memory
memory
641w, drabble
genre: angst
rating: PG
pairing: yulsic
A/N:
Found it hidden somewhere. It's not up-to-par but I'm not gonna spend time on it because it was written a long time ago when I was a wreck~ Eh, enjoy?
Yuri clutched her phone close to her heart, as if it would do any difference to the throbbing pain it pulsated. She recalled snippets of memories she shared with her, that one person she allowed herself to let down her walls to. The walls masking her dull exterior with vibrance; her fragile emotions with unchanging grins and laughter; her scarred heart with one of gold. With gentle words and warm smiles she soothed Yuri's pain, and Yuri knew her recuperating soul was slowly being filled in with fresh and different feelings, no matter how hard she tried to avoid them.
After all, who could reject love?
She attempted to revisit one of the happy memories they had, but she suddenly found it all too hard to remember. These days, nothing seemed easy anymore. Smiling, sleeping, breathing, living; all these she struggled to get through. Her logic had ruthlessly impaled her with countless stabs of reality -- her love was controversial and difficult. The love novels boasted of, were dramatized and magnified. Nowadays, exactly how many, how little people survived with going against the society's flow, just with love? Even if the circumstances didn't kill them, it left them crippled. And thus, she silently made a decision (one which her heart opposed to violently, but she could take care of that) to put up her walls again. If she couldn't erase her feelings, she could hide them.
She knew she did right when she saw them together.
---
Jessica laughed as yet again, he warmly melted her heart with his little gestures and deeds. He had insisted to buy her food for her, and exaggerated his reasons to something involving a servant and a spoilt princess in a magnificent castle. He holds her hand, he carries her books. He picks her up from home every day, he gently pecks her on her forehead and would always watch until she was safely back in the house every night. He was everything Jessica ever dreamt of.
Yuri saw all of that. She saw that he would complete Jessica. She saw that she herself would never be the missing piece to Jessica's puzzle of life.
So, Yuri buried her pain for the sake of Jessica, she could be happy if Jessica was too. For her, Yuri would bury the mountains and the seas, and eventually, her own heart and soul and all the feelings it encompassed.
---
But, when Jessica sought her for her heartbreak, what could Yuri do? He had fallen in love with someone else, yet he could not bear to let Jessica go. Yuri silently cursed him for his selfishness, yet she knew Jessica loved him, and she shushed all the curses in her.
All she did was to gently soothe her with messages encrypted with love, but like all other cryptic messages, the recipient almost never understands and discovers what's within. As Jessica confided in Yuri about her insecurities, Yuri told her that she would always support her till the very end. And she meant it when she said end, if that meant it'd be forever.
Yuri would be Jessica's safety net when she fell, otherwise into an abyss of tears and loneliness.
Yuri would be Jessica's pillar when she needed someone to lean on.
Yuri would be Jessica's comfort when she needed a hug to assure her that everything was okay.
Yuri would be Jessica's safety buoy when she went swimming and exploring in the ocean of love, silently watching from a distance.
Yuri would. But when she wasn't needed, all she would do, was engage in an neverending battle of trying to live. She had to admit, she was barely surviving seeing Jessica in someone else's arms, but Jessica's happiness would help her scrape through all of that pain.
While eventually, after God-knows-how-long,
Jessica would merely be ...Yuri's memory.
641w, drabble
genre: angst
rating: PG
pairing: yulsic
A/N:
Found it hidden somewhere. It's not up-to-par but I'm not gonna spend time on it because it was written a long time ago when I was a wreck~ Eh, enjoy?
Yuri clutched her phone close to her heart, as if it would do any difference to the throbbing pain it pulsated. She recalled snippets of memories she shared with her, that one person she allowed herself to let down her walls to. The walls masking her dull exterior with vibrance; her fragile emotions with unchanging grins and laughter; her scarred heart with one of gold. With gentle words and warm smiles she soothed Yuri's pain, and Yuri knew her recuperating soul was slowly being filled in with fresh and different feelings, no matter how hard she tried to avoid them.
After all, who could reject love?
She attempted to revisit one of the happy memories they had, but she suddenly found it all too hard to remember. These days, nothing seemed easy anymore. Smiling, sleeping, breathing, living; all these she struggled to get through. Her logic had ruthlessly impaled her with countless stabs of reality -- her love was controversial and difficult. The love novels boasted of, were dramatized and magnified. Nowadays, exactly how many, how little people survived with going against the society's flow, just with love? Even if the circumstances didn't kill them, it left them crippled. And thus, she silently made a decision (one which her heart opposed to violently, but she could take care of that) to put up her walls again. If she couldn't erase her feelings, she could hide them.
She knew she did right when she saw them together.
---
Jessica laughed as yet again, he warmly melted her heart with his little gestures and deeds. He had insisted to buy her food for her, and exaggerated his reasons to something involving a servant and a spoilt princess in a magnificent castle. He holds her hand, he carries her books. He picks her up from home every day, he gently pecks her on her forehead and would always watch until she was safely back in the house every night. He was everything Jessica ever dreamt of.
Yuri saw all of that. She saw that he would complete Jessica. She saw that she herself would never be the missing piece to Jessica's puzzle of life.
So, Yuri buried her pain for the sake of Jessica, she could be happy if Jessica was too. For her, Yuri would bury the mountains and the seas, and eventually, her own heart and soul and all the feelings it encompassed.
---
But, when Jessica sought her for her heartbreak, what could Yuri do? He had fallen in love with someone else, yet he could not bear to let Jessica go. Yuri silently cursed him for his selfishness, yet she knew Jessica loved him, and she shushed all the curses in her.
All she did was to gently soothe her with messages encrypted with love, but like all other cryptic messages, the recipient almost never understands and discovers what's within. As Jessica confided in Yuri about her insecurities, Yuri told her that she would always support her till the very end. And she meant it when she said end, if that meant it'd be forever.
Yuri would be Jessica's safety net when she fell, otherwise into an abyss of tears and loneliness.
Yuri would be Jessica's pillar when she needed someone to lean on.
Yuri would be Jessica's comfort when she needed a hug to assure her that everything was okay.
Yuri would be Jessica's safety buoy when she went swimming and exploring in the ocean of love, silently watching from a distance.
Yuri would. But when she wasn't needed, all she would do, was engage in an neverending battle of trying to live. She had to admit, she was barely surviving seeing Jessica in someone else's arms, but Jessica's happiness would help her scrape through all of that pain.
While eventually, after God-knows-how-long,
Jessica would merely be ...Yuri's memory.