(no subject)

[you_love_mikey]

so lately...i have been in like a shock type thing..i cant believe it happened..but im actually ok..i cry every once in a while when ppl r like omg r u ok and it will be ok...i mean i know they r tryin to be nice and sympothetic** but thats what makes me cry..but thank you all for bein there for me...esp toby..thank you a million for listenin to me..no one in my family is really ok..like my aunt has to be medicated like every 2 hours cuz she is literally goin crazy..then my uncle is in a shock type state..he just keeps sayin " he killed my boy "...it scares me my sis and bro r ok only b/c i dont think they realize what is really goin on...my dad is actin ok but i can tell when they talk about paul he just wants to break down and cry..i wish he owuld ..it would make him feel better....right jeremey..lol..but as for me..im holdin up ok..i went to my dads football practice and all of the guys came and gave me hugs and i was ok at first but then i just went into histarics** i couldnt help it..i couldnt stop..i mean its so unreal..he was just with us a week ago..its like one bad dream that i cant wake up from..
but in other news...every thing is ok..im not goin back to school til after christmas..and im not gettin absenses either..cuz im so good !! and im not goin to work until next tuesday..i just need a break..so i can deal..uhh im not gonna hang out with any one until next weekend..the one after next..im goin to tobys show..both of them...then me and shea r gonna do some thing with mike and toby..just us 4..it should be fun..well i have to go...its been a long day and i have another oe comin..<33