but every now and then, look around.
as the doors open, you realize your dreams. you realize what you want to do in life, whether it be to save lives or write novels. everyone has something to do while they're alive, and jung yunho was no different.
‘he’s flat lining, get me a crash cart!’
the staff all wait, it’s not that he has no authority, it’s just that the patient has more. kim jaejoong wanted to die, he thought it all through, comas were a possibility, but never thought through, the same as waking up in a dream-like state. he thought it all through, he wrote his will, he gave his bank account, or what was left of it to his mother and father. everything else was going to be burned, as he lay on his deathbed, he wanted to be left as a memory.
‘i said get me a crash cart!’
the patient doesn’t want it, kim jaejoong doesn’t want it. he’s wanted to die since grade school. life opens no doors for him, life has hated his existence, and he has hated life. kim jaejoong wants to die, but it’s such a contradiction from his own words.
(i’m afraid, death scares me.)
the words of a dying man. he went into cardiac arrest, the staff unknowing of his current situation, all except jung yunho.
“i said bring me a fucking crash cart, he’s going to die!’
jung yunho became ballistic, the reason this story is being written, much like a documentary, but much more like a love story, not so much romeo and juliet, but more of a romance which was never meant to be since the birth of these two. the world hates these types of relationships, it’s a crime, it’s a love.
(if i’ve never heard you say it, let me hear it now. i hate you.)
kim jaejoong is laying on the hospital bed, he’s flat lining and the only one, the only person who wants to save him, who wants him to see the bright of day again, is this man, jung yunho. the words will never escape his sultry lips, as the same for the man on the bed. the pushes aren’t working, the pulse is getting weaker. but what the man doesn’t know, is that patients die every day, they can’t all be saved.
(this one will, i will save his life.)
jung yunho pushes past the clueless interns, they have no idea behind the relationship, neither does kim jaejoong.
‘hold the door!’
yunho put his foot out and the elevator door opened once more, a frantic man running in breathless, papers are flying and his cheeks are icy.
‘thank you’ he said with a smile, jung yunho knows better though, it’s just a stupid gesture.
yunho smiled and jaejoong felt his heart skip a beat. they were both interns at the same hospital, yunho graduated at the top of his class, and as for jaejoong, he loved medical science, he loved it more than his own life.
a proposal in the works, who will be the senior resident of the hospital, yunho talks to the general surgeon chief about replacement, he wants to be transferred to the er. acceptance is hard, but denial is easy. yunho’s turned down, but he doesn’t care, kim jaejoong hasn’t surpassed him yet, so he’s alright.
the only time they ever talk is in the locker room and the passing elevator rides. but one day, yunho sneaks into the scan room and kim jaejoong has a tumor in his brain, tears don’t come, instead replaced with anger. he realizes it all, the elevator rides, the scan room, it all fits together.
kim jaejoong, i won’t say i love you, i won’t say ‘will you marry me’ and they sign a post-it note. kim jaejoong is happy, the feelings were received with warmth.
the flat lining worsens and jung yunho rushes back in with the cart, he moves jaejoong’s body onto it and shocks him.
(one, two, three. one, two, three.)
three seconds each, at least three minutes have passed, kim jaejoong has not woken up.
a blurry, white heaven-like sequence is entered and kim jaejoong is on cloud nine. death is better than he imagined, but there’s only one thing wrong with it and why he can’t be here, jung yunho. he jumps and his wings turn white, they’re clipped by someone, jaejoong never got his name, but he heard a ‘park yoochun’ somewhere in the mix.
he falls back down and he can see his body, jung yunho, and a now empty room. yunho doesn’t give up, he knows jaejoong will make it.
a flashback falls to the ground and jaejoong follows, the impact is severe, but nothing he can’t handle.
(hi, i’m jung yunho, are you one of the interns here too?
yeah. i’m kim jaejoong by the way.
the door opens and they look at each other. jaejoong’s wearing a formal black suit and yunho the same. it’s the interns’ ball, and they both left, something about how it’s no fun.
silence is awkward, yet refreshing in this case, they stare at each other, into their souls if possible.)
and the flat lining stops. yunho’s tears dry and the interns and the chief crowd around the glass, kim jaejoong, they need to know.
a cold-slightly-warm hand curls into his. kim jaejoong can barely crack open his eyes, but jung yunho is right there, right by his side, and he knows it.
‘you never left, even after i said to.’
jaejoong can barely speak, but he has to say this, it’s only for a short moment, the flat lining could start at anytime, at any given moment, so this must be said.
‘i’ve been by your side since the day we meet in the elevator. i’ve always been watching over you, if anything happened to you, i’d lose my will to live.’
‘am i crying?’
jaejoong’s question is normal, the man never did know when he was crying or not, that was yunho’s favorite question, and he answered correctly every time.
‘yes, you are.’
yunho’s face is smiling and jaejoong tries, but he’s in so much pain.
(beep, beep, b-e-e-p.)
‘will you leave again?’
yunho looks down at the floor, his hands covered in blood and jaejoong hasn’t caught him red-handed yet.
‘which do you want?’
jaejoong takes off the oxygen mask and it’s starting to get hard to breathe, but he can make it, he can get through it.
‘i want a ‘no’.’
there’s no happy ending, and there’s no kiss, but kim jaejoong and jung yunho are fighters to the end. they don’t see a white light, instead it’s a dim room, and a single, red rose pined up on the wall. the petals fan out and the words are there, all of them.
(love, hate, despise, depression, happiness, and the list goes on.)
all the petals fall to the floor, all but one. jaejoong and yunho play a game now, guess the word; they both guessed correctly in the end.
‘he’s flat lining, get me a crash cart!’
the staff all wait, it’s not that he has no authority, it’s just that the patient has more. kim jaejoong wanted to die, he thought it all through, comas were a possibility, but never thought through, the same as waking up in a dream-like state. he thought it all through, he wrote his will, he gave his bank account, or what was left of it to his mother and father. everything else was going to be burned, as he lay on his deathbed, he wanted to be left as a memory.
‘i said get me a crash cart!’
the patient doesn’t want it, kim jaejoong doesn’t want it. he’s wanted to die since grade school. life opens no doors for him, life has hated his existence, and he has hated life. kim jaejoong wants to die, but it’s such a contradiction from his own words.
(i’m afraid, death scares me.)
the words of a dying man. he went into cardiac arrest, the staff unknowing of his current situation, all except jung yunho.
“i said bring me a fucking crash cart, he’s going to die!’
jung yunho became ballistic, the reason this story is being written, much like a documentary, but much more like a love story, not so much romeo and juliet, but more of a romance which was never meant to be since the birth of these two. the world hates these types of relationships, it’s a crime, it’s a love.
(if i’ve never heard you say it, let me hear it now. i hate you.)
kim jaejoong is laying on the hospital bed, he’s flat lining and the only one, the only person who wants to save him, who wants him to see the bright of day again, is this man, jung yunho. the words will never escape his sultry lips, as the same for the man on the bed. the pushes aren’t working, the pulse is getting weaker. but what the man doesn’t know, is that patients die every day, they can’t all be saved.
(this one will, i will save his life.)
jung yunho pushes past the clueless interns, they have no idea behind the relationship, neither does kim jaejoong.
‘hold the door!’
yunho put his foot out and the elevator door opened once more, a frantic man running in breathless, papers are flying and his cheeks are icy.
‘thank you’ he said with a smile, jung yunho knows better though, it’s just a stupid gesture.
yunho smiled and jaejoong felt his heart skip a beat. they were both interns at the same hospital, yunho graduated at the top of his class, and as for jaejoong, he loved medical science, he loved it more than his own life.
a proposal in the works, who will be the senior resident of the hospital, yunho talks to the general surgeon chief about replacement, he wants to be transferred to the er. acceptance is hard, but denial is easy. yunho’s turned down, but he doesn’t care, kim jaejoong hasn’t surpassed him yet, so he’s alright.
the only time they ever talk is in the locker room and the passing elevator rides. but one day, yunho sneaks into the scan room and kim jaejoong has a tumor in his brain, tears don’t come, instead replaced with anger. he realizes it all, the elevator rides, the scan room, it all fits together.
kim jaejoong, i won’t say i love you, i won’t say ‘will you marry me’ and they sign a post-it note. kim jaejoong is happy, the feelings were received with warmth.
the flat lining worsens and jung yunho rushes back in with the cart, he moves jaejoong’s body onto it and shocks him.
(one, two, three. one, two, three.)
three seconds each, at least three minutes have passed, kim jaejoong has not woken up.
a blurry, white heaven-like sequence is entered and kim jaejoong is on cloud nine. death is better than he imagined, but there’s only one thing wrong with it and why he can’t be here, jung yunho. he jumps and his wings turn white, they’re clipped by someone, jaejoong never got his name, but he heard a ‘park yoochun’ somewhere in the mix.
he falls back down and he can see his body, jung yunho, and a now empty room. yunho doesn’t give up, he knows jaejoong will make it.
a flashback falls to the ground and jaejoong follows, the impact is severe, but nothing he can’t handle.
(hi, i’m jung yunho, are you one of the interns here too?
yeah. i’m kim jaejoong by the way.
the door opens and they look at each other. jaejoong’s wearing a formal black suit and yunho the same. it’s the interns’ ball, and they both left, something about how it’s no fun.
silence is awkward, yet refreshing in this case, they stare at each other, into their souls if possible.)
and the flat lining stops. yunho’s tears dry and the interns and the chief crowd around the glass, kim jaejoong, they need to know.
a cold-slightly-warm hand curls into his. kim jaejoong can barely crack open his eyes, but jung yunho is right there, right by his side, and he knows it.
‘you never left, even after i said to.’
jaejoong can barely speak, but he has to say this, it’s only for a short moment, the flat lining could start at anytime, at any given moment, so this must be said.
‘i’ve been by your side since the day we meet in the elevator. i’ve always been watching over you, if anything happened to you, i’d lose my will to live.’
‘am i crying?’
jaejoong’s question is normal, the man never did know when he was crying or not, that was yunho’s favorite question, and he answered correctly every time.
‘yes, you are.’
yunho’s face is smiling and jaejoong tries, but he’s in so much pain.
(beep, beep, b-e-e-p.)
‘will you leave again?’
yunho looks down at the floor, his hands covered in blood and jaejoong hasn’t caught him red-handed yet.
‘which do you want?’
jaejoong takes off the oxygen mask and it’s starting to get hard to breathe, but he can make it, he can get through it.
‘i want a ‘no’.’
there’s no happy ending, and there’s no kiss, but kim jaejoong and jung yunho are fighters to the end. they don’t see a white light, instead it’s a dim room, and a single, red rose pined up on the wall. the petals fan out and the words are there, all of them.
(love, hate, despise, depression, happiness, and the list goes on.)
all the petals fall to the floor, all but one. jaejoong and yunho play a game now, guess the word; they both guessed correctly in the end.