Reflections on the nature of being a dick
Wil Wheaton (@wilw) has asked that today July 29 be recognized as Don't Be a Dick Day in honor of his 40th birthday and in reference to what has come to be known as Wheaton's Law, which states in full, "Don't be a dick."
I'm on board with this.
But (and you knew there was going to be a "but") I have a little problem with Wil's handy dandy flow chart on how not to be a dick.
"Are you being a dick?" is not always an easy question to answer.
Sometimes it is. You don't need an advanced degree in dick recognition to know that walking up to a random woman and asking if she's pregnant is a dick move.
But sometimes context has a lot to do with whether what you're doing is being a dick or just having a conversation. And you can't always tell right off.
I was going to illustrate with a personal story, but after writing it all down, I realized it was self serving, and kind of a dick move.
In summary, someone at the grocery store behaved like a dick to me. If I weren't currently dealing with a father very slowly recovering from open heart surgery, it wouldn't have been dick like behavior. If she'd known my personal situation, she never would have behaved that way.
I think the flow chart needs another block. If the answer to "are you being a dick?" is "no" there should be another check "are you sure?" If "Yes", "Awesome." If "No", then "Don't be a dick!"
It's not enough to ask yourself if you're being a dick. Particularly when dealing with people or situation with which you are not familiar, it is very important to be absolutely sure you're not being a dick. You have to be sensitive to the cues and hints you're being provided to make sure your behavior hasn't crossed the line making you a dick.
I'm on board with this.
But (and you knew there was going to be a "but") I have a little problem with Wil's handy dandy flow chart on how not to be a dick.
"Are you being a dick?" is not always an easy question to answer.
Sometimes it is. You don't need an advanced degree in dick recognition to know that walking up to a random woman and asking if she's pregnant is a dick move.
But sometimes context has a lot to do with whether what you're doing is being a dick or just having a conversation. And you can't always tell right off.
I was going to illustrate with a personal story, but after writing it all down, I realized it was self serving, and kind of a dick move.
In summary, someone at the grocery store behaved like a dick to me. If I weren't currently dealing with a father very slowly recovering from open heart surgery, it wouldn't have been dick like behavior. If she'd known my personal situation, she never would have behaved that way.
I think the flow chart needs another block. If the answer to "are you being a dick?" is "no" there should be another check "are you sure?" If "Yes", "Awesome." If "No", then "Don't be a dick!"
It's not enough to ask yourself if you're being a dick. Particularly when dealing with people or situation with which you are not familiar, it is very important to be absolutely sure you're not being a dick. You have to be sensitive to the cues and hints you're being provided to make sure your behavior hasn't crossed the line making you a dick.