(no subject)
time to update i feel
end of an era i feel, three years of strife and fun have ended, i have met some of the most awesome people i will ever meet who do not need to be named because they know who they are. i will miss you all. and the ones at home i cant wait to see you.
im scared by going back home, back to the life i tried to escape by moving to uni, going back home to struggle with my rents till i can afford to get away again. still gotta do it. im scared of never seeing lots of people again. im scared of seeing some people to rarely. im scared of going home a different person, the new person i have become isnt the person i was when i left especially after the last 10 months i have changed dramatically and the people at home dont know this new person with his new stories.
I have been on best behaviour and an arsehole, i have been a drunk poet and a sober logistic. i have been an artist musician and a failure, i have been jack of all and jack of none. i have had my heart broken and broken hearts. there are a lot of things i aint proud of but nothing i regret.
i have fixed alot of the problems i have created for myself.
i am proud to have finished.
i cant wait to show my back to exeter and i am gonna miss it whole heartedly.
i still dont understand my own head and doubt i ever will. i understand my heart even less.
i hope the people i care about stay close and i hope i stay close to them, i will miss them and dont want to be a fool and forget anything or anyone.
its wierd three years of art theory, technique education wind up in me painting a room black. i have lost faith in the art instution and regained faith in myself. bizzarely now i have finished i am more motivated to be creative than ever before. i am planning projects and works constantly. which i never did in uni, odd that huh.
but then i guess life is just one big project.
2 days in work, one external assessment, one degree show, one birthday party T-minus 13 days till im away and gone to home. never seeing some of these people ever again, people i have lived with and spent time solidly for the last three years. never doing things in places i have been to for the last three years again.
i cant wait for and i dread closure.
funny old world aint it.
J
end of an era i feel, three years of strife and fun have ended, i have met some of the most awesome people i will ever meet who do not need to be named because they know who they are. i will miss you all. and the ones at home i cant wait to see you.
im scared by going back home, back to the life i tried to escape by moving to uni, going back home to struggle with my rents till i can afford to get away again. still gotta do it. im scared of never seeing lots of people again. im scared of seeing some people to rarely. im scared of going home a different person, the new person i have become isnt the person i was when i left especially after the last 10 months i have changed dramatically and the people at home dont know this new person with his new stories.
I have been on best behaviour and an arsehole, i have been a drunk poet and a sober logistic. i have been an artist musician and a failure, i have been jack of all and jack of none. i have had my heart broken and broken hearts. there are a lot of things i aint proud of but nothing i regret.
i have fixed alot of the problems i have created for myself.
i am proud to have finished.
i cant wait to show my back to exeter and i am gonna miss it whole heartedly.
i still dont understand my own head and doubt i ever will. i understand my heart even less.
i hope the people i care about stay close and i hope i stay close to them, i will miss them and dont want to be a fool and forget anything or anyone.
its wierd three years of art theory, technique education wind up in me painting a room black. i have lost faith in the art instution and regained faith in myself. bizzarely now i have finished i am more motivated to be creative than ever before. i am planning projects and works constantly. which i never did in uni, odd that huh.
but then i guess life is just one big project.
2 days in work, one external assessment, one degree show, one birthday party T-minus 13 days till im away and gone to home. never seeing some of these people ever again, people i have lived with and spent time solidly for the last three years. never doing things in places i have been to for the last three years again.
i cant wait for and i dread closure.
funny old world aint it.
J