19th Nervous Breakdown
For a while after left News, again, I actually sorta betrayed my
purpose. I left to better my focus on other aspects of life, which held
greater "importance" than online entertainment. Instead I ended up
getting a new computer game and mastering it over a period of a month.
Oh just lazying around, listening to music. I didn't really spend my
time in any way better than pointlessly posting role playing posts on a
message boards on a geek-heaven website. But somewhere in the past few
weeks that changed. I dunno when nor how, but suddenly I'm scratching
at the bottom of the barrel for a few spare moments to enjoy to myself.
I've mentioned before that I got a job. I'm working twenty hours a
week. So my shifts are either 6/6/6 hours or 6/6/8 hours, mostly on the
weekends. That leaves plenty of time for myself. But still I'm coming
in short of relaxation periods. On Monday I had to drive my sister to
the mall, pick her up, miraculously got a few moments to spend chilling
at the comic shop, and accompanied my father on an hour long
exciting trip to the world renown theme park of Home
Depot. Yesterday I took the late bus home, having stayed at school for
the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting, then mowed the lawn, plus some other
favors for my father. Today I stayed late again for a meeting of
Screenwriter's Society, then got a call to come fill in for someone at
work. Ended up spending my afternoon and evening either facing items in
one isle or finding the places all the stuff in a cart of returns and
putting them there. Tomorrow I got to stay late again to work on
posters and crap for both clubs, set them up for Club Night (when a
bunch of 8th graders come in to get a glimpse of all the High School's
clubs-- We got to explaine that the GSA is not a
union of homosexuals), go home and eat dinner, drive siblings to guitar
lessons, spend an hour at Club Night, pick up siblings and drive them
home, and I'm supposed to do something afterwards, but I forget what.
Then on Friday, after school, I will start a 24 hour shift at work with
a 10 hour break to go home and sleep (4-10 on Friday; 8-4 on Saturday).
After work on Saturday I gotta go to a concert of a friend's band at
some cafe nearby, and will probably get home around ten. I'll then have
maybe a trio of hours to do whatever, but can't go anywhere, since it's
so damn late. Why can't the ice cream place close at
eleven?>:o
I don't know what's happening on Sunday. I'm hoping to wake up at 1 PM
or so. Something tells me I'll have to go to work. Or some equivalent.
Point is,
I NEED SOME GODDAMNED FREE TIME
Honestly. The whole "make my life better" in the post-nervous breakdown
era of my life doesn't seem to be working out. The glass is only half
full, and I'm still sipping (<--- The reason why the phrase "the
glass is half full" doesn't accomplish the point it is intended to
make, with a literal sense applied to it).
Also, I came up with a theory that mathematically proves the universe
to be infinetly big. Endless. Whatever the word is. I forgot. I had the
perfect phrase just hours ago...
Oh, I should go to bed. I need to wake up a little early tomorrow to
beat my sister into the shower, and then leave for school without her.
I have the car, so I can drive to school. She's been nothing but a
bitch to me lately, so screw her. She can take the bus.
Maybe I should join EW again to escape all the work...
purpose. I left to better my focus on other aspects of life, which held
greater "importance" than online entertainment. Instead I ended up
getting a new computer game and mastering it over a period of a month.
Oh just lazying around, listening to music. I didn't really spend my
time in any way better than pointlessly posting role playing posts on a
message boards on a geek-heaven website. But somewhere in the past few
weeks that changed. I dunno when nor how, but suddenly I'm scratching
at the bottom of the barrel for a few spare moments to enjoy to myself.
I've mentioned before that I got a job. I'm working twenty hours a
week. So my shifts are either 6/6/6 hours or 6/6/8 hours, mostly on the
weekends. That leaves plenty of time for myself. But still I'm coming
in short of relaxation periods. On Monday I had to drive my sister to
the mall, pick her up, miraculously got a few moments to spend chilling
at the comic shop, and accompanied my father on an hour long
exciting trip to the world renown theme park of Home
Depot. Yesterday I took the late bus home, having stayed at school for
the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting, then mowed the lawn, plus some other
favors for my father. Today I stayed late again for a meeting of
Screenwriter's Society, then got a call to come fill in for someone at
work. Ended up spending my afternoon and evening either facing items in
one isle or finding the places all the stuff in a cart of returns and
putting them there. Tomorrow I got to stay late again to work on
posters and crap for both clubs, set them up for Club Night (when a
bunch of 8th graders come in to get a glimpse of all the High School's
clubs-- We got to explaine that the GSA is not a
union of homosexuals), go home and eat dinner, drive siblings to guitar
lessons, spend an hour at Club Night, pick up siblings and drive them
home, and I'm supposed to do something afterwards, but I forget what.
Then on Friday, after school, I will start a 24 hour shift at work with
a 10 hour break to go home and sleep (4-10 on Friday; 8-4 on Saturday).
After work on Saturday I gotta go to a concert of a friend's band at
some cafe nearby, and will probably get home around ten. I'll then have
maybe a trio of hours to do whatever, but can't go anywhere, since it's
so damn late. Why can't the ice cream place close at
eleven?>:o
I don't know what's happening on Sunday. I'm hoping to wake up at 1 PM
or so. Something tells me I'll have to go to work. Or some equivalent.
Point is,
I NEED SOME GODDAMNED FREE TIME
Honestly. The whole "make my life better" in the post-nervous breakdown
era of my life doesn't seem to be working out. The glass is only half
full, and I'm still sipping (<--- The reason why the phrase "the
glass is half full" doesn't accomplish the point it is intended to
make, with a literal sense applied to it).
Also, I came up with a theory that mathematically proves the universe
to be infinetly big. Endless. Whatever the word is. I forgot. I had the
perfect phrase just hours ago...
Oh, I should go to bed. I need to wake up a little early tomorrow to
beat my sister into the shower, and then leave for school without her.
I have the car, so I can drive to school. She's been nothing but a
bitch to me lately, so screw her. She can take the bus.
Maybe I should join EW again to escape all the work...