exhausted.
I am beyond exhausted.
Today couldnt have gone any worse and nothing redeemed it at all.
Just a few key events to summarize the day:
-the coffee spill accident. In my hurry to get to class on time I knocked over an old, full rancid half cream-half coffee container..it EXPLODES. All over the fridge, the carpet, my jeans, and I now have TP to wipe it off with and less than 15 min to haul ass to class. Needless to say my jeans will probably forever smell like ass and no matter WHAT i do to fight this damn carpet smell/stain (febreeze, oust, baking soda, spearmint soap + spray, windex multitask, dryer sheets, etc.) it wont go away. It makes me sick everytime i encounter it, and of course no one is taking the blame for having the coffee cup there in the first place (hint: i've never brought coffee in this room. ever.)...so once again i play Mr. "willing to bleed for others before myself" and buy more shit to take care of it and accept all fault and such. It is almost 5am and I still am trying to Resolve spot shot it out...not worth my time or further exhaustion. But I'll do it.
-got a 59 on my human nutrition midterm...no wait, they fucked up my score. Turns out its a 71. Not as bad, but still very weak...and the rest of my midterms are Monday/Tuesday. Not at all ready for any of them. But I'll do it.
-Nothing I tried to get accomplished went well...including trying to handle yet another possible scandalous event at the Underground. Now i'm stuck in the middle of it just because of my friendliness between warring sides. But I'll do it.
-I just got off work at 4 and will now get less than 6 hours of sleep before working at the internship/restaurant job at 1130, followed by class and Underground stuff and meetings and so forth...it never ends. But I'll do it.
-Last night I wrote an amazing entry about something I've been toying with for a little bit...nothing that would happen today, but for the long run...and it got erased thanks to a blog error. I can't rewrite it, the passion is gone. But I'll do it. Well, eventually.
Overall, I'm just having a moment of weakness from all aspects with nothing/no one to call out to for support. Right now I'd like to hear someone say that they have my back...but at the same time, I feel that its not worth it because now it's more of a pity cause because I'm asking rather than receiving it because i deserve it.
Because honestly...I probably don't.
So it's fine...i'll get through it on my own because I'll do it.
The carpet needs more tending to before collapsing to do it all over again in the morning...not just the carpet, the day I mean...and rambling will stop now.
takin it day by day,
-yohe
Today couldnt have gone any worse and nothing redeemed it at all.
Just a few key events to summarize the day:
-the coffee spill accident. In my hurry to get to class on time I knocked over an old, full rancid half cream-half coffee container..it EXPLODES. All over the fridge, the carpet, my jeans, and I now have TP to wipe it off with and less than 15 min to haul ass to class. Needless to say my jeans will probably forever smell like ass and no matter WHAT i do to fight this damn carpet smell/stain (febreeze, oust, baking soda, spearmint soap + spray, windex multitask, dryer sheets, etc.) it wont go away. It makes me sick everytime i encounter it, and of course no one is taking the blame for having the coffee cup there in the first place (hint: i've never brought coffee in this room. ever.)...so once again i play Mr. "willing to bleed for others before myself" and buy more shit to take care of it and accept all fault and such. It is almost 5am and I still am trying to Resolve spot shot it out...not worth my time or further exhaustion. But I'll do it.
-got a 59 on my human nutrition midterm...no wait, they fucked up my score. Turns out its a 71. Not as bad, but still very weak...and the rest of my midterms are Monday/Tuesday. Not at all ready for any of them. But I'll do it.
-Nothing I tried to get accomplished went well...including trying to handle yet another possible scandalous event at the Underground. Now i'm stuck in the middle of it just because of my friendliness between warring sides. But I'll do it.
-I just got off work at 4 and will now get less than 6 hours of sleep before working at the internship/restaurant job at 1130, followed by class and Underground stuff and meetings and so forth...it never ends. But I'll do it.
-Last night I wrote an amazing entry about something I've been toying with for a little bit...nothing that would happen today, but for the long run...and it got erased thanks to a blog error. I can't rewrite it, the passion is gone. But I'll do it. Well, eventually.
Overall, I'm just having a moment of weakness from all aspects with nothing/no one to call out to for support. Right now I'd like to hear someone say that they have my back...but at the same time, I feel that its not worth it because now it's more of a pity cause because I'm asking rather than receiving it because i deserve it.
Because honestly...I probably don't.
So it's fine...i'll get through it on my own because I'll do it.
The carpet needs more tending to before collapsing to do it all over again in the morning...not just the carpet, the day I mean...and rambling will stop now.
takin it day by day,
-yohe