement sounded more like a question but they both took it for what it was. The truth. It did upset him. It made him so angry that he couldn’t do anything to stop the evil from seeping out of his soul. He couldn’t do anything to fix or change it. He was evil.
“It’s wrong.”
Her head shot up and blue eyes narrowed as she tried to decipher his words. “It isn’t wrong, Sam.”
He gave a soulless laugh, “I’m a monster. I have been one since I was six months old. I feel it gnawing at my bones. I can’t keep fighting this. I’m going to lose and when I do?” Sam cut himself off and buried his face in his heads.
“When you do?” She prompted and patiently waited for Sam to continue.
“When I lose, when I finally give in, I’m going to be the hunted instead of being the hunter.”
Author: youaredriving aka Scarletsptember
Fandom, Characters: Supernatural; Sam, OC
Rating: PG
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing off the bookshelf
Summary: Sam sees a therapist. How he sees himself isn't how the rest of the world does.
“When you look in that mirror,” An elegant hand pointed to the black framed mirror before settling on top of a notebook and curling around a pen. “What do you see Sam?”
Sam licked his lips and looked everywhere but the mirror. He didn’t have to look at the mirror to tell Dr. Delling what he saw. He knew what would be looking back at him with ink black eyes and a vile grin.
“I see a monster.” Sam closed his eyes and took slow and deliberate breaths. Coming here and talking to such a stoic woman caused more harm to him than good. At least that how it felt.
“You didn’t even look at the mirror, Sam.” She tapped her pen against the notepad and shifted in her seat.
“I didn’t need to,” Sam whispered. He knew what would be looking back at him. He could feel every wrong his had done deep in his chest. A fist wrapped around his heart and clenched tighter with every breath he took. When he slept nightmares whispered of the sins he’d never be forgiven for. He didn’t need to look in the mirror to see what he had become. He was reminded of it with every breath he took.
She gave an impatient huff before she grabbed the mirror from his hands and held it up directly in front of Sam. “I would like you to tell me what you see. Start with the color of your hair.”
Sam took a deep breath and looked at himself. He ignored the charcoal eyes glinted with yellow that were staring back at him. He looked to the top of his head. Today his hair was a little oily, but not enough to really be noticed by anyone else but himself. It was also a mess. Strands tangled together under the pressure of his fingers running rampant with nerves as he tugged at his hair. “I see brown hair.”
“No you don’t,” She growled in frustration before she leaned closer towards him. “You didn’t even think about the color of your hair in those few moments. What do you see Sam?”
Sam’s finger tips dug into the sofa arms and his breathing had gotten louder. Dr. Delling was pushing every button today, getting right underneath his skin. “You want to know what I see? I see someone who doesn’t give two shits about life to wash his hair. I see someone who can’t think. I see a fucking mess.”
Her spine straightened and she gave a soft smile, “And your eyes. What’s there Sam?”
Sam gave a ragged sigh before he ran his fingers over his eyes and into his hair. He could feel the sting of frustration pricking at his eyes, threatening to turn into tears. “All is can see is black. Black and yellow.”
“And that upsets you,” Her statement sounded more like a question but they both took it for what it was. The truth. It did upset him. It made him so angry that he couldn’t do anything to stop the evil from seeping out of his soul. He couldn’t do anything to fix or change it. He was evil.
“It’s wrong.”
Her head shot up and blue eyes narrowed as she tried to decipher his words. “It isn’t wrong, Sam.”
He gave a soulless laugh, “I’m a monster. I have been one since I was six months old. I feel it gnawing at my bones. I can’t keep fighting this. I’m going to lose and when I do?” Sam cut himself off and buried his face in his heads.
“When you do?” She prompted and patiently waited for Sam to continue.
“When I lose, when I finally give in, I’m going to be the hunted instead of being the hunter.”