(no subject)
i don't know. man, all i want to do is fucking write and paint and you knwo what, i'm real good, fuck you. yeaaaaaaaa i can paint women's asses and write about rapes and feel inspired to do great things and never do half of them. And I can see that and make it and finish it. it's true. And all I want to do is know it's real. man, what's real? seriously, all I need is a connection. And all I need are my words and my brushes and my thoughts and I feel like I'm here for a reason. I contribute. It's real and I connect with that. I'm whole and I'm real and I see it all in slow motion. And I take the steps to change the outside because I know I'm capable of these things, but I hold back from making a connection. I just want to capture it all, everything. The energy and the excitement and the pain and mystery. I'll make it happen- it's in the air.