Don't Let DBSK Celebrate Valentine's Day- Changmin.
(Please pay careful attention to the computer’s responses. You won’t regret it. =D)
(This was totally based off of the M&M’s website, plus my own experiences shopping online minus a fair amount of sanity. ^^)
Changmin’s Valentines
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>Welcome to My M&M’s dot com, where you get to personalize your own bag of M&M’s!<
*click*
>Is this going to be a gift?<
You clicked “Yes”
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “Yunho”
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Yunho”?<
You chose “Blue”
You wrote “… I’m already hungry. Damnit, this is gonna be torture… =/”
>Then go make a sandwich.<
You typed “What?”
>NOTHING!<
……
>Now it’s time to create your own personal message. You can write up to two lines, with a max of 8 characters per line per M&M. You get two messages. What will your first M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Happy
Line 2: V-Day!
>Great! Now, what will your final M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: ILUYUNHO
Line 2: …sshi!
>Time to select the packaging! What will your recipient receive their personalized candy in?<
You chose “Gift Bag”
>Awesome! One last question: Is the person receiving this a boyfriend/girlfriend?<
Your answer, “Hell no,” is not valid.
>We’re sorry, we didn’t understand your response. Is the person receiving this a boyfriend/girlfriend?<
You answer, “What part of ‘Hell no’ don’t you understand, mysterious online M&M Powers-That-Be??” is not valid.
>We’re sorry, we didn’t understand your response. Is the person receiving this a boyfriend/girlfriend?<
You answered “No”
>We thank you for your enthusiasm, but you do not need to click “No” more than fourteen times in a row.<
>Thank you for your order! You should receive your candy in about a week. We would like to take this time to ask you to complete a surv-<
You closed the window.
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>Welcome to My M&M’s dot com, where you get to personalize your own bag of M&M’s!<
*click*
>We’re sorry, the page could not be loaded. Please try again.<
*refresh*
*refresh*
*refresh*
*refresh*
*clickclickclickclickclickclickclick*
*CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK*
>Welcome to My M&M’s dot com, where you get to personalize your own bag of M&M’s!<
*click*
>Is this going to be a gift?<
You clicked “Yes”
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “Yoochun”
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Yoochun”?<
You chose “Purple”
You wrote “Get it? Purple for PURPLE LINE! Hey Chunnie, you feel like touching yourself?”
>We’re sorry, we didn’t understand your response. What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Yoochun”?<
You wrote “0.0 Ho-my-god I didn’t mean that. MENTAL IMAGES! ERASE, ERASE-“
>We’re sorry, we didn’t understand your response. What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Yoochun”?<
You chose “Purple”
>Now it’s time to create your own personal message. You can write up to two lines, with a max of 8 characters per line per M&M. You get two messages. What will your first M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Stop
Line 2: Coming (…that’s what he said ><.)
>We’re sorry, Line 2 is too long. Please try again.<
Line 1: Stop
Line 2: Coming
>Great! Now, what will your final M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Near my
Line 2: CPU4porn
>Time to select the packaging! What will your recipient receive their personalized candy in?<
You chose “Clear box”
You wrote “So the world can witness the potential threat of viruses you put my computer through!!”
>We’re sorry, we didn’t understand your response. Please try again. What will your recipient receive their personalized candy in?<
You chose “Clear box”
>Thank you for your order! You should receive your candy in about a week. Would you like to add gift wrapping to this order?<
You answered “Yes”
>Great! Please choose your gift wrap from the options below.<
You chose the “Wedding Anniversary Celebration” gift wrapping
You typed “LOLOLOLOLOLOLYOOSULOLOLOLOLOLOLOLJKJK… right?”
You typed “Those engagement ring stories aren’t true, right?”
You typed “RIGHT?!”
You typed “LOL no wait- of course I’m right. I’m always right. … right?”
You typed “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL”
>Nice choice! What would you like to do now?<
You changed your choice to the “Baby’s First Birthday” gift wrapping
You typed “For you, you big sleepy baby <3”
>Nice choice! What would you like to do now?<
You changed your choice to the “Girl’s Hannah Montana Sweet Sixteen” gift wrapping
You typed “ROFLCOPTER I LOVE DOING THIS!”
>Nice choice! What would you like to do now?<
*back*
*back*
*back*
*back*
*back*
>Thank you for your order! You should receive your candy in about a week. Would you like to add gift wrapping to this order?<
You answered “No”
You closed the window.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>Welcome to My M&M’s dot com, where you get to personalize your own bag of M&M’s!<
*click*
>Is this going to be a gift?<
You clicked “Yes”
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “Junsu”
>What color M & M’s would you like to use for recipient “Junsu”?<
You chose the “Sweetheart” color blend
You wrote “For that little innocent sweetheart… aww… no, wait. He’s too innocent!”
>We will ignore the extra posted text. Please refrain from these actions in the future. It’s really getting annoying.<
>Now it’s time to create your own personal message. You can write up to two lines, with a max of 8 characters per line per M&M. You get two messages. What will your first M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Watch
Line 2: Porn!!!!
>Great! Now, what will your final M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Ur 2 in-
Line 2: nocent!!
>Time to select the packaging! What will your recipient receive their personalized candy in?<
You chose “Silver tin”
You added “Teddy bear” as a gift to your order
You wrote “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”
>We have been warning you about the extra text, customer. Keep it up. We dare you.<
……
>Awesome! You have been chosen to answer one simple question by our internet server. Please answer and we will redirect you to your ordering page immediately.<
Your response, s;fjsidghsdugyweytwy&^&AYTEuihtgjsghsdgfsdkjfhbsdkgfhdsgfIHATEYOU, is not valid. The question has not even been asked yet.
>This is known as revenge, customer. Stop your whining.<
>For what occasion are you buying this gift?<
You chose “Other”
>If “other,” please write in for what occasion you are buying this gift.<
You wrote “Satanic Dolphin Worship Mating Dance Day”
You wrote “You all are idiots”
>We chose to ignore that, customer.<
……
>Thank you for your response! We will now redirect you to your order!<
>Thank you for your order! You should receive your candy in about a week. Would you like to add a card to go along with your gift for the holiday “Satanic Dolphin Worship Mating Dance Day”?<
You closed the window.
… You punched the keyboard in anger.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>Welcome to My M&M’s dot com, where you get to personalize your own bag of M&M’s!<
*click*
>Is this going to be a gift?<
You clicked “Yes”
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “Jaerkface”
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Jaerkface”?<
*back*
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “dance!fail”
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “dance!fail”?<
*back*
>What is the name of your recipient?<
You answered “Girly Locks”
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Girly Locks”?<
*back*
*stop loading page*
*refresh*
>What color M&M’s would you like to use for recipient “Girly Locks”?<
You chose “For her” color blend
>Now it’s time to create your own personal message. You can write up to two lines, with a max of 8 characters per line per M&M. You get two messages. What will your first M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: ipwn@
Line 2: 1touch!!
>Great! Now, what will your final M&M personalization be?<
Line 1: Cook
Line 2: Faster!!
>Time to select the packaging! What will your recipient receive their personalized candy in?<
You chose “Elegant Bag”
You added “Women’s Rose Bouquet” as a gift to your order
You typed “Girls like flowers, right?”
>Yes, they do. Jaejoong will love them, Changmin.<
You wrote “How the hell do you know who I am?”
>Who in their right mind doesn’t know DBSK?<
You wrote “Touché, computer. Touché. Let’s continue, shall we?”
>Yes, let’s. But to let you know… you’re my favorite, Changmin. You always have been.<
You wrote “That’s… awesome? Um… can we… can we please continue? Please?”
>Sigh. Whatever you say. Anything for you, Changmin.<
……
>Awesome! Is there anything else you would like to add to your order?<
You clicked “No”
You wrote ijhsioehfusghsrukgh*Y*&^&AYUDGSFHBgfsghgNOFREAKINGWAY!!!
*back*
You chose “add pictures to my personalized M&M’s”
>Welcome! Would you like to add a picture to your personalized M&M gift?<
You clicked “Yes”
>Please choose the picture from your computer files, and we will upload it onto our server. In no time you’ll see your own picture on an M&M!<
You chose the file “Jaesleepingwithhismouthwideopenafteristuffed8tissuesuphisnose.jpg”
>Awesome! Is there anything else you’d like to add to your order?<
You clicked “No”
You wrote “I’m still hungry, though T__T”
You wrote “I could go for a pizza right about now…”
You wrote “Or a burger.”
You wrote “OMG or some of Jae’s bibimbap! OMG”
You wrote “I’M SO FREAKING HUNGRY X_X”
>I can cook for you, Changmin. I can be everything you need… forever.<
You wrote “Okay, I really don’t know nor want to actually understand when my computer became a fangirl, but let’s get this straight: even if you can cook for me, I totally don’t go for girls with wires sticking out of their sides. It’s… it’s not natural, man.”
……
You wrote “Oh, damn, did I hurt your… uh, feelings? Um… I just mean, I’m not ready for a relationship right now, uh… computer. Sshi. Computer-sshi. I’m sorry. Can we continue??”
>Whatever you say, Changmin. I… I understand. =/<
You wrote “THANK YOU, COMPUTER-SSHI! :D”
……
>Thank you for your order! You should receive your candy in about a week.<
You wrote “Wait, wait- that’s it? No random closing statements, no ridiculous offers to add to my purchase? I see how it is, now. I’m officially offended by the lack of spam, Computer-sshi!”
You closed the window before the computer struck back.
……
*click*
>CHECK OUT HOTXXXBABESSEXYWATCHHERLICKALOLLIPOPSLIKEAKITTENSLURPINGUPMILK!<
You closed the window.
>PORNPORNPORN! CAN THIS SEXY MAN LIVE UP TO HIS WILDEST, WETTEST DREAMS? WHEN THE NEW SHERRIF COMES INTO TOWN-<
You closed the window.
>FREE SEX PICTURES! NUDE NUDE NUDE! JAEJOONG IN A SPEEDO-<
You closed the window.
>XXXXXXXXRAWRRAWRPORNPORNYAYPORNXXXXXXXXX<
You closed the window.
You threw the keyboard on the ground.
You unplugged the computer. Bye-bye.
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“GOD DAMNIT, YOOCHUN!”
A/N: So, to everyone who was expecting a pairing… um… I’m so sorry! D: But to be honest I love making everyone happy and everyone certainly would NOT be happy if I paired Changmin up with someone they didn’t care for… so again I say D: lol. Oh- FYI, I do NOT usually experience the computer creepily talking back to me and all… usually XD
Have a lovely Valentine’s Day, everyone :D
I <3 each of you, my readers ^^
Think of these as my valentines to YOU lol XD