(no subject)
I am in such an amazing mood. A day off does that I guess. It was so gorgeous outside this morning. Marley is in my car outside and its nice to have someone awesome to run errands with. Taylor is sick! She is not invincable after all! But we will nurse her back to health and she will be fine and great soon enough. Today has such a great vibe about it. I think about you more and more everyday and its such a wicked thing. Yesterday we were talking about how things like this dont make sense and equations for forgetting, most of which arent true. Its easy to fix something that you have broken but almost impossible to fix something that you didnt break, or didnt break at all, but was more.. stolen, if anything. Before I had to live with guilt of mistakes but, not this time. Just a void and a missing piece and a succession of ten numbers that I cant punch. This is unfair and you know it, because I know you. More than youd like. This isnt a reach or beg, just words you already know because we are connected. We were friends. I will not go my life without hearing kindness in your voice again. I am not hurt at all. Faithful. There is something truly beautiful about being comfortable in your skin. To live and breathe and walk and know that you have a place. Uncomfort is a thing I am slowly forgetting. I am sleeping much more soundly. Last night was one of the funniest nights. Use teflon! Always bake cookies with someone you love and make sure they are the right size. Avoid small ponies at all costs and make sure that you want the baker for the baker, not just for their cookies. I know someone who was engaged and then the other party broke it off. Funny how those sorts of things work. To desire to be with someone every waking moment of your life and then change your mind. Like its something that easy. Like a change of clothes. Despite how I feel about this person it pains me to see because such big plans can leave such a void. I saw the first snow of the season Saturday night. Maybe the gate was broken so I could enjoy it. This isnt something to get over, more like get under and slip by and pretend it doesnt exist. Like if I hide and forget long enough it will just fly over me and give up. Today Marley and I will go iceskating or to a movie or something that will be thoroughly enjoyed. I ate sushi for the first time a couple weeks ago. It was amazing. Ironically, the Rock and Roll was my favorite. We might go again tonight. I dont know why I was opposed to the idea to begin with. I live in such a beautiful place. Belle is growing up very quickly. I cannot wait until the first time she says my name or the first time she really recognizes who I am. There is so much to look forward to because everything bad right now is temporary. There is very little negativity in my life. I am going to hang out with Rapunzel now.