The Week In Review
Well I suppose part of this would have to include reviewing the previous entry, but I will forgo that. What I really want to mention is the phenomenon of others projecting their personal wishes and perspective onto individuals. Particularly, I am referencing an experience I had with church that last few weeks. A few weeks ago, I was approached and asked to be a nominee for the Vestry. I should preface this by saying I've always been confused by the expectations of nomination. To me, if someone wants to nominate an individual for anything, position, awards, etc. isn't it up to that person to explain why they feel someone deserves this accolade? I mean, what I've experienced this year is that I get nominated for something, because of how someone feels, or wants me to be and think I can handle, but then all the work after that falls to me. I don't think this is a fair system. Why should I have to work to justify someone else's hope or belief in me, should they justify it? So anyway, I get approached, and am asked, or basically told that the individual approaching me wants to nominate me for vestry. So be it, think I, I am honored. But I struggle to say no. So, I get my name on the list of people running for vestry. Hmm...this isn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. To me, I get nominated, and that's that. So now I'm supposed to fill out why I seek this position etc. Seek?! I was sought out for it! How backwards. So, I hem and haw for a while, don't fill out the sheet (ok, I admit, a bit passive agressive) and then at church the sunday of the meeting, I approach the guy who nominated me, and mention how I'd like to withdraw. At that point, all sorts of people are like "Oh no, we really want to vote for you, and you are perfect for this, and this nomination could be your calling." Which maybe it could be, if I had a say in it originally. The odd thing is, these reactions were coming from people who really DON'T know me that well, and don't realize that my "young" perspective isn't want they think it to be. I'm not going to be the go to guy to represent all 20 somethings who may or may not be going to church. I find that Marie and I both get approached more because we're young, and not necessarily to discover what we actually believe. So anyhoo, I don't get elected (thank God) but then a bunch of people decided to be disappointed for me, offering condolences and suggesting ways I could still get on the vestry...the whole time I've been trying to tell people politely that after thinking about it, I really don't want to be on the vestry, and am not even sure how I feel about my connection with the church yet. Thus, my example of people projecting their own perspective of what an individual could offer, onto that individual instead of letting the person showcase their own desired talents or motivations. The aspect that really hammers home my point, is that today I was scheduled to do my first reading in church (I've read in church all my life, but not at St. Anne's yet). I VOLUNTEERED to do reading, it's what I'm good at, and what I want to do. So, I give the reading and the psalm, and people damn near shat their pants at how good it was. I was complimented left and right, and people where saying how much they enjoyed it, how it was a relief and refreshment form the normal drudgery of reading presentation we suffer through most weeks, etc. These compliments also coming from the people who I consider know me moreso. Today's church involvement felt right, and good. Why? Because it was a self-chosen path, not a projected expectation of others to fulfill their ideal of what a young person could do for a church. I prefer to change things through my own agendas, my own approach, and on my own time. Usually the effect is more enjoyable, beneficial, and lasting. Genuine expression seems to be waning these days, while people frantically try to prove themselves to others. Hmm.. So that's been rattling in my brain for this week. In other news, I've officially declared myself sick of snow, after having begged for it for years. Don't get me wrong, I'm still thrilled that we've finally received a more traditional, and seasonally typical winter for Wisconsin, but I am dismayed by how much snow clearing I've had to do, and by how often we have hassles because of the weather. It is getting to the point where seeing sunshine, and having maybe a bit of ground showing would be OK. Variety is truly the spice of life, and that includes a little variety in the winter months. Maybe however, I simply am forgetting that it used to be this monotonous and drawn out in the past. And, I do lighten up thinking about the benefits of this winter thus far...fewer pests in summer (although I hope the bees are going strong), replenished lake and stream levels, etc. I do worry about the amount of sodium put back into the earth from the excessive street cleaning etc. Oh well. Made a really good batch of chili last night, using the crock pot, and four types of beans. We had black beans, great northern and pinto beans, and red beans. Yum. I could never recreate this batch exactly, as I can't with any batch of chili I make, but it was delicious. I'm lucky that we had a guest join us for dinner, and she particularly enjoyed the chili as well, taking some with her. I like making chili, it is one of my joys. As Marie pointed out, our colleagues at our respective schools will most likely make a comment about our chili left overs, and the possibility that we made the chili for the super bowl. Nope, we're having a bratwurst casserole tonight, and it is unrelated to the football endeavor. Will probably watch the superbowl, or at least parts of it, but I don't particularly care. It is a nice way to avoid doing work for school, but I feel pretty much on track with my prep anyway, so.... That's about it. I want to get back into writing poetry more often. I miss it. Oh. And, I highly recommend reading anything by Wendell Berry. His insight into how wrong we've become with our treatment of the earth, our reliance on economics and free market systems, etc. is spot on. I'm trying to incorporate more of my realizations stemming from Berry into lessons in class. I think we are wasting our opportunity for beneficial social revolution coming from education. We're simply accepting the status quo, or encouraging destructive habits and ideologies. We should (as Berry points out) be able to stand and make judgments, and declare when ideas or actions truly are wrong. I strongly feel that in the next 10-20 years, we will see a dramatic shift to home schooling across the board. I feel that in our country, and the world, we are on the brink of a major revolution, of course coming on the heels of a destructive shake up, break down, or relative collapse of the systems we have become too reliant on currently. I think it is inevitable, and necessary. I am sort of looking forward to it (not in a cult-ish way, or whatever). Let's start revolution where we can!