heartache smudges.
Title: Heartache smudges.
Author: yoochunlove
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun (implied).
Rating: pg
Genre: angst, romance, tragedy.
Length: oneshot.
WC: 1,913.
Warning: character death, but with a sort-of happy ending.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't need to write fanfics.
Summary: Yunho's going to get married, but not to Jaejoong. Changmin confronts Jaejoong about his damn feelings toward Yunho, and Yoochun's going to drown in his tears. Junsu drives Jaejoong to the wedding hall and they all wait and see if Jaejoong and Yunho are able to be together again in the end.
A/N: this is my favorite second favorite fic I've written so far 8D
+ will edit mistakes later.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I hope you have a wonderful life with her.”
It strained his heart so much to say those words to him. He couldn’t take the separation, it hurt him so much. He wanted to shout out his love once more so the other man could understand. He wanted…he wanted…to spend an eternity with him. (Why did I have to fall in love with you?), he thought.
He didn’t want him to leave. He knew that without the other man, his life would become a meaningless existence. He didn’t want to live that way, not without him.
“I...”
“Just leave, please…just leave.”
The other man looked at him; he felt so much grief. It tugged mercilessly at his heart strings, why did love have to hurt so much?
He closed the door and the man fell to his knees. He curled up into a ball and ran his hand through his locks. He was in so much agony. The only other time he felt so much anguish was years ago when he had been told his parents had died in an unfortunate accident.
His heart couldn’t take this much torture, it was hell on his emotions. His friends all told him to leave it and move on, but how could he? He thought that Yunho loved him, but he guesses it was all a sham.
Jaejoong got up from the floor and ran over to their, no, his bedroom. Grabbing for a box of extra-absorbent tissues, he walked over to the window. The sky had cleared up and the rain had stopped.
Looking up at the sun, there was a glint of sadness shining through the glass panel. He knew that this is what heartbreak felt like. He felt so much sorrow, how could he move on like this? Jaejoong dropped his knees to the floor and rested his hands on the window sill. He leaned his head up against the glass and breathed out.
Drawing a small heart on the self-made fog, he quickly smudged it with his hand and almost broke the glass with a slam.
Sorrow, it was all he could feel. He felt like tearing out his heart and mailing it to Yunho, so he could see just how much Jaejoong loved him.
Boarding flight seventy-eight to Los Angelus, California; gate E twenty-five, gate E twenty-five.
He looked back at the door to the airport, (this is it.) he thought. He grabbed his bags and headed to the boarding gate. Jaejoong was just about to hand his ticket to the stewardess when he felt a hand brush up against his cold shoulder.
The temperature was sixty-nine degrees and it was January, but all Jaejoong was wearing was khaki shorts, a thin long-sleeve tee, and a black beanie.
The man grabbed Jaejoong’s shoulders and turned him around. He shook Jaejoong and screamed at him not to leave. Jaejoong couldn’t hear though, when he heard the man speak Yunho’s name, he blocked it all out. He never wanted to hear that person’s name again.
“Jaejoong! Are you fucking listening to me?”
He zoned out and removed himself from the man, the passing audience of the quarrel seemed quite interested in what seemed to be a lovers’ spat. Jaejoong pushed his hand out to the man’s shoulder and gently pushed him back.
“Goodbye Changmin. I guess this will be our last meeting, won’t it? I’ll miss you.”
Jaejoong smiled and turned back around, grabbing his ticket from the stewardess, he was about to walk down the aisle to his gate. Changmin shouted his name aloud; almost the entire airport had their eyes glued on the two of them.
Jaejoong stopped and he could feel a tear coming about, but he bit his lower lip and held it in. (Weakness should not be shown), he though.
“Go tell him right now Jaejoong. Tell him this isn’t right! If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Yoochun. He’s been crying his eyes out for the last week over you two. He wants nothing more than for the two of you to be with each other again, he pains me to see him so hurt like this. And it also pains me to see you killing yourself like this. You can’t just run away and ignore this for the rest of your life!”
Changmin balled his hands up and glared at Jaejoong’s backside. It looked like as if Changmin was trying to bore a hole in his back. Changmin could feel tears forming, but he needed to be strong for Jaejoong.
Jaejoong turned around and slowly walked to Changmin, he hung his head low, (he’s probably crying), thought Changmin.
He stopped about eight inches away from Changmin and didn’t lift up his head.
“What should I do then? Tell me. Go on, tell me!”
Jaejoong lifted his head up and tears rolled down his cheeks in thin streamlines. Why did Changmin have to come? Why did he have to remind Jaejoong of all of this?
“You need to get your head straight and figure out what Yunho means to you. If you don’t then all this will have been for naught.”
(When did this boy get so mature?), thought Jaejoong as he was staring straight into Changmin’s brown eyes. Jaejoong back down at the floor as he felt Changmin put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Jaejoong, the wedding is today. If you don’t get to him in time, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I know that he loves you just as much as you love him, maybe even more.”
Changmin gave him a reassuring smile and wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s smaller frame, just a friendly gesture, but the passerbyers didn’t know that. Changmin moved back from Jaejoong and walked off a little down the venue.
“I have to go now; Yoochun might have drowned in his tears. I hope you can fix all this Jaejoong, I sincerely hope so.”
Changmin smiled and left with a wave. Jaejoong looked up at the clock in the middle of the venue; it was already six in the morning. The wedding would be starting at nine, he didn’t have much time. To make matters worse, he didn’t have a car with him, considering he came by taxi.
He ran out and tried to hail a taxi, but to no avail, there were no taxis at this hour. He let out a heavy sigh as he was just about to sit down on a nearby bench. He heard a honk and swiftly turned around, a taxi.
Jaejoong got in and told him the direction of where to go. Jaejoong was just about to ask how much it would cost, but when the man said (it’s free); Jaejoong looked at the mirror and saw the driver’s face.
“Junsu, d-“
“It’s okay Jaejoong, I’ll get you to Yunho before it starts, I promise you. I can’t let the two of you ruin each other’s lives, now can I?”
Junsu beamed and Jaejoong rested his back against the cushioned seat. He leaned his ahead against the winder pane and his head kept bumping up and down. The streets needed to be re-paved. The wedding venue was more than two hours away; would he make it in time?
It had started raining by the time Junsu had gotten five miles within the distance of the wedding hall.
Junsu stopped in front of the wedding hall, the bells had chimed and the doves were flying, was it too late?
“Okay, where’s the groom? The wedding can’t start without the groom.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh of relief as his walked across the street, stopping in the middle. He stopped right in the middle of the street, his legs refused to move. He saw Yunho, stand right at the steps of the hall. He was wearing a luxurious black tuxedo, and his hair looked absolutely magnificent. It was as if the man had an aura around him, Jaejoong had noticed it all along though. Jaejoong was being drenched in the rain, but it didn’t faze him. He was only focused on Yunho.
Jaejoong wanted to scream out Yunho’s name, he wanted to tell Yunho everything.
Yunho kept laughing with his friends when he felt a hard pat on his back; it was his bride’s father, his soon to be father-in-law. Yunho turned around to thank him for his blessings, but he was caught in between his heartache. He could feel his heart pounding and he walked out into the rain.
His friends and father-in-law were telling him to come back under the tent, he would be soaking wet, but it was too late, he was already soaking wet. Yunho kept staring in front of him, at the man in front of him, just as drenched as him. He stopped at the rim of the sidewalk.
His friends were still yelling at to come back under the tent, the wedding would be starting soon and he would need to get changed into the back-up tuxedo. But Yunho couldn’t hear any of it; all he could hear was the pitter-patter of raindrops splashing onto the pavement. All he could see was Jaejoong.
“Jaejoong…”
“I’m sorry Yunho, but I didn’t want it to end like this.”
“I didn’t want it to end up like this either.”
“Then why are you marrying her?!”
Jaejoong balled his hands up into fist and hung his head low once more. He was crying, but it was practically impossible to notice, due to the rain.
“My parents thought that if I married her, I would become the straight son that they’ve always wanted.”
“Is that why..?”
“Of course Jaejoong, I would never leave you willingly. I love you more than you could ever know.”
“Yunho...”
Yunho held his hand out for Jaejoong to grasp, but he turned his head to the side, a car was driving this way, and it didn’t look like it could see Yunho and Jaejoong, the fog was getting heavier. Yunho yelled for Jaejoong to move and Jaejoong looked at him, puzzled.
He turned his head and saw the car coming his way, it was just a couple yards away now, he was going to die, and there was no time to move. His body felt like it was stuck to the pavement, it refused to move. Yunho didn’t know what to do, the love of his life was about to die.
Yunho jumped forward and wrapped Jaejoong in his arms; he whispered one last thing in Jaejoong’s ear before all that was heard was shrieks of terror from Yunho’s friends, and the screeching of car tires.
(I’m sorry for leaving you in the first place, but now I’ll never leave you, I promise that.)
Changmin, Yoochun, and Junsu walked up the Yunho’s and Jaejoong’s casket. Yoochun was a giant mess of tears, pulling out tissues from his pockets and blowing his nose countless times. Changmin wrapped his arm around Yoochun’s shoulder and kissed him on the forehead.
Junsu and Changmin knew that even though this was a horrible tragedy, at least the two of them wouldn’t have to hide anything anymore and they could finally be happy. They gently set the roses down.
The three of them hung their heads low and left the funeral hall. The last thing seen was the picture frame of Yunho and Jaejoong on their first date.
Author: yoochunlove
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Changmin/Yoochun (implied).
Rating: pg
Genre: angst, romance, tragedy.
Length: oneshot.
WC: 1,913.
Warning: character death, but with a sort-of happy ending.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I wouldn't need to write fanfics.
Summary: Yunho's going to get married, but not to Jaejoong. Changmin confronts Jaejoong about his damn feelings toward Yunho, and Yoochun's going to drown in his tears. Junsu drives Jaejoong to the wedding hall and they all wait and see if Jaejoong and Yunho are able to be together again in the end.
A/N: this is my favorite second favorite fic I've written so far 8D
+ will edit mistakes later.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I hope you have a wonderful life with her.”
It strained his heart so much to say those words to him. He couldn’t take the separation, it hurt him so much. He wanted to shout out his love once more so the other man could understand. He wanted…he wanted…to spend an eternity with him. (Why did I have to fall in love with you?), he thought.
He didn’t want him to leave. He knew that without the other man, his life would become a meaningless existence. He didn’t want to live that way, not without him.
“I...”
“Just leave, please…just leave.”
The other man looked at him; he felt so much grief. It tugged mercilessly at his heart strings, why did love have to hurt so much?
He closed the door and the man fell to his knees. He curled up into a ball and ran his hand through his locks. He was in so much agony. The only other time he felt so much anguish was years ago when he had been told his parents had died in an unfortunate accident.
His heart couldn’t take this much torture, it was hell on his emotions. His friends all told him to leave it and move on, but how could he? He thought that Yunho loved him, but he guesses it was all a sham.
Jaejoong got up from the floor and ran over to their, no, his bedroom. Grabbing for a box of extra-absorbent tissues, he walked over to the window. The sky had cleared up and the rain had stopped.
Looking up at the sun, there was a glint of sadness shining through the glass panel. He knew that this is what heartbreak felt like. He felt so much sorrow, how could he move on like this? Jaejoong dropped his knees to the floor and rested his hands on the window sill. He leaned his head up against the glass and breathed out.
Drawing a small heart on the self-made fog, he quickly smudged it with his hand and almost broke the glass with a slam.
Sorrow, it was all he could feel. He felt like tearing out his heart and mailing it to Yunho, so he could see just how much Jaejoong loved him.
Boarding flight seventy-eight to Los Angelus, California; gate E twenty-five, gate E twenty-five.
He looked back at the door to the airport, (this is it.) he thought. He grabbed his bags and headed to the boarding gate. Jaejoong was just about to hand his ticket to the stewardess when he felt a hand brush up against his cold shoulder.
The temperature was sixty-nine degrees and it was January, but all Jaejoong was wearing was khaki shorts, a thin long-sleeve tee, and a black beanie.
The man grabbed Jaejoong’s shoulders and turned him around. He shook Jaejoong and screamed at him not to leave. Jaejoong couldn’t hear though, when he heard the man speak Yunho’s name, he blocked it all out. He never wanted to hear that person’s name again.
“Jaejoong! Are you fucking listening to me?”
He zoned out and removed himself from the man, the passing audience of the quarrel seemed quite interested in what seemed to be a lovers’ spat. Jaejoong pushed his hand out to the man’s shoulder and gently pushed him back.
“Goodbye Changmin. I guess this will be our last meeting, won’t it? I’ll miss you.”
Jaejoong smiled and turned back around, grabbing his ticket from the stewardess, he was about to walk down the aisle to his gate. Changmin shouted his name aloud; almost the entire airport had their eyes glued on the two of them.
Jaejoong stopped and he could feel a tear coming about, but he bit his lower lip and held it in. (Weakness should not be shown), he though.
“Go tell him right now Jaejoong. Tell him this isn’t right! If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Yoochun. He’s been crying his eyes out for the last week over you two. He wants nothing more than for the two of you to be with each other again, he pains me to see him so hurt like this. And it also pains me to see you killing yourself like this. You can’t just run away and ignore this for the rest of your life!”
Changmin balled his hands up and glared at Jaejoong’s backside. It looked like as if Changmin was trying to bore a hole in his back. Changmin could feel tears forming, but he needed to be strong for Jaejoong.
Jaejoong turned around and slowly walked to Changmin, he hung his head low, (he’s probably crying), thought Changmin.
He stopped about eight inches away from Changmin and didn’t lift up his head.
“What should I do then? Tell me. Go on, tell me!”
Jaejoong lifted his head up and tears rolled down his cheeks in thin streamlines. Why did Changmin have to come? Why did he have to remind Jaejoong of all of this?
“You need to get your head straight and figure out what Yunho means to you. If you don’t then all this will have been for naught.”
(When did this boy get so mature?), thought Jaejoong as he was staring straight into Changmin’s brown eyes. Jaejoong back down at the floor as he felt Changmin put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Jaejoong, the wedding is today. If you don’t get to him in time, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I know that he loves you just as much as you love him, maybe even more.”
Changmin gave him a reassuring smile and wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s smaller frame, just a friendly gesture, but the passerbyers didn’t know that. Changmin moved back from Jaejoong and walked off a little down the venue.
“I have to go now; Yoochun might have drowned in his tears. I hope you can fix all this Jaejoong, I sincerely hope so.”
Changmin smiled and left with a wave. Jaejoong looked up at the clock in the middle of the venue; it was already six in the morning. The wedding would be starting at nine, he didn’t have much time. To make matters worse, he didn’t have a car with him, considering he came by taxi.
He ran out and tried to hail a taxi, but to no avail, there were no taxis at this hour. He let out a heavy sigh as he was just about to sit down on a nearby bench. He heard a honk and swiftly turned around, a taxi.
Jaejoong got in and told him the direction of where to go. Jaejoong was just about to ask how much it would cost, but when the man said (it’s free); Jaejoong looked at the mirror and saw the driver’s face.
“Junsu, d-“
“It’s okay Jaejoong, I’ll get you to Yunho before it starts, I promise you. I can’t let the two of you ruin each other’s lives, now can I?”
Junsu beamed and Jaejoong rested his back against the cushioned seat. He leaned his ahead against the winder pane and his head kept bumping up and down. The streets needed to be re-paved. The wedding venue was more than two hours away; would he make it in time?
It had started raining by the time Junsu had gotten five miles within the distance of the wedding hall.
Junsu stopped in front of the wedding hall, the bells had chimed and the doves were flying, was it too late?
“Okay, where’s the groom? The wedding can’t start without the groom.”
Jaejoong let out a sigh of relief as his walked across the street, stopping in the middle. He stopped right in the middle of the street, his legs refused to move. He saw Yunho, stand right at the steps of the hall. He was wearing a luxurious black tuxedo, and his hair looked absolutely magnificent. It was as if the man had an aura around him, Jaejoong had noticed it all along though. Jaejoong was being drenched in the rain, but it didn’t faze him. He was only focused on Yunho.
Jaejoong wanted to scream out Yunho’s name, he wanted to tell Yunho everything.
Yunho kept laughing with his friends when he felt a hard pat on his back; it was his bride’s father, his soon to be father-in-law. Yunho turned around to thank him for his blessings, but he was caught in between his heartache. He could feel his heart pounding and he walked out into the rain.
His friends and father-in-law were telling him to come back under the tent, he would be soaking wet, but it was too late, he was already soaking wet. Yunho kept staring in front of him, at the man in front of him, just as drenched as him. He stopped at the rim of the sidewalk.
His friends were still yelling at to come back under the tent, the wedding would be starting soon and he would need to get changed into the back-up tuxedo. But Yunho couldn’t hear any of it; all he could hear was the pitter-patter of raindrops splashing onto the pavement. All he could see was Jaejoong.
“Jaejoong…”
“I’m sorry Yunho, but I didn’t want it to end like this.”
“I didn’t want it to end up like this either.”
“Then why are you marrying her?!”
Jaejoong balled his hands up into fist and hung his head low once more. He was crying, but it was practically impossible to notice, due to the rain.
“My parents thought that if I married her, I would become the straight son that they’ve always wanted.”
“Is that why..?”
“Of course Jaejoong, I would never leave you willingly. I love you more than you could ever know.”
“Yunho...”
Yunho held his hand out for Jaejoong to grasp, but he turned his head to the side, a car was driving this way, and it didn’t look like it could see Yunho and Jaejoong, the fog was getting heavier. Yunho yelled for Jaejoong to move and Jaejoong looked at him, puzzled.
He turned his head and saw the car coming his way, it was just a couple yards away now, he was going to die, and there was no time to move. His body felt like it was stuck to the pavement, it refused to move. Yunho didn’t know what to do, the love of his life was about to die.
Yunho jumped forward and wrapped Jaejoong in his arms; he whispered one last thing in Jaejoong’s ear before all that was heard was shrieks of terror from Yunho’s friends, and the screeching of car tires.
(I’m sorry for leaving you in the first place, but now I’ll never leave you, I promise that.)
Changmin, Yoochun, and Junsu walked up the Yunho’s and Jaejoong’s casket. Yoochun was a giant mess of tears, pulling out tissues from his pockets and blowing his nose countless times. Changmin wrapped his arm around Yoochun’s shoulder and kissed him on the forehead.
Junsu and Changmin knew that even though this was a horrible tragedy, at least the two of them wouldn’t have to hide anything anymore and they could finally be happy. They gently set the roses down.
The three of them hung their heads low and left the funeral hall. The last thing seen was the picture frame of Yunho and Jaejoong on their first date.