people don't seem human sometimes.
sometimes i don't think people are real. like i can't imagine them having real emotions or real issues in their lives. they are just there... kind of like the matrix. but sometimes things happen and i realize i'm not the only one with problems.
this boy is so immature, naive, scared, and innocent. so when i heard him say, "my dad is in rehab. for the second time." it floored me. my jaw might have dropped. i thought he was the goofy kid i hooked up with for a laugh sometimes... but he is a person. and he has been hurt.
my heart feels broken. and i rarely feel this way. it's that feeling where you just want to kiss someone and tell them it's alright. i wish my kisses meant something, but they are falling on confused lips. and i'm sure this explains a few things. like why he makes a joke out of everything. that he mysteriously never gets drunk or he chooses to be DD. it explains why no matter how hard i try, he doesn't take my bait.
i immediately said, "both of my parents are alcoholics. i know for sure." he seemed complacent with my answer. i couldn't ask more. i did like he does, and tried to make light of the situation. but i sat in class and wished i'd told him how cute he is and what nice teeth he has. but i just texted him and told him that i enjoyed lunch. he told me it would cost me 15 dollars. he really does crack me up.
i'm going home in 5 days. and i hope that these mistakes don't keep following me. but where there are boys.... there i am, making a complete fool of myself. but at least chris will be there for a few days... i've told him i want to marry him and i'm 75% joking. but honestly... he really is the only person i want to be my absoloute best self for. wow... just writing that made me realize how i've been doing just the oppisite.
oh, life.
this boy is so immature, naive, scared, and innocent. so when i heard him say, "my dad is in rehab. for the second time." it floored me. my jaw might have dropped. i thought he was the goofy kid i hooked up with for a laugh sometimes... but he is a person. and he has been hurt.
my heart feels broken. and i rarely feel this way. it's that feeling where you just want to kiss someone and tell them it's alright. i wish my kisses meant something, but they are falling on confused lips. and i'm sure this explains a few things. like why he makes a joke out of everything. that he mysteriously never gets drunk or he chooses to be DD. it explains why no matter how hard i try, he doesn't take my bait.
i immediately said, "both of my parents are alcoholics. i know for sure." he seemed complacent with my answer. i couldn't ask more. i did like he does, and tried to make light of the situation. but i sat in class and wished i'd told him how cute he is and what nice teeth he has. but i just texted him and told him that i enjoyed lunch. he told me it would cost me 15 dollars. he really does crack me up.
i'm going home in 5 days. and i hope that these mistakes don't keep following me. but where there are boys.... there i am, making a complete fool of myself. but at least chris will be there for a few days... i've told him i want to marry him and i'm 75% joking. but honestly... he really is the only person i want to be my absoloute best self for. wow... just writing that made me realize how i've been doing just the oppisite.
oh, life.