(no subject)
So I got a job finally, which means I will not be moving back to Colorado, which is good because I don't think I am ready to see or be around Trevor just yet. I know things would've ended up bad again, I kinda have a grasp on my life right now, and I feel as if I'm more in control of situations, but I know that seeing him would bring all those feelings back and all this time of being strong and working on me, would've been pointless. I am a little saddened that I will not be seeing my friends soon, but I feel closer to them now than when I was out there, sometimes things really do happen for a reason..
I have never been so crushed by someone before, I guess this was like the only time I felt like putting effort into something and it totally blew up in my face, I guess that's life though, you win some, you lose some. It's been 3 months and it still stings a little, not nearly as much as it did in the beginning, but today, for example, I found my memory card and put it in my camera and there was old pics of us, and I had a hard time deleting them, it brought back questions like "where did we go wrong?"...etc. I know he wasn't good for me, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love him to death...Either way, staying in California will definitely make the healing process a lot better..
I have never been so crushed by someone before, I guess this was like the only time I felt like putting effort into something and it totally blew up in my face, I guess that's life though, you win some, you lose some. It's been 3 months and it still stings a little, not nearly as much as it did in the beginning, but today, for example, I found my memory card and put it in my camera and there was old pics of us, and I had a hard time deleting them, it brought back questions like "where did we go wrong?"...etc. I know he wasn't good for me, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love him to death...Either way, staying in California will definitely make the healing process a lot better..