- 001; hole in your face
title; hole in your face
author; yoghurts
character / pairing; joonmyun / none
size; drabble/936 words
the burning sensation sears the back of his throat, and the smoke clings to his every orifice, smoothing itself over his tongue, down his esophagus, into his lungs, while his body accepted the poison in the form of nausea and bitterness. the feeling of having just inhaled both a forest fire and eaten a burnt shoe is compensated by the tell-tale rush to his head and the way his heart seems to beat faster than normal, both making him feel exhilarated and calm at the same time.
it's a different feeling from sex. it's a different kind of heat, one that smolders without expectations, without a need for an answer. inhale, exhale, the chemicals know what they're doing. every time he draws in the smoke, he lets it linger for a second before exhaling through his nose, eyes closing automatically. it's the feeling of being alive and dead at the same time that attracts joonmyun to smoking cigarettes, with their inconspicuous shape designed to make you look 100% cooler as well as the various labels warning him of his eventual demise. and also, they make great tools for burning someone's face.
joonmyun sucks in a last draw before turning his attention back to the photograph in front of him. the long hair with the fringe that cut through her eyes and the little mischievous half-smile still lingering on her pretty pink lips, the ones that make his heart throb still, taunt him. they speak of long nights staying up to see the moon rise, of alabaster skin glowing in the half-light, false promises that rose from her breathy little gasps and a hand that was always warm, always opened. as soon as joonmyun saw the first rays of sunlight over their relationship, she was gone as quickly as the morning dew evaporates on a hot summer morning. she was simply and utterly gone, without even a teasing glance back that could be interpreted as a glimmer of hope.
and now, joonmyun burns holes on her face.
he presses the cigarette butt into the middle of the photograph, right over the girl's heart and smiles with satisfaction as it starts to smolder and the material curls inward as if trying to protect itself from the fire. but it's useless and it spreads, starting from the empty hole where her heart used to be, running down her simple dress, up over the sides, across her stupid cupid's bow and finally blazing through her teasing eyes, now no longer looking at him, but past him - where, he doesn't know.
it's been about three months since his girlfriend departed for the erudite city of Musa. he had known long before of her dreams of fog, culture and passion she had not been able to find in the crook of joonmyun's neck or the slickness of his dick as he made love to her night after night. and it had been about three weeks since he'd started smoking, two weeks since he'd started to burn any photographs he still had of her. joonmyun knows it's childish and that he should be trying to move on, regain balance, continue work, continue life. but instead of ingesting the pellets he's supposed to deliver by the end of the month to someone across the borders, he swallows drink after drink at the regular hole in the wall located conveniently only three doors down from his apartment. he wonders about what went wrong, makes up excuses for his girlfriend, then takes them back and continues hating her as he turns to char every single memory of her.
sighing loudly, he gulps back a strong drink that he doesn't know the name of but it makes him grimace all the same as it hits the back of his throat, and finishing by grounding the cigarette into the ashtray before taking a glance around the place. he rarely did this, opting to focus on his own problems rather than to glance around at the other equally miserable-looking faces that seemed to reflect the state of the world: there was nothing left to live for.
joonmyun hacks a dry cough into his hand before taking another gulp from his drink. holding the glass against his lips, he catches an eye of something new, someone different; he doesn't belong among the regulars joonmyun has begun to be familiar. joonmyun's eyes slide over the other's body and his face heats with drunken lust and the residing anger he had felt earlier. he stands up and makes an inebriated show of swaying in place for a few seconds before stumbling his way towards the eye candy he had just spotted. he places the glass and the bottled liquor he'd carried over on the table and leans in, purring in what he thinks is a sexy husky voice but sort of just sounds like slurred syllables strung together,
"hey, you. you're a stranger in a bar. i'm a stranger in a bar. w-what do you think?"
and he winks excessively before running a hand through his black hair in what he thinks is a sensual move. he licks his lips and sips his drink. he doesn't know where his next words come from, but he blames it on being too heavily intoxicated to not recognize how it may really sound,
“wow you’re pretty. are you smart? are you like a good package? wow, let’s fuck, yeah. before i throw up, ok.”
a smile, a wink, and a second later, his coordination has successfully spilt the last of his drink over the other’s clothes. alcohol, 1 - joonmyun, 0.