(no subject)

I'm having one of those days where I'm really frustrated and I just need to vent. I haven't been on livejournal in at least 6 months but I feel like there's no other place for this. My problems are stupid in comparison to my friends' problems so I don't want to bother anyone in particular, I'm just angry.
I'm going to a conference for work at the end of April, and frankly, I don't even want to go. It's in Santa Clara at a convention center I've been to, that's super shitty, for one, and for two I have a fuck load of things to do and I don't need unnecessary crappy trips in my life right now. I'd find another associate to go but I'm presenting, and I don't know if there's someone on a lower level then me that can present in my place.
So here's why I'm extra pissed off today. They took two weeks to approve my travel expenses, and did not make it clear I have to book my own hotel. So I went to book and now the convention hotel is booked out, which is shitty but I thought, that's ok, I'll just book the hotel across the street that's twice as expensive.
THEN I found out there's a super low cap on how much my work will reimburse, which means I'll be paying for this shit out of pocket. I ended up booking the last conference hotel, but now I need to rent a car, plus I have to do more homework to be sure 'a taxi isn't cheaper' because my work is red-tape hell (another reason I don't want to go). The hotel I want doesn't have a waiting list, which means I just have to keep checking the goddamn website to see if someone cancels.
I'm already really stressed about other shit in my life so these little drops in my full bucket do not help, and now I'm on the verge of crying. Oh and my period's starting today I'm sure that doesn't help. And I'm trying to schedule this fucking meeting but one of my managers thinks she's super important and has to be there and even though this is a little thing it's just pissing me off.
The person I would normally vent to at work has been pissy at me for months, and was pissy just now when I went to talk to her so I didn't even try. The combination of everything together is killing me.
I think I'd be fine if I had my friend to talk to, but I don't know how to fix things with her. She's told me a few times now that I'm passive agressive. I don't even know what I'm doing that she thinks is passive agressive.
I think I've mentioned it here before but I have this thing I call Rejection Syndrome, which I know now is social anxiety. So her attitude is killing me because I feel like she's treating me different then everyone else, like she doesn't want to talk to me, hang out with me, or do any of the things we've always done. And I know I just have to ignore it and pretend like nothing's wrong ... But it's killing me. I don't have anyone else I'm that close to here at work. I don't know how to apologize when I haven't done anything wrong, and I don't know how to call her out on it when she hasn't done or said anything explicitly that I can point out. As far as I know it's all in my head. It's all just tone and lack of eye contact and all these little things.
Uh so back to fucking conference. Most people would love to go to these conferences. My dick coworker I'm going with booked his hotel a month ago (he knew more than me?!) so he's happy. I feel like shit. I want someone else to go in my place. Fuck it.
I really just want to be sick and go home but today's a very relaxed day, two levels of my bosses are gone and I have no meetings, so I should just sit in my cubical and cry rather than using up my sick time.