Men, Men, Men, Men Manly Men!
Rating: R
Summary: Yoochun is a strong, confident man except when he isn't.
A/N: So forced myself to write because it's missvue09 's birthday. Thank you also to my awesome beta, Kim Youngme, who I love very, very much. Title is from 21/2 Men theme song. Translations for Junsu's tweets (@0101xiahtic) goes to @0101jyunshyu.
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"Hyung! I’ve lost my man chi and Junsu is going to dump me," Yoochun announced a tad dramatically before sprawling on the black leather monstrosity Jaejoong called a sofa. Confessing to Jaejoong sucked balls but pride has no place in matters of the heart , for all lovers are fools. Or if you believed his brother, hallucinating losers who make life difficult for all the other bros who just want to get laid.
Yoochun hadn't always been insecure in his manhood. In fact, as a teen, Yoochun had been a complete badass.
However, the emasculation he had to suffer while transforming into a kpop idol under SM, who had perfected the art of androgyny, had hit him hard. He had been traumatized when filming Over the Mountains, Across the River after being mistaken for a girl on three separate occasions.
It was then Yoochun came to a decision that no matter how much they waxed, tweezed or layered him with makeup, never again would his masculinity be questioned and he had worked hard to build a persona of understated yet unquestionable manliness.
His strategy reaped him rewards even greater than his lost dignity as he found himself captivated by the soft blush tainting Junsu's cheeks when he whispered something naughty in his ears and the dreamy eyed looks he received when Junsu thought Yoochun wasn't looking.
When they eventually did hook up (it was epic), Yoochun firmly believed it was because his man quotient had been at an all time high. Junsu saw Yoochun as the alpha man-the top to his bottom, and Yoochun had no complaints because he was in love. Really, everything was grand, even when the worst happened and they stood as three not five, because Junsu still looked at him as if he had stepped straight out of one of those Brawny commercials and nothing hurt.
Click to viewJaejoong stopped stalking his fans’ twitter feeds and asked, "And by man chi you mean-"
"My man essence, my pimposity, my inner Chuck Norris, everything that Junsu fell in love with," Yoochun replied, only slightly hysterical.
"It's not that bad, Junsu doesn't think that highly of your manhood," Jaejoong consoled, but Yoochun would have none of it.
"Are you kidding me? Junsu idolizes me! Half the time I’m embarrassed as hell and other times I feel like a bloody superhero who can leap off buildings and fucking fly!"
Jaejoong cocked an eyebrow, silently rebuking Yoochun for exaggerating.
"Oh yeah? Remember those crap lyrics for Mission I had written not knowing that he was actually going to keep them?"
When Junsu had asked him to help out with the rap part of a song he had been composing, Yoochun hadn't thought too much about it and had written a few lines, making sure to include ‘fuck’ because Junsu thought it was the coolest thing ever. The next thing he knew the kid was tweeting paeans about his alleged genius. Dammit, if he had known, he would have tried harder.
"Oh yeah, that was a bit overkill, I thought," Jaejoong mused, shrugging his shoulders when Yoochun gave him an evil look.
"Overkill or not, I was mortified," Yoochun muttered, twirling the ice cubes melting in his scotch.
"You know, he still stores those Sungkyunkwan Scandal posters and now he has added Miss Ripley ones, even though he hated the drama because of how my character was treated."
Jaejoong whistled at this information. He had not known that.
"Wow, I thought that had died down. He used to drive me and the staff nuts going on and on about the awesome 'Lee Sun Joon' and then all that stuff he tweeted. God, he might as well have tweeted ‘Yoosu is real,’ and be done with it."
Yoochun blushed as he remembered what had happened during the flight. One minute he was sleeping, the next he was dreaming about Junsu stroking him except it hadn't been a dream. Junsu had woken him up, dragged him to the tiny but thankfully clean toilet and proceeded to give him the one the best blow jobs of his life. The unexpectedness of the act, combined with the danger of getting caught had been a lethal combination and Yoochun had been trembling so hard that he though he would fall or scream or do both. When Junsu had unzipped him and taken his full length into his mouth, Yoochun had to bite his lips to stop himself from screaming. He had come embarrassingly fast, his hands clenching Junsu's hair. As he had stood panting, brain unable to process a single thought, Junsu had gotten up and kissed him sweet and slow. Yoochun had tasted himself and Junsu and felt very bewildered because he was still not fully awake.
It was only much later, after they had settled in their hotel, that Yoochun had read Junsu's tweets. He had been touched, and unknown to Junsu, had locked himself in the bathroom and cried a little bit. That night he made sure that he showed Junsu his gratitude again and again till they had both fallen into an exhausted slumber in each other’s arms.
"God you make me sick," Jaejoong said, making gagging sounds and Yoochun stopped grinning like an idiot and schooled his face into a sober, not imagining my boyfriend naked expression.
Jaejoong lit a cigarette and blew a perfect ring. "So we’ve established that Junsu thinks you are sex on toast, what exactly is the problem?"
Yoochun sighed and filched the cigarette off Jaejoong, taking a drag. "Well, Junsu has a thing about men being all masculine and he’s really impressionable. Now that he’s captaining FC Men, he keeps asking me to play--"
"Which you don't want to because you suck at football and hate getting dirty."
"Exactly! Then the picture with that stupid wig came out and it was Over the Mountains all over again, he laughed at me for days!"
When Jaejoong kept silent, Yoochun raised his head and saw him getting all misty eyed looking at old pictures on his phone. Yoochun cursed himself mentally and quickly added, "And he used to love Tigger more but now all he talks about is Leo," as if that explained everything.
Thankfully, Jaejoong took the bait and started ranting about how JiJi was being sidelined thanks to obese cats who did not deserve it and how Junsu had stolen his cat lady theme and so on. He would have continued for hours but Yoochun interrupted him, asking for help while displaying cringe worthy aegyo.
"Okay, never do that again,” Jaejoong said, the horror evident in his face. Suitably chastised, Yoochun nodded his head in agreement, feeling very ashamed.
Jaejoong then started googling and clicked open an youtube clip before handing the laptop to Yoochun.
"In and Out Masculinity tape?"
"Yup," Jaejoong replied, grinning as the video started.
When the clip ended, Yoochun just stared at Jaejoong blankly before asking the obvious, "Very funny, but this is supposed to help me how?"
"Well, Junsu is a dancing machine but you can't shake a hip to save your life so that makes you manlier than him?"
For a man who eschewed sports and other physical activities that involved sweat and shorts (he had a thing about his legs), except when partaken in the bedroom, living room, kitchen, green room, public restrooms or basically anywhere the sasaengs could not focus their telescopic lenses; he was surprisingly sprightly. Jaejoong easily ducked the giant elephant plushie projectile.
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Yoochun left Jaejoong watching sneezing pandas and headed over to Junsu's home, completely dispirited and with no fresh ideas on how to convince Junsu that he was still the man Junsu had fallen in love with. Except that man didn’t really exist. He was so fucked.
"Hey stranger,” Junsu greeted, closing the door before giving him a quick peck on his cheeks. The gesture was so familiar and comforting that Yoochun wrapped his arms around Junsu and buried his face in the crook of Junsu's neck. "I missed you."
Junsu smiled and hugged Yoochun back. "You’ve only been away an hour, you dork."
"But the hour was very long and Jaejoong hyung was an ass."
Junsu laughed, pulling free from Yoochun's arms. Clinging to Junsu like his life depended on it would probably not send the right message, so he let go, wondering if he was about to make the biggest mistake in his life.
"Junsu, I have something to tell-"
"Yoochun, I wanted to tell you-"
Fuck, he’s going to break up with me, right now, right here, Yoochun thought and broke out in a cold sweat. Suddenly, he was hyperaware of everything, his shirt was clinging uncomfortably to his back, sweat dripping down his forehead, his breath shallow and the inscrutable way Junsu was looking at him. Yoochun felt like throwing up.
"I’m joining FC Men," he blurted out, his words lying suspended in the silence of the room. When the quietness stretched unbearably, Yoochun let out a shaky whisper, imploring Junsu to say something.
Of all the things he had been expecting, Junsu tugging his hair and kissing him forcefully then proceeding to have his way with him had never entered his mind. While he was trying to figure out what this meant, Junsu had pushed him down, straddling him, and was deftly unbuttoning his shirt . By the time his pants were unbuttoned, Yoochun stopped caring.
"So you think that I fell in love with you because I thought you were some virile testosterone driven macho hunk?" Junsu asked, dragging Yoochun's secret out of him at some point between lubing himself and refusing to move once Yoochun was sheathed inside him.
"Fuck, kinda, but baby, can we talk about this later- please?” Yoochun begged, gasping as Junsu straightened, a frown wrinkling his forehead.
"So even though you hate sports, love fashion, are afraid of creepy crawlies, have the coordi noonas for best friends, not to mention I would totally kick your butt if we ever got into a fight , you think that you’re manlier than me?
"Uh...Yes? No? I... I don't know, seriously, just move baby."
Junsu undulated against Yoochun, fey doe eyes burning with an intensity usually reserved for when he was on stage, performing or on the field, running with wild abandon. He had never looked more beautiful and Yoochun had never been more in love. Then Junsu bent down and whispered against his lips, each word a fluttering kiss, his breath mingling with his own.
"I fell in love you with you because of who you are and not who you think I want you to be. So stop trying so hard and just accept the fact that I’m always going to be your biggest fan.”
Yoochun closed his eyes, shuddering against Junsu, unable to speak because he was afraid he would cry. He flipped Junsu over and rode him hard and fast because slow and easy was not an option.
"I love you and I’m sorry-"
"Shh, you’re still my man."
“So now that everything is settled, I have no need to join FC Men.”
“You better join, you ass!”
“Nope and you can’t make me.”
“Wanna be our cheerleader?’
“Just shut up.”
