(no subject)
Realization:
I feel threatened by other girls. I don't like it when I am not the best, or at least good at something. Its one thing if I suck in front of my friends (girls who I already know) and quite another if I suck in front of a bunch of girls I don't know. I don't know where this came from. I mean I can think of environments where I would rather screw up in front of girls (whether I know them or not) than in front of boys.
I feel threatened because I like being the only girl with guys. And I feel threatened that some of those girls are going to take my place. I will be replaced by Betty with her perfect body. I hate it and it makes me feel horrible. It starts to bring back all of the reasons why I hate myself.
I need to forget those.
I can deal with making a fool of myself at something, if my friends are in the majority. If the group is mostly my friends, I have no problem being goofy. Otherwise, count me out.
I feel threatened by other girls. I don't like it when I am not the best, or at least good at something. Its one thing if I suck in front of my friends (girls who I already know) and quite another if I suck in front of a bunch of girls I don't know. I don't know where this came from. I mean I can think of environments where I would rather screw up in front of girls (whether I know them or not) than in front of boys.
I feel threatened because I like being the only girl with guys. And I feel threatened that some of those girls are going to take my place. I will be replaced by Betty with her perfect body. I hate it and it makes me feel horrible. It starts to bring back all of the reasons why I hate myself.
I need to forget those.
I can deal with making a fool of myself at something, if my friends are in the majority. If the group is mostly my friends, I have no problem being goofy. Otherwise, count me out.