breathe me in.
i pride myself on being independent and able to handle myself when i'm alone. but the truth is i am terrible at being alone. i need someone. even if i don't particularly enjoy their company... i like having a body there next to me. i like to feel him breathing on the back of my neck or how our legs accidently touch during the night. i can forget about the words coming out of his mouth as long as i can kiss it when he's done.
and that's bad. that i can lay in a bed with a boy who is dying to just have me... all of me... and i can't stand the sound of his voice sometimes.
but sometimes i really do like to be alone. like tonight. i came back to an empty room and i just sighed with relief. i do everything slower when i'm alone. i saunter instead of skip and i breathe instead of gasp. my breaths are deep and i can feel my lungs expand with each that i take. i sleep better alone. i always kick boys out after awhile. and i like the space. because as much as i like feeling his breath on my neck... after a certain point it feels like it sounds... someone breathing down the back of my neck. so i get nervous and i run.
i try to hide but most of the boys that i choose want answers and i can never seem to provide the right ones. i want home. i want that chicago summer breeze and the smell of wet grass and my friends. i want his hands back. i want them back in mine. just for those 17 days that i'm home. i'd let him breathe down my neck.
hell... i'd let him breathe all over me.
and that's bad. that i can lay in a bed with a boy who is dying to just have me... all of me... and i can't stand the sound of his voice sometimes.
but sometimes i really do like to be alone. like tonight. i came back to an empty room and i just sighed with relief. i do everything slower when i'm alone. i saunter instead of skip and i breathe instead of gasp. my breaths are deep and i can feel my lungs expand with each that i take. i sleep better alone. i always kick boys out after awhile. and i like the space. because as much as i like feeling his breath on my neck... after a certain point it feels like it sounds... someone breathing down the back of my neck. so i get nervous and i run.
i try to hide but most of the boys that i choose want answers and i can never seem to provide the right ones. i want home. i want that chicago summer breeze and the smell of wet grass and my friends. i want his hands back. i want them back in mine. just for those 17 days that i'm home. i'd let him breathe down my neck.
hell... i'd let him breathe all over me.