Giving birth and the case of the guerilla warfare with dust bunnies
It's been a bit more than a month since I gave birth to my baby baby girl Shamsa (April 21). I'd like to sit here and blog about my rollercoaster emotionally-charged and physically-challenging experience in bringing this sleepy milk-driven baby with the pretty pretty eyes into this world.
But..
Not right now. I have yet to assert myself in a plane of organized thoughts so I will be able to express myself clearly than blab like a nincompoop pooping. I am excited, don't get me wrong which is a point of motivation for me.
Dealing with a lot of stuff right now...in between recovering and settling into my life of domestication and baby-focused days and nights. Now I understand why some people find child raising (especially the baby months) to be extremely overwhelming. It can be...if you let it. In my case, I detach a part of my brain when dealing with things like feeding time, diaper change, bottle sterilizing, baby laundry, bath times...I find these tasks as routine yet extremely necessary and one doesn't need to be on an emotional hyperdrive when doing such things because it can be overwhelming if you let it happen. Other areas of baby care is where one can let your emotion into play and you can now attach yourself because the other things are not always that overwhelming.
Whoa! Are you telling me that waking at two in the morning is not overwhelming? Well..it doesn't have to happen everyday. Her sleeping habits at this time are inconsistent. I prepared myself for this but she surprised me. She will sleep as long as she needs to or as short as she needs to. I have to adjust. She can sleep all day and only awake for feedings and diaper change and go back to sleep like nothing happened. I can go about my poking around the house, go online or catch some sleep for myself.
So how has things been since my last entry? It's amazing how limited human beings anticipate the future. I look at my last blog entry and I sounded so sure that I'd still be able to go back to work and things would go as scheduled for my delivery. How was I to know that only a few days after (April 20) ..I'd find myself wheeled to a cab as I hold my aching head and speed towards the hospital? No one saw that happening.
What was supposed to be another simple ultrasound check I ended up with a massive headache and I practically had my eyes closed during the entire procedure so I really have no idea how my baby looked like at that time. I threw up at the clinic's bathroom prompting worry and concern from the entire clinic staff. I had another wheelchair drive to a cab and we landed at Metropolitan Medical Center. Duston was on the phone with my doctor the whole time.
I was immediately taken to the labor room and I dodged questions from the medical staff because my headache was killing me and referred them all to Duston. My blood pressure has shot up again. I threw up again and apologized to everyone. I hate throwing up!!! I HATE! HATE! HATE!
I was asking if I could still use the bathroom but was denied and was told that they will need to hook me up with a catheter. Now, there are only two reasons why you would be hooked up with a catheter..one is because they need to monitor your urine output and two because they hate you. I have never been hooked up to a catheter in my life! I was yelling in pain and I didn't feel like myself anymore after that. It can be very, very intimidating. Your pee is not yours anymore...it belongs to them.
Just when I thought the hard part's over...they had to do an intravenous push of magnesium sulfate directly to my IV line. What is magnesium sulfate for? It's indicated for someone whose blood pressure has gone way up and this can prevent the occurrence of stroke. This IV push has to be done very slowly. Why? Because it's hot. Imagine boiling hot water being injected into your veins. Then imagine this happening for 30 minutes. I had to drag whatever out of body imaginations I had in my brain to keep myself from focusing from the pain. I even imagined I am leading a guerrilla warfare against the dust bunnies that might be lurking in the hospital's ceiling.
This boiling hot water sensation injected to me was not only administered in one hand where my IV line was but was also injected thru the muscle on my hips (left and right). But on the flip side experiencing the pain of it somehow distracted me from the ongoing massive headache I was having.
My doctor arrived and she was a sight for sore eyes. She oriented me with what are the stuff to expect and updated me what was going on with Duston. My mom had been called and has arrived as well. You must know that since I've arrived the labor room, I have thrown up twice already so whatever meal I've had previously is gone. To make matters more interesting, I was immediately put on a NPO diet (nothing per orem) meaning I am not to take anything to eat and drink for 24 hours. Cool.
They poked at my belly, monitored for contractions, checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes, given my meds, internally examined. We arrived the medical center in the afternoon and all this poking went on the entire evening. I finally managed to sleep at around 10pm with my headache finally slowing down.
I was later allowed to take a few sips of water around 2 in the morning the following day. This is where I can really thank for being a Muslim and has been used to fasting, I survived that. The few sips of water I had I just considered as a reward for patience. My mouth was dry and my lips were cracked. It didn't help when one inconsiderate doctor whined why I didn't have enough urine output. I wanted to throw the urine bag at her and yell...YOU TRY PEEING WHEN YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT OR DRINK FOR 24 HOURS AFTER THROWING UP EVERYTHING TWICE, YOU HALFWIT!!!!
Okay..
Around 8am, I was allowed to have breakfast but not until Duston has arrived. Apparently he had to go back to the apartment to get stuff because we really weren't prepared when we arrived in the hospital yesterday. At least this time, I could request for a little more than just a sip of water..they gave me half a cup this time. Duston finally showed up at lunch time. Ironically, I only wanted to drink water from a straw. The smell of food made my stomach turn and I didn't want to risk another incident of throwing up. Finally seeing my hubby since I was wheeled to the labor room the previous day was very comforting.
After lunch, I was returned to the labor room and went thru the series of being poked and taken blood pressure. The frustration and worry I felt that it wouldn't even go down to 140/90 at least. At least my headache was somehow gone except for a dull pain. Since I had no bathroom privilege, I was on strict compete bed rest. If you think that lying on your back is fun...think again. I heavily craved for a moment to sit up at least. My hips were still aching from the magnesium sulfate injection. I had another incident of throwing up. Geh!
Later in the afternoon, I was induced for labor. For awhile I was able to get some sleep and would only stir when I felt my stomach contract. I have only dilated at 1cm which is kinda lousy. Later I noticed that at each contraction I began to lose sensation in my legs. This worried me but the contraction would stop, the sensation in my legs would return. It was when not only I lost sensation in my legs and began to have difficulty breathing that I started to panic. I complained this to my doctor and apparently major decisions had to be made already.
The labor inducement was becoming an epic fail. I wasn't dilating any further. No way I would be able to survive giving birth normally. I had to undergo surgery (cesarean section) and my target time was to give birth by 9pm April 21. I was assured that the baby's lungs have already matured enough and is fine based on the latest ultrasound result.
My contractions were getting worse and they had to stop inducing labor and the next thing I knew I finally nodded to undergo surgery by 7pm. After talking with my doctor, my weeping mom was allowed to visit me. I couldn't look at her straight. I told her not to cry and will be fine. I needed her to be strong for me now. She was visibly scared for me. Next, Duston was allowed in and we hugged and he was trying to keep the tears at bay. We said our prayers and then I was wheeled to the operating room.
I was chilling like crazy. The operating room was very cold. They bended my like a nautilus. My doctor held my hands trying to comfort me as the anesthesiologist injected my spine with the anesthesia. I was anticipating pain but tried with all my self control to not chill to allow the needle to work its way successfully. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all. It was nothing compared to the magnesium sulfate I had earlier at the labor room.
As soon after the anesthesia kicked in, I was laid flat with my arms spread wide like I was on a crucifix. I was still chilling from the cold and they piled blanket and towel over my torso. A blood pressure cuff wrapped on my left arm. I was all set. All the time I was wriggling my toes. I wanted not to lose consciousness. I remember wiggling my toes and feeling that tug on my abdomen. In my mind I was "Oh wow...I'm being opened up."
I remember telling everyone in the room that I can still feel my toes. The anesthesiologist said he would inject an antibiotic and I asked if it would hurt like the magnesium sulfate...I was slurring my words and then blacked out. My last memory was staring at the clock. It was 7:15pm. Somewhere between the haze of consciousness and unconsciousness, I remember distinctly hearing my doctor saying.."IT TURNED! IT TURNED!" Hmmmm...what turned? Did my baby turn? Then I blacked out again.
I woke up again and I was feeling sensation climbing to my toes, my feet and that tugging feeling at my abdomen. I looked at the clock and it was past 7:30ish. I think I told them I could feel my feet and I was already being stitched up. I was already fully awake when I was taken to the recovery room. I was right, the thing that turned earlier was my baby. The baby no longer was head first, she turned and was leg first. Naturally undergoing surgery was the right thing to do in the first place because no way I would have still underwent normal delivery since the baby turned and went leg first. It could be because of all the stress I have gone through that the baby must have turned inside despite a cephalic presentation based on the latest ultrasound.
Being taken to the recovery room gave me the feeling that the hard part was over. No more heads looking down at me with concern like when I was taken to the OR. I didn't stay long at the recovery room. When they told me I was to be taken to my room, I felt even more at ease. My headache was totally gone. I just felt very heavy and tired all over.
It felt good to be in the room. Wow..I gave birth already. It was so good to see Duston and my mom again. I was allowed to have a soft diet and drink of water slowly. I wasn't allowed to talk or I risk getting too much air inside my stomach which wasn't a very good idea since I just had surgery.
But..
Not right now. I have yet to assert myself in a plane of organized thoughts so I will be able to express myself clearly than blab like a nincompoop pooping. I am excited, don't get me wrong which is a point of motivation for me.
Dealing with a lot of stuff right now...in between recovering and settling into my life of domestication and baby-focused days and nights. Now I understand why some people find child raising (especially the baby months) to be extremely overwhelming. It can be...if you let it. In my case, I detach a part of my brain when dealing with things like feeding time, diaper change, bottle sterilizing, baby laundry, bath times...I find these tasks as routine yet extremely necessary and one doesn't need to be on an emotional hyperdrive when doing such things because it can be overwhelming if you let it happen. Other areas of baby care is where one can let your emotion into play and you can now attach yourself because the other things are not always that overwhelming.
Whoa! Are you telling me that waking at two in the morning is not overwhelming? Well..it doesn't have to happen everyday. Her sleeping habits at this time are inconsistent. I prepared myself for this but she surprised me. She will sleep as long as she needs to or as short as she needs to. I have to adjust. She can sleep all day and only awake for feedings and diaper change and go back to sleep like nothing happened. I can go about my poking around the house, go online or catch some sleep for myself.
So how has things been since my last entry? It's amazing how limited human beings anticipate the future. I look at my last blog entry and I sounded so sure that I'd still be able to go back to work and things would go as scheduled for my delivery. How was I to know that only a few days after (April 20) ..I'd find myself wheeled to a cab as I hold my aching head and speed towards the hospital? No one saw that happening.
What was supposed to be another simple ultrasound check I ended up with a massive headache and I practically had my eyes closed during the entire procedure so I really have no idea how my baby looked like at that time. I threw up at the clinic's bathroom prompting worry and concern from the entire clinic staff. I had another wheelchair drive to a cab and we landed at Metropolitan Medical Center. Duston was on the phone with my doctor the whole time.
I was immediately taken to the labor room and I dodged questions from the medical staff because my headache was killing me and referred them all to Duston. My blood pressure has shot up again. I threw up again and apologized to everyone. I hate throwing up!!! I HATE! HATE! HATE!
I was asking if I could still use the bathroom but was denied and was told that they will need to hook me up with a catheter. Now, there are only two reasons why you would be hooked up with a catheter..one is because they need to monitor your urine output and two because they hate you. I have never been hooked up to a catheter in my life! I was yelling in pain and I didn't feel like myself anymore after that. It can be very, very intimidating. Your pee is not yours anymore...it belongs to them.
Just when I thought the hard part's over...they had to do an intravenous push of magnesium sulfate directly to my IV line. What is magnesium sulfate for? It's indicated for someone whose blood pressure has gone way up and this can prevent the occurrence of stroke. This IV push has to be done very slowly. Why? Because it's hot. Imagine boiling hot water being injected into your veins. Then imagine this happening for 30 minutes. I had to drag whatever out of body imaginations I had in my brain to keep myself from focusing from the pain. I even imagined I am leading a guerrilla warfare against the dust bunnies that might be lurking in the hospital's ceiling.
This boiling hot water sensation injected to me was not only administered in one hand where my IV line was but was also injected thru the muscle on my hips (left and right). But on the flip side experiencing the pain of it somehow distracted me from the ongoing massive headache I was having.
My doctor arrived and she was a sight for sore eyes. She oriented me with what are the stuff to expect and updated me what was going on with Duston. My mom had been called and has arrived as well. You must know that since I've arrived the labor room, I have thrown up twice already so whatever meal I've had previously is gone. To make matters more interesting, I was immediately put on a NPO diet (nothing per orem) meaning I am not to take anything to eat and drink for 24 hours. Cool.
They poked at my belly, monitored for contractions, checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes, given my meds, internally examined. We arrived the medical center in the afternoon and all this poking went on the entire evening. I finally managed to sleep at around 10pm with my headache finally slowing down.
I was later allowed to take a few sips of water around 2 in the morning the following day. This is where I can really thank for being a Muslim and has been used to fasting, I survived that. The few sips of water I had I just considered as a reward for patience. My mouth was dry and my lips were cracked. It didn't help when one inconsiderate doctor whined why I didn't have enough urine output. I wanted to throw the urine bag at her and yell...YOU TRY PEEING WHEN YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT OR DRINK FOR 24 HOURS AFTER THROWING UP EVERYTHING TWICE, YOU HALFWIT!!!!
Okay..
Around 8am, I was allowed to have breakfast but not until Duston has arrived. Apparently he had to go back to the apartment to get stuff because we really weren't prepared when we arrived in the hospital yesterday. At least this time, I could request for a little more than just a sip of water..they gave me half a cup this time. Duston finally showed up at lunch time. Ironically, I only wanted to drink water from a straw. The smell of food made my stomach turn and I didn't want to risk another incident of throwing up. Finally seeing my hubby since I was wheeled to the labor room the previous day was very comforting.
After lunch, I was returned to the labor room and went thru the series of being poked and taken blood pressure. The frustration and worry I felt that it wouldn't even go down to 140/90 at least. At least my headache was somehow gone except for a dull pain. Since I had no bathroom privilege, I was on strict compete bed rest. If you think that lying on your back is fun...think again. I heavily craved for a moment to sit up at least. My hips were still aching from the magnesium sulfate injection. I had another incident of throwing up. Geh!
Later in the afternoon, I was induced for labor. For awhile I was able to get some sleep and would only stir when I felt my stomach contract. I have only dilated at 1cm which is kinda lousy. Later I noticed that at each contraction I began to lose sensation in my legs. This worried me but the contraction would stop, the sensation in my legs would return. It was when not only I lost sensation in my legs and began to have difficulty breathing that I started to panic. I complained this to my doctor and apparently major decisions had to be made already.
The labor inducement was becoming an epic fail. I wasn't dilating any further. No way I would be able to survive giving birth normally. I had to undergo surgery (cesarean section) and my target time was to give birth by 9pm April 21. I was assured that the baby's lungs have already matured enough and is fine based on the latest ultrasound result.
My contractions were getting worse and they had to stop inducing labor and the next thing I knew I finally nodded to undergo surgery by 7pm. After talking with my doctor, my weeping mom was allowed to visit me. I couldn't look at her straight. I told her not to cry and will be fine. I needed her to be strong for me now. She was visibly scared for me. Next, Duston was allowed in and we hugged and he was trying to keep the tears at bay. We said our prayers and then I was wheeled to the operating room.
I was chilling like crazy. The operating room was very cold. They bended my like a nautilus. My doctor held my hands trying to comfort me as the anesthesiologist injected my spine with the anesthesia. I was anticipating pain but tried with all my self control to not chill to allow the needle to work its way successfully. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all. It was nothing compared to the magnesium sulfate I had earlier at the labor room.
As soon after the anesthesia kicked in, I was laid flat with my arms spread wide like I was on a crucifix. I was still chilling from the cold and they piled blanket and towel over my torso. A blood pressure cuff wrapped on my left arm. I was all set. All the time I was wriggling my toes. I wanted not to lose consciousness. I remember wiggling my toes and feeling that tug on my abdomen. In my mind I was "Oh wow...I'm being opened up."
I remember telling everyone in the room that I can still feel my toes. The anesthesiologist said he would inject an antibiotic and I asked if it would hurt like the magnesium sulfate...I was slurring my words and then blacked out. My last memory was staring at the clock. It was 7:15pm. Somewhere between the haze of consciousness and unconsciousness, I remember distinctly hearing my doctor saying.."IT TURNED! IT TURNED!" Hmmmm...what turned? Did my baby turn? Then I blacked out again.
I woke up again and I was feeling sensation climbing to my toes, my feet and that tugging feeling at my abdomen. I looked at the clock and it was past 7:30ish. I think I told them I could feel my feet and I was already being stitched up. I was already fully awake when I was taken to the recovery room. I was right, the thing that turned earlier was my baby. The baby no longer was head first, she turned and was leg first. Naturally undergoing surgery was the right thing to do in the first place because no way I would have still underwent normal delivery since the baby turned and went leg first. It could be because of all the stress I have gone through that the baby must have turned inside despite a cephalic presentation based on the latest ultrasound.
Being taken to the recovery room gave me the feeling that the hard part was over. No more heads looking down at me with concern like when I was taken to the OR. I didn't stay long at the recovery room. When they told me I was to be taken to my room, I felt even more at ease. My headache was totally gone. I just felt very heavy and tired all over.
It felt good to be in the room. Wow..I gave birth already. It was so good to see Duston and my mom again. I was allowed to have a soft diet and drink of water slowly. I wasn't allowed to talk or I risk getting too much air inside my stomach which wasn't a very good idea since I just had surgery.