Honk
I was listening to the radio a few days ago, and they started playing stuff from around the mid to late 90's for some reason or another. It kinda made me want to dig through my some what dismal and limited CD collection and take a listen just for old time's sake. You gotta remember that this was before MP3s had really taken off, so a lot of the stuff was still on CD and that. After all, can you remember what you were up to when this or this were big and getting blasted out of the radio every night? No? Lucky you.
I was trying to think back to what I was doing around '98, '99 and it dawned on me that I really couldn't find any memories of around then, or, rather, any pleasent memories. I think for me, life really went south from about 1998 - 2000.
For a long time I reckon I've been trying to avoid bringing up memories of around that time, though I guess I should get over it sooner or later, so now would be a good a time as any.
When I was just a kid straight out of primary school and moving into high school, I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what you had to do to fit in with the crowd. So it did seem kind of odd that, around that time, the more I tried, the more of an outcast I became. At it's lowest point, I found myself in a situation where I could count the number of friends that I had on one hand, and those people I wouldn't trust any further than I could throw them.
And of course, kids being kids, when you were a loser you are an easy target to be picked on. I guess, in all fairness, it wasn't quite as bad as it could have been. That's not to say I woke up each morning looking forward to a brand new day, either. Though I suppose, in a way, I brought it on myself for being so stupid and naive.
I think spent a majority of my time trying to do things to help me avoid and forget about other people. Y'know, keeping my head buried in the textbooks, playing video games to procrastinate from said textbooks, that kind of thing. Pretty standard anti-social geek doings, really. When it gets like that, all you really want is to be left alone. It felt like you fell into a ditch and there was no way out no matter how hard you struggled. You were doing everything right as far as you could tell, but nothing was working.
I'd say, looking back now with the benefit of a little hindsight, that the reason I failed so miserably at life back then is because I just didn't understand that people change. What works when you're just a kid doesn't necessarily work when you're a teenager. If you want to hang out with the big kids, you have to know how to be a big kid.
So that brings me to now, and I suppose I'm kind of desperately trying to become an adult so I don't get left behind again, knowing full well that although it might not be as harsh as high school, it's still something worth avoiding. Ah, insecurities. You can try to hide it but sooner or later it'll show.
You know, it's funny, I get a sense of déjà vu that I've rambled about this on several occasions before. Wouldn't be surprised. If I have, it probably means I still haven't found peace with it yet. I guess I'll keep looking.
Oh, but do check out those musics. They're good for a listen at least. :3
lol, Africa
Yeah, finished it at last. Looks kind of boring now that I've stared at it for so long. I posted it on the message board and the feedback I got was all pretty positive. I dunno, maybe they're all just taken in by the implied lesbian undertones. Anyway, I think I'll have to add a bit more action, or at least change the angle next time around to make it less dull one way or another.
Only one more week to go though~ Ooooone moooooore weeeeeek~~~! :3 And then there will be much shouting and applauding from the kitchen. ...Or something. Whatever, in a week it's not going to matter. Chugga chugga choo choo~
And on a totally unrelated note, Weird Al + Bill Plympton = win.
Oh, and I almost forgot but thought this was worth a mention: My good buddy Jay has gone ahead with his grand plans and registered http://www.mooglepirates.com/ as a domain. What a peanut. Now all we need is some content for it. He's thinking of putting up pictures of Moogles dressed in pirate outfits but I'd reckon a site like that would be just as good if it were dedicated to displaying how much of a peanut he is. That's something I could pitch to him the next time I see him, I guess.
I was trying to think back to what I was doing around '98, '99 and it dawned on me that I really couldn't find any memories of around then, or, rather, any pleasent memories. I think for me, life really went south from about 1998 - 2000.
For a long time I reckon I've been trying to avoid bringing up memories of around that time, though I guess I should get over it sooner or later, so now would be a good a time as any.
When I was just a kid straight out of primary school and moving into high school, I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what you had to do to fit in with the crowd. So it did seem kind of odd that, around that time, the more I tried, the more of an outcast I became. At it's lowest point, I found myself in a situation where I could count the number of friends that I had on one hand, and those people I wouldn't trust any further than I could throw them.
And of course, kids being kids, when you were a loser you are an easy target to be picked on. I guess, in all fairness, it wasn't quite as bad as it could have been. That's not to say I woke up each morning looking forward to a brand new day, either. Though I suppose, in a way, I brought it on myself for being so stupid and naive.
I think spent a majority of my time trying to do things to help me avoid and forget about other people. Y'know, keeping my head buried in the textbooks, playing video games to procrastinate from said textbooks, that kind of thing. Pretty standard anti-social geek doings, really. When it gets like that, all you really want is to be left alone. It felt like you fell into a ditch and there was no way out no matter how hard you struggled. You were doing everything right as far as you could tell, but nothing was working.
I'd say, looking back now with the benefit of a little hindsight, that the reason I failed so miserably at life back then is because I just didn't understand that people change. What works when you're just a kid doesn't necessarily work when you're a teenager. If you want to hang out with the big kids, you have to know how to be a big kid.
So that brings me to now, and I suppose I'm kind of desperately trying to become an adult so I don't get left behind again, knowing full well that although it might not be as harsh as high school, it's still something worth avoiding. Ah, insecurities. You can try to hide it but sooner or later it'll show.
You know, it's funny, I get a sense of déjà vu that I've rambled about this on several occasions before. Wouldn't be surprised. If I have, it probably means I still haven't found peace with it yet. I guess I'll keep looking.
Oh, but do check out those musics. They're good for a listen at least. :3
lol, Africa
Yeah, finished it at last. Looks kind of boring now that I've stared at it for so long. I posted it on the message board and the feedback I got was all pretty positive. I dunno, maybe they're all just taken in by the implied lesbian undertones. Anyway, I think I'll have to add a bit more action, or at least change the angle next time around to make it less dull one way or another.
Only one more week to go though~ Ooooone moooooore weeeeeek~~~! :3 And then there will be much shouting and applauding from the kitchen. ...Or something. Whatever, in a week it's not going to matter. Chugga chugga choo choo~
And on a totally unrelated note, Weird Al + Bill Plympton = win.
Oh, and I almost forgot but thought this was worth a mention: My good buddy Jay has gone ahead with his grand plans and registered http://www.mooglepirates.com/ as a domain. What a peanut. Now all we need is some content for it. He's thinking of putting up pictures of Moogles dressed in pirate outfits but I'd reckon a site like that would be just as good if it were dedicated to displaying how much of a peanut he is. That's something I could pitch to him the next time I see him, I guess.