Weekend in Review
So I went to a YogaFit training this weekend. Not because I want to teach yoga, actually. In fact, one of the things I got out of this weekend is that I'm really not in a teacher headspace right now; that I'm in a student headspace. That I want to take classess, and learn.
But mostly this weekend was about listening, or not listening to my body. On Friday I had work, and had two heavy patients, the kind I refer to (mentally) as "Fatness of Catness" meaning that they are over 350 lbs, and unable to move themselves in bed. And sometime during Friday I tweaked my back moving one of my patients, so I knew that I needed to really listen to my body and be gentle with myself this weekend. Let go of competition, etc. For those of you who know Yogafit, that's a main part of their philosophy, anyway. So I did pretty good with honoring my body all through the first day, didn't push myself through the class or the workshop, but the second day was different. We split the day by discussing the Yamas and Niyamas, which are yogic observances like non-violence and contenment, and working on modifications and adjustments. The instructor asked if anyone routinely practiced wheel pose, urdhva dhanurasana, and since I routinely do practice wheel I let my ego answer yes, instead of protecting my body and just letting it pass. So here I am, practicing my most perfect beautiful wheel in the middle of the class, showing how to get into, and out of, from fish, from bridge, from a ball, from the wall. Right.
Then I go back to my mat, and we all practice it. And the girl next to me, where we are packed like sardines, wiggles, topples, and over twists my lumbar spine. Ouch. Entirely my bad. Had I let go of expectations, let go of competition, I would have been caring for my back this weekend, and would not have done so much as one wheel, let alone demo'd it, and therefore, would not now have a killer migraine, ice on my back, and have had to call in sick to work, which I hate to do.
So once again I let my pride get in the way of taking care of myself, but as I was getting in the car to drive to work (!) I decided not to do that again, and called in. Practicing my yoga is tough, it's easier to have an ego, but tougher on my body. My charge nurse wanted to know if I could just take some meds and come in in a few hours when I felt better. I had good boundaries and said, no, I needed to take care of myself so that I could come in fully well later this week. At least I got that part right.