What a I wouldn't do for the right guy...
I'm such a hopeless romantic. I love to watch sappy romantic comedies (like You've Got Mail) and I love to see the two main characters get together in the end and imagine that they live the rest of their lives falling deeper in love with one another. I've finally managed to pick up the pieces to my little glass heart and all I can feel is this wanting...this horribly strong longing that I can't get rid of. I don't define myself by the relationships I'm in. I am me. I always will be me and I know I don't need anyone to be happy. I'm actually pretty content right now. I have a fairly decent job, my webcomic is going well, I have great friends and hopefully I'll be back in school soon....but I can't help but feel that there's something still missing. And I know what it is, I just don't want anyone to think that I want it to define who I am. It reminds me of what a fortune teller at Ren Fest said to me. Maybe all her other stuff was bogus, but there was one thing she pointed out that I never really thought of. I'm ready to settle down. I want to find HIM. The One. I still want to have adventures and experience life...but I want to do it with the man that makes my heart sing and makes me feel like I can fly. I want to spend hours on the phone with him, just talking about his day, about what he wants to do in life. I want to cuddle with him on the couch and watch movies together, to tease him when he doesn't wanna hold onto my purse at shops...to hold hands like we're 13 and shy, and steal kisses like we don't want anyone to see.
Damnit, I'm crying. I'm such a sap. I guess I'm feeling this way because I'm attracted to someone...and I'm too scared to even try to talk to him. I have almost 0 confidence now. No, scratch that...I have NEGATIVE confidence in myself and my attractiveness (or lack thereof). I would give anything right now to have him look at me and think for just one second "Hmm, she looks interesting...I'd like to get to know her."
But I haven't the foggiest idea how to do that