Feel I'm going back to Massachusetts...
Home sweet home. I successfully made it back to Massachusetts Monday morning (midnight) after what turned into a 4-day, 3-night trip back from Key West. Took my time coming home, making stops in St. Augustine, Myrtle Beach and did some backroads through the country. I was definitely driving through the land of sweet tea. I only had to call AAA once, which is good considering how many times my car was in the shop during the past couple of months. I had a huge antifreeze leak and needed to have a hose replaced. But the important thing is that I made it back in one piece.
So now that I'm back here, I really have no idea what I'm going to do. This week I'm just going to take it easy...hang out with friends, be-bop around town, hang out at the yacht club and with my frat brothers. Speaking of BYC...I went there today to see if I still had somewhat of a job there and things look pretty good. Everyone wants me back and ironically I was never officially terminated so I'm still on the payroll. Joe just said that he has to talk to a couple people and we're going to have to be "creative" in terms of what I want to do there. If I get to work there, perfect. If I don't, it's not the end of the world. But I'm pulling for it. Today I also got to go out sailing with a couple BYC members (including the Commodore) so that was a good little welcome home present. I'm just going to live day to day here and in time I believe that something good will happen. But goddamn, it feels good to be back.
Now, it's reflection time. Time to write about Key West and what I got out of the 9 and a half months that I was there.
1) Independence. While in Key West, I was essentially all by myself. Yes, I may have lived with family friends for the first 4 months, but I had to do everything on my own. For the first time in my life I was required to pay rent and keep a closer eye on managing my funds - which I would say was a very successful thing. I did many things by myself. I took myself out to dinner and lunch, went to the movies by myself, went to a concert by myself and even went on a couple weekend excursions by myself. Before I left for Key West I would have said that I was a pretty independent person, but I would have never imagined doing everything I did down there. It's good to not be dependent on other people. I learned that I can get a lot accomplished if I don't have to rely on other people. I can remember a time in college where I didn't even like to go to the dining hall alone. My, how things have changed.
2) Lonliness. To completely counter the independence thing, there's the lonliness factor. While I may have been surprisingly independent, many times I felt completely alone. I found it hard to be separated from my friends and family with the phone being the only real outlet to back home. And I hate the phone. I always have and I always will. Maybe I wasn't as good as I should have been about staying in touch with people back home, but I tried. Yes, I did make friends down in Key West. I met some really cool people, but since everyone is so disposible and people come and go all the time, it's hard sometimes. There were many nights where I was just completely unhappy and wondered what the hell I was doing down there and missing home like crazy. It just goes to show that sometimes you can be completely surrounded by people and still feel alone.
3) People and Lifestyles. I met some awesome people from all over the world, with many different personalities and different stories. That was something I really enjoyed. And if I can say that I walked out of Key West with a handful of friends, then I consider that an accomplishment. Now it's time to play the "keep in touch" game and see what happens. Unfortunately, it turned out that me and my roommate left on bad terms. She gave me an earful right before I left and I would never wish my worst enemy the wrath that I felt from her that day. But maybe someday when she realizes that she's not the only person in the world, we can all co-exist together peacefully. But I don't see that happening. Oh well. And I really enjoyed the whole Key West atmosphere for the first few months. Non-stop partying, "perfect" weather, small town where everyone knew each other. But after a while it starts to wear on you. I learned that the Key West lifestyle is not for me. My liver is thankful that I left. But I'm glad that I gave it a try, because if I had stayed in Wareham the whole time I would have been longing for something bigger. I came, I saw, I conquered. Somewhat.
4) Work. I can honestly say that I learned a lot when it came to working in a restaurant. If I ever become a manager of someplace someday, I learned ways I want to manage and ways I don't want to manage. I have certain managers that I would love to emulate and some managers that I wouldn't. But I guess you see that everywhere. I had never worked in a real restaurant before this year. Though I did my share of waitressing and bartending, it was in a yacht club atmosphere and I never had to deal with people tipping and money transactions in general. Working at Red Fish was great when we had the original cast and crew there. I had so much fun going into work everyday. But as time went on, turnover continued to be high and work became "work", it lost its thrill and I seriously started to hate it. Everytime I hear "Walking In Memphis", I'm going to think of "Put on my Shoes For Crews....Workin' at Red Fish." Ha. Fish Bitch. Jack Flats was awesome all the way though. I absolutely loved working there, and I'm going to miss that place. I'm very grateful that I got the opportunity to bartend there. And I'm very grateful that I was given the chance to do some expiditing and working in the kitchen at Red Fish. I will take everything I learned and use it later in life...whatever I end up doing.
5) Myself. I'm a nice person. At least I would like to think I am. But sometimes nice gets you in trouble. And I think that's partly the reason why me and Joana aren't friends anymore. There's only so much you can do for other people before you start realizing that while you're helping out others, you're neglecting to take care of yourself. That needs to stop. I have to learn to say "no" sometimes. And I also need to learn to stick up for myself. I don't like confrontations. I am a girl of many thoughts but more importantly, I am a girl of many after-thoughts...always thinking about what I should have said or done. But being nice has it's advantages too, of course. A lot of people have said it took balls to do what I did...to just decide that I didn't want to be there anymore, quit my job and just leave. I guess that it a little ballsy. But when I make up my mind, it's made up and that's it. I might have felt a little "cognitive disonance" but overall, I am happy with my decision.
Key West is a fabulous, fabulous place. Besides my roommate (or ex-roommate, I can say now) I leave with no hard feelings or bad tastes in my mouth. I needed to go there to see what else the world had to offer for me. And I will be forever grateful that I got the chance to go down there and see a new side of life. To everyone that I met along the way....thank you. I'll go back and visit, I know that I will. But I am a New Englander at heart. So goodbye to Publix and Waffle House. Hello Stop 'N Shop and Friendlys. Goodbye to the hot weather. I'll be bundling up for winter soon. Goodbye to Duval Street. If I'm going to party, I'll be making the trip to Boston. No more "Ya'll got any sweet tea?" I'm more in the mood for some wicked hardcore Boston accents.
A wise man named Billy Joel once posed the question, "When will you realize Vienna waits for you?" I know it's out there. I'll get there someday.
So now that I'm back here, I really have no idea what I'm going to do. This week I'm just going to take it easy...hang out with friends, be-bop around town, hang out at the yacht club and with my frat brothers. Speaking of BYC...I went there today to see if I still had somewhat of a job there and things look pretty good. Everyone wants me back and ironically I was never officially terminated so I'm still on the payroll. Joe just said that he has to talk to a couple people and we're going to have to be "creative" in terms of what I want to do there. If I get to work there, perfect. If I don't, it's not the end of the world. But I'm pulling for it. Today I also got to go out sailing with a couple BYC members (including the Commodore) so that was a good little welcome home present. I'm just going to live day to day here and in time I believe that something good will happen. But goddamn, it feels good to be back.
Now, it's reflection time. Time to write about Key West and what I got out of the 9 and a half months that I was there.
1) Independence. While in Key West, I was essentially all by myself. Yes, I may have lived with family friends for the first 4 months, but I had to do everything on my own. For the first time in my life I was required to pay rent and keep a closer eye on managing my funds - which I would say was a very successful thing. I did many things by myself. I took myself out to dinner and lunch, went to the movies by myself, went to a concert by myself and even went on a couple weekend excursions by myself. Before I left for Key West I would have said that I was a pretty independent person, but I would have never imagined doing everything I did down there. It's good to not be dependent on other people. I learned that I can get a lot accomplished if I don't have to rely on other people. I can remember a time in college where I didn't even like to go to the dining hall alone. My, how things have changed.
2) Lonliness. To completely counter the independence thing, there's the lonliness factor. While I may have been surprisingly independent, many times I felt completely alone. I found it hard to be separated from my friends and family with the phone being the only real outlet to back home. And I hate the phone. I always have and I always will. Maybe I wasn't as good as I should have been about staying in touch with people back home, but I tried. Yes, I did make friends down in Key West. I met some really cool people, but since everyone is so disposible and people come and go all the time, it's hard sometimes. There were many nights where I was just completely unhappy and wondered what the hell I was doing down there and missing home like crazy. It just goes to show that sometimes you can be completely surrounded by people and still feel alone.
3) People and Lifestyles. I met some awesome people from all over the world, with many different personalities and different stories. That was something I really enjoyed. And if I can say that I walked out of Key West with a handful of friends, then I consider that an accomplishment. Now it's time to play the "keep in touch" game and see what happens. Unfortunately, it turned out that me and my roommate left on bad terms. She gave me an earful right before I left and I would never wish my worst enemy the wrath that I felt from her that day. But maybe someday when she realizes that she's not the only person in the world, we can all co-exist together peacefully. But I don't see that happening. Oh well. And I really enjoyed the whole Key West atmosphere for the first few months. Non-stop partying, "perfect" weather, small town where everyone knew each other. But after a while it starts to wear on you. I learned that the Key West lifestyle is not for me. My liver is thankful that I left. But I'm glad that I gave it a try, because if I had stayed in Wareham the whole time I would have been longing for something bigger. I came, I saw, I conquered. Somewhat.
4) Work. I can honestly say that I learned a lot when it came to working in a restaurant. If I ever become a manager of someplace someday, I learned ways I want to manage and ways I don't want to manage. I have certain managers that I would love to emulate and some managers that I wouldn't. But I guess you see that everywhere. I had never worked in a real restaurant before this year. Though I did my share of waitressing and bartending, it was in a yacht club atmosphere and I never had to deal with people tipping and money transactions in general. Working at Red Fish was great when we had the original cast and crew there. I had so much fun going into work everyday. But as time went on, turnover continued to be high and work became "work", it lost its thrill and I seriously started to hate it. Everytime I hear "Walking In Memphis", I'm going to think of "Put on my Shoes For Crews....Workin' at Red Fish." Ha. Fish Bitch. Jack Flats was awesome all the way though. I absolutely loved working there, and I'm going to miss that place. I'm very grateful that I got the opportunity to bartend there. And I'm very grateful that I was given the chance to do some expiditing and working in the kitchen at Red Fish. I will take everything I learned and use it later in life...whatever I end up doing.
5) Myself. I'm a nice person. At least I would like to think I am. But sometimes nice gets you in trouble. And I think that's partly the reason why me and Joana aren't friends anymore. There's only so much you can do for other people before you start realizing that while you're helping out others, you're neglecting to take care of yourself. That needs to stop. I have to learn to say "no" sometimes. And I also need to learn to stick up for myself. I don't like confrontations. I am a girl of many thoughts but more importantly, I am a girl of many after-thoughts...always thinking about what I should have said or done. But being nice has it's advantages too, of course. A lot of people have said it took balls to do what I did...to just decide that I didn't want to be there anymore, quit my job and just leave. I guess that it a little ballsy. But when I make up my mind, it's made up and that's it. I might have felt a little "cognitive disonance" but overall, I am happy with my decision.
Key West is a fabulous, fabulous place. Besides my roommate (or ex-roommate, I can say now) I leave with no hard feelings or bad tastes in my mouth. I needed to go there to see what else the world had to offer for me. And I will be forever grateful that I got the chance to go down there and see a new side of life. To everyone that I met along the way....thank you. I'll go back and visit, I know that I will. But I am a New Englander at heart. So goodbye to Publix and Waffle House. Hello Stop 'N Shop and Friendlys. Goodbye to the hot weather. I'll be bundling up for winter soon. Goodbye to Duval Street. If I'm going to party, I'll be making the trip to Boston. No more "Ya'll got any sweet tea?" I'm more in the mood for some wicked hardcore Boston accents.
A wise man named Billy Joel once posed the question, "When will you realize Vienna waits for you?" I know it's out there. I'll get there someday.