reflections of.... the way I used to be
Tim and I rang in the new year watching Spiderman 1...intermission ;) then Spiderman 2. I honestly do not get WHY Portland lights off fireworks for New Years. My snarky insight says ANY REASON for the rednecks to blow shit up I guess =P.
Slept in a bit today, then Tim and I headed to Ikea. I heard HEY YOOPIE while walking about. I know all of 5 people...ok well what I mean is 5 to 6 people that I have seen enough to recognize. It was Evan and his wife (the owners of Insomnia Coffee). They were just walking about with their toddler. They said that Tim and I were the nicest people they have met in Portland. That made me smile, because depending on who you talk to, we are quite possibly the direct opposite.
While riding in the car from Hillsboro to Ikea, we listened to The Smiths and my mind wandered all over periods of time in my life. I remember struggling with my own self for so many years, letting every little thing seems like some BIG PLAN to bring me down, when in fact I WAS the one holding me down and back.
As I have mentioned way too many times, I made my own effort to get mentally stable. I did it with reading books. I did not do therapy, and I had already quit the mental drugs when I started my journey.
My brain fast forwarded to the NOW (in the car). I often cannot believe how incredibly awesome my life is today...REALLY. It is not bragging or should not be taken as such, it is the true instant realization that all the hard work, TRULY pays off. Tim is a saint. He stuck it out with me. I was still working the rest of my mental bugs out when we started dating. I know I pushed him hard at times...but FUCKING Hallelujiah...he is STILL WITH ME. I know Tim never posts so all anyone ever gets to see is my point of view on it all. But, I know those who get to see us out and about together...they just feel the vibe we give off and I know that those who are in tune, get it. =)
I look forward to each and every day with Tim and my furry kids. We have both made some goals and hopefully we can push each other to reach them.
I will say this....something is already different this year and I cannot even iterate how AWESOME that change is. In case I did not think that Tim and I could grow stronger and better...well slap me square in the face with..no girl you are WRONG =)
Many things to decide to put on the calendar this year...holy crap this year was busy before it even got here. I am going to try to be where I can for all the events coming soon. It's not always easy because most of the events I am invited to, are in the Mid West/East Coast...soo, I will have to pick and choose wisely.
On a final note...earlier I mentioned we were told we were such nice people. Well, Tim and I had made some serious scores at Ikea so Tim went to go get the car while I stood in the pouring rain, securing a parking spot for him to back into so we could load up the car.
I am strongly opinionated here so you can take the girl out of the East Coast but you cannot take the East Coast out of the girl.
While Tim and I talked about the plan...me stand in empty loading space to save for Tim to back into, while he got the car...another couple came out to sort of camp out I guess.
I waited for Tim and about 20 seconds before Tim arrived, a zip car was going to try to back in to the spot I was saving. This was the couple that may or may not have overheard the plan Tim and I discussed. The woman shouted out to me "Will you move?" I said "No." "I am saving this spot."
Then her husband who initially must have thought if he started backing up that I would move (which I didn't even flinch or budge). He drove forward then backed up to roll his window down and ask me if I would move. I said No, I am waiting for HIM...to which I pointed at Tim who was there with the car already and waiting to back in. The man said Well my wife was waiting for me.
I wish I would have said what I wanted but really, it was a waste of breath. She waited AFTER me and also she waited on the dock, I personally stood out in the rain IN the parking space. Another car had figured out what I was doing and just backed into another spot ...big deal.
Anywho, the woman said thank you to me and the man in the car shouted THANKS to me too. I said YOU'RE WELCOME. Truthfully...fuck them. Yep, that's right. Their plan apparently was to make me move...trust me, he tried to back up twice with me NOT MOVING.
So, ya know....whether I am right or wrong here...I am glad that I was assertive and stuck to what I believed. I believed that since I stood in that loading space for a good 10 minutes while Tim got the car that I had the right to the loading space. I will note that I was standing at the edge of the space so people could see me and figure out that I was holding it. The really cut throat side of me would have liked to see the guy even TRY to run me over while Tim was RIGHT THERE to watch. Yes, Tim and I are nice people, but once someone does something dumb to either one of us then the gloves are off so to speak. Heh, ok I just want it known I am not a pushover. Had HIS WIFE been standing in a spot in the rain to wait for him that might have been a much better plan for them. *shrug* =)
This brings me to my whole REFLECTIONS of how I used to be. I used to walk with my nose to the ground, I used to mumble and not look people in the eye when I spoke and I would have moved for those people back when I had no self esteem. Well just look at my bitchy self NOW LOL.
Much love and prosperity to all of you for the New Year. It seems 2008 was very hard and trying for so many of you and I really honestly hope that 2009 is so full of awesome that the trying times of 2008 seem like a bad dream.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Slept in a bit today, then Tim and I headed to Ikea. I heard HEY YOOPIE while walking about. I know all of 5 people...ok well what I mean is 5 to 6 people that I have seen enough to recognize. It was Evan and his wife (the owners of Insomnia Coffee). They were just walking about with their toddler. They said that Tim and I were the nicest people they have met in Portland. That made me smile, because depending on who you talk to, we are quite possibly the direct opposite.
While riding in the car from Hillsboro to Ikea, we listened to The Smiths and my mind wandered all over periods of time in my life. I remember struggling with my own self for so many years, letting every little thing seems like some BIG PLAN to bring me down, when in fact I WAS the one holding me down and back.
As I have mentioned way too many times, I made my own effort to get mentally stable. I did it with reading books. I did not do therapy, and I had already quit the mental drugs when I started my journey.
My brain fast forwarded to the NOW (in the car). I often cannot believe how incredibly awesome my life is today...REALLY. It is not bragging or should not be taken as such, it is the true instant realization that all the hard work, TRULY pays off. Tim is a saint. He stuck it out with me. I was still working the rest of my mental bugs out when we started dating. I know I pushed him hard at times...but FUCKING Hallelujiah...he is STILL WITH ME. I know Tim never posts so all anyone ever gets to see is my point of view on it all. But, I know those who get to see us out and about together...they just feel the vibe we give off and I know that those who are in tune, get it. =)
I look forward to each and every day with Tim and my furry kids. We have both made some goals and hopefully we can push each other to reach them.
I will say this....something is already different this year and I cannot even iterate how AWESOME that change is. In case I did not think that Tim and I could grow stronger and better...well slap me square in the face with..no girl you are WRONG =)
Many things to decide to put on the calendar this year...holy crap this year was busy before it even got here. I am going to try to be where I can for all the events coming soon. It's not always easy because most of the events I am invited to, are in the Mid West/East Coast...soo, I will have to pick and choose wisely.
On a final note...earlier I mentioned we were told we were such nice people. Well, Tim and I had made some serious scores at Ikea so Tim went to go get the car while I stood in the pouring rain, securing a parking spot for him to back into so we could load up the car.
I am strongly opinionated here so you can take the girl out of the East Coast but you cannot take the East Coast out of the girl.
While Tim and I talked about the plan...me stand in empty loading space to save for Tim to back into, while he got the car...another couple came out to sort of camp out I guess.
I waited for Tim and about 20 seconds before Tim arrived, a zip car was going to try to back in to the spot I was saving. This was the couple that may or may not have overheard the plan Tim and I discussed. The woman shouted out to me "Will you move?" I said "No." "I am saving this spot."
Then her husband who initially must have thought if he started backing up that I would move (which I didn't even flinch or budge). He drove forward then backed up to roll his window down and ask me if I would move. I said No, I am waiting for HIM...to which I pointed at Tim who was there with the car already and waiting to back in. The man said Well my wife was waiting for me.
I wish I would have said what I wanted but really, it was a waste of breath. She waited AFTER me and also she waited on the dock, I personally stood out in the rain IN the parking space. Another car had figured out what I was doing and just backed into another spot ...big deal.
Anywho, the woman said thank you to me and the man in the car shouted THANKS to me too. I said YOU'RE WELCOME. Truthfully...fuck them. Yep, that's right. Their plan apparently was to make me move...trust me, he tried to back up twice with me NOT MOVING.
So, ya know....whether I am right or wrong here...I am glad that I was assertive and stuck to what I believed. I believed that since I stood in that loading space for a good 10 minutes while Tim got the car that I had the right to the loading space. I will note that I was standing at the edge of the space so people could see me and figure out that I was holding it. The really cut throat side of me would have liked to see the guy even TRY to run me over while Tim was RIGHT THERE to watch. Yes, Tim and I are nice people, but once someone does something dumb to either one of us then the gloves are off so to speak. Heh, ok I just want it known I am not a pushover. Had HIS WIFE been standing in a spot in the rain to wait for him that might have been a much better plan for them. *shrug* =)
This brings me to my whole REFLECTIONS of how I used to be. I used to walk with my nose to the ground, I used to mumble and not look people in the eye when I spoke and I would have moved for those people back when I had no self esteem. Well just look at my bitchy self NOW LOL.
Much love and prosperity to all of you for the New Year. It seems 2008 was very hard and trying for so many of you and I really honestly hope that 2009 is so full of awesome that the trying times of 2008 seem like a bad dream.
XOXOXOXOXOXO