The Victim

Oct 25, 2015 20:16

So... I just went through my first relationship. 4 months... a new record for me... the previous was 5 weeks.

All my dates - first date, second date, even the 5 week guy... they ended well. Either the guy was not part of my life before, and was no longer a part of my life after. Or like many of them, we came out as friends.

This 4 month relationship? Could have ended that way. Maybe?? Probably not. The guy turned out to be an asshole.

Not why I broke up with him. I just stopped liking him. He did things that made me like him at first, but over time he failed to impress me. He did and said things that made me think less of him instead of more. So I just stopped caring about him.

Now, I told myself I was going to try harder this time. That losing some feeling is normal, and that I should keep trying to date him. But then we had our first fight.... and I was done.

He turned out to be really immature. I couldn't have a discussion with him. He told me he wanted open communication, but if I didn't say things 'nicely enough' then I was mean and beating him up.

If I complained about the food at a restaurant, that hurt his feelings. (And hurting his feelings = beating him up. He literally told me multiple times I was beating him up.) If I complained about anything, even if it was obviously not his fault, he'd be like, "That's not my fault!" like I was blaming him for it when nothing in my text indicated I did. Instead of sympathizing with me, trying to make me feel better, or helping me with my problems, he acted like I was attacking him with them.

Even now, he's going around telling people that we broke up 'because I was stressed and took it out on him'.

Like I did anything to him.

But yes, in his world, me complaining, not being absolutely positive about every fucking thing, was somehow me attacking him.

The thing is... I'm over him. I'm fine with not being his friend. We weren't close before, and it's obvious to me now why - we have nothing in common. (At one point in the relationship, he was like, "We have so much in common!" and I was like "....?" cause I didn't really see anything. Yes, we both like anime, but not the same anime. He plays a lot of video games - I play a few, but he doesn't even consider Phoenix Wright a real video game, so we might as well not even pretend to have that in common. He likes drinking and partying and bbq ... he's never traveled...he doesn't do cosplay...he doesn't go to any of the same conventions, except AX, and what he does normally and what I always do are completely different... basically, because we were both 'nerds' we had so much in fucking common.)

But what's killing me is... how much I keep thinking about it. I'm so angry at him. I'm so angry that he thinks I attacked him, when all I did was be honest about my feelings, in what I thought was a nice way. I'm angry because I know he's going around telling all our mutual friends how 'mean I was to him' - how do I know? Cause he did this to his last girlfriend. He told us all "she was so mean to me". We were having our 2nd (of two) fight, and he told me I was 'so mean'. And that's when it hit me... poor Linda, his ex... I don't know what she said to him, but I know he took it all the wrong way, amplified everything by a hundred, and then told everyone how mean she was to him.

But we didn't know her, so we took his side of the story at face value.

Errr anyway... I just want to stop thinking about it, but I can't. I keep thinking about it and it makes me so angry and stressed, and I have so many other things to worry about, why do I have to keep worrying about this thing that no longer matters? I want to stop thinking about it, to stop caring.
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