hearts of fragile bone

[youandiboth]

Tucked away neatly, after a marvelous afternoon, my sanity is tired and wishes to sit quiet in the corner as an evening version of me emerges from the sharp shadows etched in the ground from the neon november moon. yes, november to me is neon. a year ago i hated this month, and im not sure if im here to change my mind or if im really here to state that everything's changed but the ghosts remain the same. theyre by my legs when i wake in the night and some sing me back to sleep. others i can feel staring at the breath leaving my lips, cold and cutting. they visit almost nightly and its almost addicting...in a strange dream-like way. -they're for the most part harmless, these separate haunting stories from days better left covered in dust, but i need to keep reminding myself to smile, to laugh... because if the sun were out right now, i'd politely ask it to melt this snowball that i've built. it's ice and cold snow and its far too large for me to carry, even with the help of an eskimo. a problem thats better left on the side of the road somewhere out here... left to decompose and sink into the earth... around a bend that ill never come around again- but ill have to wait til morning. for now ill be awake and racing around, trying to mark today 'complete' in some way... the one act that defines me as crazy

I keep on trying, but I know it's never complete

because if someday it is, there's no tomorrow.

and that's something I live for. these ghosts and their broken bones keep me awake.