Alternative meanings for words
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Cabbage Patch (n.), A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Discussion (n.), a Frisbee-related head injury.
Dopeler effect (n.), The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Excruciate (n.), the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flattery (n.), a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
Foreploy (n.), Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Giraffiti (n.), Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido (n.), All talk and no action.
Hipatitis (n.), Terminal coolness.
Intaxication (n.), Euphoria at receiving a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Ignoranus (n.), A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Ineffable (adj.), describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of.
Inspissator (n.), one who inspires covert micturation.
Inoculatte (n.), To take coffee intravenously.
Karmageddon (n.), It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Nincompoop (n.), the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Osteopornosis (n.), A degenerate disease.
Oral-B (n.), Monica's grade on her last intern evaluation.
Ozone (n.), area in which the G-spot is located.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Pimple (n.), pimp's apprentice.
Pontificate (n.), a document given to each graduating pope.
Population (n.), that nice sensation you get when drinking soda.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Perplexed (adj.), lost in a movie theater.
Pop Secret (n.), Paternity suit settled without publicity.
Racket (n.), a small pair of breasts.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Reintarnation (n.), Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Spatula (n.), A fight among vampires.
Sarchasm (n.), The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Semantics (n.) Pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood
Sudafed (n.), A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Cabbage Patch (n.), A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Discussion (n.), a Frisbee-related head injury.
Dopeler effect (n.), The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Excruciate (n.), the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flattery (n.), a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
Foreploy (n.), Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Giraffiti (n.), Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido (n.), All talk and no action.
Hipatitis (n.), Terminal coolness.
Intaxication (n.), Euphoria at receiving a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Ignoranus (n.), A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Ineffable (adj.), describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of.
Inspissator (n.), one who inspires covert micturation.
Inoculatte (n.), To take coffee intravenously.
Karmageddon (n.), It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Nincompoop (n.), the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Osteopornosis (n.), A degenerate disease.
Oral-B (n.), Monica's grade on her last intern evaluation.
Ozone (n.), area in which the G-spot is located.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Pimple (n.), pimp's apprentice.
Pontificate (n.), a document given to each graduating pope.
Population (n.), that nice sensation you get when drinking soda.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Perplexed (adj.), lost in a movie theater.
Pop Secret (n.), Paternity suit settled without publicity.
Racket (n.), a small pair of breasts.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Reintarnation (n.), Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Spatula (n.), A fight among vampires.
Sarchasm (n.), The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Semantics (n.) Pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood
Sudafed (n.), A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.