(no subject)

[you_without_me]

so i slept for two hours last night, woke up and did not enjoy how i felt in the slightest. really didn't want to be alone. but, as it often goes, had no option of any way out. i called my brother, no answer. my sister answered though. my stepmom had a seizure yesterday. they think from stress. i didn't know you get could full on big grand seizure's from stress. i think i might have one soon. i felt like my head was going to explode last night. litterally. i could feel every beat of my pulse hammering in my head.

i'm starting to be more afraid to sleep than to be awake. i keep having nightmares. and waking up with my heart racing and shaking all over.

maybe if i pray harder. if i cry a just a little more. that you'll come back just once to say good bye.

its how everything seems to work.