(no subject)

[yosoyturd]

I'm sick of people averting their eyes. Sometimes I get wicked bored and lonely when I'm riding around working and I just end up looking up at everyone I pass by and pretty much all of them make eye contact and then just avert their eyes really quickly. What has the world come to when two people can't share a quick glance that doesn't end with one person freaking out or something. It's weird, I feel like I used to always be the person who would look away, it was sad, and sometimes I would kind of obsess about it. Now it seems to be the other way around and they are looking away. It's even more frustrating. Are you scared of me? am I intimidating? do I just suck a lot? Is everyone maybe just scared of everyone else??????? I hate focusing in on tiny interactions, but I've been doing it lately and it drives me fucking MAD. Sometimes a stupid little interaction like that will just push me over the edge. I felt miserable at work today. I was so slow. Sometimes when I feel like that, I literally think there is something wrong with my bike because it feels so hard to ride, but usually it's just because I stayed up a little too late eating cookies or something. Everything feels flimsy. ooooh, at least I just remembered I have a party to go to this weekend. yay, parties. goddamn it. I haven't enjoyed a party in a while.

I must stop this paranoia
and all my sarcastic sarcasm (you know what I mean)
it used to be funny to be fake.
then it was funny to fake being fake.
now it's just sooooooo tired.

this is weird. I..... am weird.