So we keep waiting; waiting on the world to change..
I truly don't know what my problem is.
Sometimes I am just the rudest bitch EVER. Like seriously, during those times you don't want to mess with me. It's so creepy! I just rip people apart. This is the time when someone bumps into me and I say "Learn to fucking walk, idiot."
Then other times, I am just extremely nice.. it's insane. This is the time when someone bumps into me and I say "I'm sorry!" with a smile. I'm terribly generous & I regret all of the mean things I've done in the recent past. That's how I am right now. When I get in a bad mood, I can't control my anger. I really wish it would go away.
And a lot of people call me fake because of this.
Well, to start off - we are all fake. I am nice to people that I don't like because I believe that it's not worth it to cause problems [with a few exceptions]. Sure it's fake, but would you rather me be a malicious bitch? I think not. Personally, I really just don't feel like constantly arguing, because I know I'll regret it later. I usually become friends with my enemies because of my strange moods. I'll say something REALLY mean to them & we'll get in a huuuge fight. The next day I'll feel bad & explain that I didn't mean what I said & I'm sorry [and whatnot]. It isn't a lie, seriously. It's like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.. I hate it.
I wish I could just make up with all the people that I'm fighting with right now [excluding about two people, whom are just idiots that will never change their ways]. I can't STAND having enemies. I mean, when I'm pissed off I really just don't give a shit about anything at all, and I throw out everything that I feel like saying. I'm really trying to work on it.
Starting off with Andy.
I take my anger out on him because I'm with him the most. He's such a great person; I don't deserve him. I'm snappy and bitchy sometimes. Sometimes we have an absolutely amazing time together. We rarely get in big fights, but we argue a lot [we're together almost every day]. I don't know if that's normal for couples, but I am trying to better myself anyway.
A lot of the time I actually succeed in this. Sometimes when I just feel like screaming, I'll make Andy lunch or scratch his back - just nice things that he does for me all the time.
He opens doors for me EVERY time, gives me neckrubs when I'm stressed out, lets me call him at any time if I need to [even at 6 AM before I go to school], he refuses to split around polls [if we're holding hands, we don't stop holding hands because of a poll, we go around it - I guess it's just some cute superstition that he has], he drives me almost everywhere [even when his gas tank is low], he gives me things just because he wants to, he takes me out to dinner & movies [and almost ALWAYS pays], he sets up cute dates.. and he never forgets to call me. He worries about me, and he actually cares how my day went. This is the boy that every girl writes about in their little "What the Perfect Guy Would Do" lists; that's no exaggeration. He's got beautiful eyes & perfect hair.. and he dresses the way he knows I find attractive [but he likes it too], and he always holds me when I'm sad and just need to be held. And he even plays bass. Not like a pussy, he's AMAZING at it. Actually, he can play the guitar and drums pretty well too. He's got a great taste in music, and he's gotten me into a lot of really great bands. He even listens to my crap when I want to.. in his own truck [but it's rare for me to make him do this].
Andy, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I really appreciate everything that you do for me. I say this almost every day, but you're perfect. If you're not completely perfect, well, you're as close as it gets. I'll never take that back. I am the luckiest girl in the world because you chose to be with me. I'm so glad you decided to do something great with your life - you have big plans. Your intelligence is so impressive.. you know everything about music. This sounds stupid, but it's so cute. You may not do perfect in school, but that doesn't say anything. You're a genius in every other way. You're always there for me, no matter what. You know when to just agree with me, whether you like it or not, and tell me what you think later when I'm not so pissed off. I say when I'm mad that you don't understand me, but you understand more than anyone else in the world. I trust you with everything, and I love how we don't lie to each other [people might laugh at this, but i'm not kidding], and how when you say you're not going to do something, you keep your word. Even though sometimes you think I don't want to kiss you, that's just me being a bitch again. I always want to kiss you, just sometimes when I'm looking at something else I get pissed when I'm interrupted.
Andy, I'll say it again, I'll say it a million times
you are as perfect as they come.
10/3/05
tomorrow..
looks like we made it ♥ :]
Sometimes I am just the rudest bitch EVER. Like seriously, during those times you don't want to mess with me. It's so creepy! I just rip people apart. This is the time when someone bumps into me and I say "Learn to fucking walk, idiot."
Then other times, I am just extremely nice.. it's insane. This is the time when someone bumps into me and I say "I'm sorry!" with a smile. I'm terribly generous & I regret all of the mean things I've done in the recent past. That's how I am right now. When I get in a bad mood, I can't control my anger. I really wish it would go away.
And a lot of people call me fake because of this.
Well, to start off - we are all fake. I am nice to people that I don't like because I believe that it's not worth it to cause problems [with a few exceptions]. Sure it's fake, but would you rather me be a malicious bitch? I think not. Personally, I really just don't feel like constantly arguing, because I know I'll regret it later. I usually become friends with my enemies because of my strange moods. I'll say something REALLY mean to them & we'll get in a huuuge fight. The next day I'll feel bad & explain that I didn't mean what I said & I'm sorry [and whatnot]. It isn't a lie, seriously. It's like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.. I hate it.
I wish I could just make up with all the people that I'm fighting with right now [excluding about two people, whom are just idiots that will never change their ways]. I can't STAND having enemies. I mean, when I'm pissed off I really just don't give a shit about anything at all, and I throw out everything that I feel like saying. I'm really trying to work on it.
Starting off with Andy.
I take my anger out on him because I'm with him the most. He's such a great person; I don't deserve him. I'm snappy and bitchy sometimes. Sometimes we have an absolutely amazing time together. We rarely get in big fights, but we argue a lot [we're together almost every day]. I don't know if that's normal for couples, but I am trying to better myself anyway.
A lot of the time I actually succeed in this. Sometimes when I just feel like screaming, I'll make Andy lunch or scratch his back - just nice things that he does for me all the time.
He opens doors for me EVERY time, gives me neckrubs when I'm stressed out, lets me call him at any time if I need to [even at 6 AM before I go to school], he refuses to split around polls [if we're holding hands, we don't stop holding hands because of a poll, we go around it - I guess it's just some cute superstition that he has], he drives me almost everywhere [even when his gas tank is low], he gives me things just because he wants to, he takes me out to dinner & movies [and almost ALWAYS pays], he sets up cute dates.. and he never forgets to call me. He worries about me, and he actually cares how my day went. This is the boy that every girl writes about in their little "What the Perfect Guy Would Do" lists; that's no exaggeration. He's got beautiful eyes & perfect hair.. and he dresses the way he knows I find attractive [but he likes it too], and he always holds me when I'm sad and just need to be held. And he even plays bass. Not like a pussy, he's AMAZING at it. Actually, he can play the guitar and drums pretty well too. He's got a great taste in music, and he's gotten me into a lot of really great bands. He even listens to my crap when I want to.. in his own truck [but it's rare for me to make him do this].
Andy, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I really appreciate everything that you do for me. I say this almost every day, but you're perfect. If you're not completely perfect, well, you're as close as it gets. I'll never take that back. I am the luckiest girl in the world because you chose to be with me. I'm so glad you decided to do something great with your life - you have big plans. Your intelligence is so impressive.. you know everything about music. This sounds stupid, but it's so cute. You may not do perfect in school, but that doesn't say anything. You're a genius in every other way. You're always there for me, no matter what. You know when to just agree with me, whether you like it or not, and tell me what you think later when I'm not so pissed off. I say when I'm mad that you don't understand me, but you understand more than anyone else in the world. I trust you with everything, and I love how we don't lie to each other [people might laugh at this, but i'm not kidding], and how when you say you're not going to do something, you keep your word. Even though sometimes you think I don't want to kiss you, that's just me being a bitch again. I always want to kiss you, just sometimes when I'm looking at something else I get pissed when I'm interrupted.
Andy, I'll say it again, I'll say it a million times
you are as perfect as they come.
10/3/05
tomorrow..
looks like we made it ♥ :]