smile
title: smile
rating: pg
pairing: daehyun/jongup
summary: jongup always thinks he has never seen daehyun smile. but that’s only because he hasn’t, because daehyun never smiles.
author's note: based on this fanart
“jongup...”
daehyun’s voice is muffled. always muffled. it’s that same quiet, timid little sound, like he’ll never really say what he means, never mean what he says.
“i think i stepped wrong here. can you help me?”
daehyun speaks but he doesn’t ever really say anything. it’s always the same words, over and over. only talk about the choreography. only mention the weather. only speak when spoken to. but never display feelings.
“sure.” jongup says.
daehyun blocks himself off from the world simply and easily, and all he has to do is wear that goddamn mask every day. it’s such a pain.
“thanks.” daehyun says.
jongup always thinks he has never seen daehyun smile. but that’s only because he hasn’t, because daehyun never smiles. he never shows his face. he’s always hiding away and sometimes, jongup wonders if it’s possible to hide for so long that you just disappear.
(jongup hopes daehyun won’t disappear.)
“it’s the moves at the beginning of the chorus.” daehyun explains as jongup approaches him. “ i seem to get mixed up and then i end up off beat.”
jongup wants daehyun to say something, anything, for real. just one show of emotion. he wants to know what goes through daehyun’s mind all the time. he wants just one smile.
he wants daehyun.
“that’s because you’re missing the cues,” jongup says. “first, don’t take too long when you walk back, otherwise when we go into the chorus, you’re gonna be behind.”
daehyun nods. “ok... will you watch, then, and time me?”
he starts out fine as jongup counts off, “one, two, three, four, warrior...” but then he spins too slowly, falls to the ground too late, and jongup tells him to get up. “do it again.”
jongup doesn’t really understand why he likes daehyun. maybe it’s the way daehyun works so hard and never gives up. the way sweat drips down his face and he pants with exhaustion but he keeps pushing himself because he knows he can do better. maybe it’s because he can’t ever guess what daehyun is thinking, because he wants to get inside daehyun’s head and pick apart every thought that passes through his brain.
or maybe he just likes daehyun for no reason.
“again.” jongup says, and he can see that daehyun is tired. he’s gone over the choreo nonstop more than ten times.
“one, two, three, four, warrior...” jongup’s voice echoes in the practice room. daehyun dances. forward, punch, arms out, spin, but he’s off still, and jongup imagines it’s the reverberations from his voice that unsettle the other.
jongup doesn’t notice that daehyun is too close to his feet, too close in general, and when daehyun drops to the floor, jongup trips. he falls.
jongup has fallen many times in many different ways.
he remembers falling down the stairs when he was six years old, and crying while his mom comforted him and checked to make sure he hadn’t broken any bones. he remembers trying to impress the girl he liked in fourth grade by jumping off the swing set, except he had fallen and banged his knee too hard on the ground. it was difficult pretending that hadn’t hurt. he also remembers in gym class, falling down when the biggest kid in class had decided jongup was too short to play basketball with the team. gym floors are cold and lonely.
he doesn’t remember falling for daehyun, though. he just knows that it happened, somehow, someway.
“you’re crushing my legs...” daehyun grunts, and jongup realizes he’s fallen on top of daehyun. he hurries to get up. but then he notices how close they are.
his arms are placed around daehyun’s shoulders, as if trapping the older boy beneath him, and as he lifts his lower body off of daehyun, one leg slips between daehyun’s knees. it’s so intimate that for a second, jongup forgets how to breathe.
jongup remembers when he first met daehyun. he remembers shaking hands and that little spark he’d felt, which he had ignored at first because he didn’t know he was already in love with daehyun.
“i’m jung daehyun.” the boy had said with shining eyes and raised eyebrows. but that mask. that blasted mask that covered his mouth. jongup couldn’t stop wondering after that if daehyun had been smiling that day.
“j-jongup...” daehyun says breathily and jongup shudders. he’s screaming inwardly at himself to stand up, but he just can’t.
“daehyun.” he says, surprised at the huskiness of his own voice.
“wh-what?” daehyun shifts underneath him, eyes staring wide up into his own. eyes that he wishes he could read at this moment. eyes that might tell him if this is the right thing to do.
“take off the mask.”
when did jongup start paying so much attention to daehyun? when did it become so important to him to see daehyun’s smile? he can’t put his finger on it, yet he knows that once he noticed that mask, the one thing between him and daehyun, it was all he could see.
daehyun asks yongguk about their performance that day. jongup can only hear the soft voice from behind that stupid mask. daehyun comments on an upcoming interview to youngjae and they both laugh lightly. jongup can only glare at that confounded accessory that obstructs the beautiful sound.
does daehyun smirk? does he lick his lips when he’s anxious? does he frown when something confuses him? jongup has so many questions that need to be answered.
“i-i don’t want to...” daehyun says. his face is bright red and jongup feels him raise a hand up to grip jongup’s arm. the arm that jongup hadn’t realized he is using to pull at the edge of the mask.
“please.” jongup whispers, leaning his face down closer, closer, closer, until he stops, his mouth next to daehyun’s ear. “please... just for me.”
he tugs one of the straps away and waits for daehyun to stop him. but he doesn’t. daehyun doesn’t budge. then he removes the other strap. his heart beats wildly in his chest. this is moment that he’s been waiting for.
he takes the mask slowly off.
daehyun’s face is scrunched up, his eyes shut tightly, and his lips are pursed. perfect lips. beautiful lips. jongup places a finger against those lips and traces them gently. daehyun flinches, but he opens his eyes to look up at jongup again.
jongup feels daehyun’s breath against his finger. “why do you hide away?” he says quietly. he’s leaning closer again.
daehyun swallows, and when he speaks, jongup is mesmerized by his lips. his beautiful lips. “... because i’m afraid.”
“don’t be.” and jongup kisses him.
jongup remembers his first kiss. it had been awkward, all teeth and no feeling, because neither he nor the girl he was kissing had any experience. but that’s the only kiss he can recall, and probably only because it was the first. every kiss after that is blurred in his memory and he can’t remember who he kissed or when. but he thinks the reason for that is simple. he’s never kissed someone he really loved.
and maybe that’s why kissing daehyun is so different.
daehyun tastes sweet, like jongup’s favorite strawberry candy. it reminds him of the time he thought he saw daehyun eyeing the candy when he’d brought it with him to the practice room but refused to share with the other members because he wanted it all for himself. maybe daehyun likes that strawberry candy too. jongup imagines daehyun eating the candies earlier that day while thinking of him.
daehyun kisses him back, hesitantly at first, but then it seems needy, as if he’s afraid jongup might leave at any moment. but that’s silly. of course jongup isn’t going anywhere.
jongup moves a hand down and lifts the end of daehyun’s shirt up to brush fingertips along his bare stomach, which elicits a soft moan from the back of daehyun’s throat. then he places kisses along daehyun’s jaw and down his neck before sucking tenderly on the skin.
“j-jongup, please!” daehyun whimpers, pressing a hand against the younger’s chest. “if you leave any marks, i’ll be forced to wear a turtleneck tomorrow...”
jongup chuckles. he loves how clear daehyun’s voice sounds. “you worry so much.” he says, and then he captures daehyun’s mouth with his own again.
it isn’t until later, when the two of them are finally standing again, readying to leave, that daehyun pauses. “my mask... where is it?” jongup smirks and sticks his hands in his pockets. he feels the mask snugly at the bottom of one of them.
“you won’t be needing it anymore.”
daehyun is quiet for an instant, and jongup wonders if maybe daehyun won’t give up the mask. maybe daehyun will go back to hiding away those perfect lips and muffling his perfect voice. maybe daehyun will hide for the rest of his life... jongup doesn’t want that.
but then the instant is over and jongup feels butterflies erupt in his heart as a smile, a real smile, appears on daehyun’s face. the kind of smile jongup has been waiting to see. the kind that he’s always hoped to see.
he decides that smiles suit daehyun the best.
“you’re right.” daehyun says.
rating: pg
pairing: daehyun/jongup
summary: jongup always thinks he has never seen daehyun smile. but that’s only because he hasn’t, because daehyun never smiles.
author's note: based on this fanart
“jongup...”
daehyun’s voice is muffled. always muffled. it’s that same quiet, timid little sound, like he’ll never really say what he means, never mean what he says.
“i think i stepped wrong here. can you help me?”
daehyun speaks but he doesn’t ever really say anything. it’s always the same words, over and over. only talk about the choreography. only mention the weather. only speak when spoken to. but never display feelings.
“sure.” jongup says.
daehyun blocks himself off from the world simply and easily, and all he has to do is wear that goddamn mask every day. it’s such a pain.
“thanks.” daehyun says.
jongup always thinks he has never seen daehyun smile. but that’s only because he hasn’t, because daehyun never smiles. he never shows his face. he’s always hiding away and sometimes, jongup wonders if it’s possible to hide for so long that you just disappear.
(jongup hopes daehyun won’t disappear.)
“it’s the moves at the beginning of the chorus.” daehyun explains as jongup approaches him. “ i seem to get mixed up and then i end up off beat.”
jongup wants daehyun to say something, anything, for real. just one show of emotion. he wants to know what goes through daehyun’s mind all the time. he wants just one smile.
he wants daehyun.
“that’s because you’re missing the cues,” jongup says. “first, don’t take too long when you walk back, otherwise when we go into the chorus, you’re gonna be behind.”
daehyun nods. “ok... will you watch, then, and time me?”
he starts out fine as jongup counts off, “one, two, three, four, warrior...” but then he spins too slowly, falls to the ground too late, and jongup tells him to get up. “do it again.”
jongup doesn’t really understand why he likes daehyun. maybe it’s the way daehyun works so hard and never gives up. the way sweat drips down his face and he pants with exhaustion but he keeps pushing himself because he knows he can do better. maybe it’s because he can’t ever guess what daehyun is thinking, because he wants to get inside daehyun’s head and pick apart every thought that passes through his brain.
or maybe he just likes daehyun for no reason.
“again.” jongup says, and he can see that daehyun is tired. he’s gone over the choreo nonstop more than ten times.
“one, two, three, four, warrior...” jongup’s voice echoes in the practice room. daehyun dances. forward, punch, arms out, spin, but he’s off still, and jongup imagines it’s the reverberations from his voice that unsettle the other.
jongup doesn’t notice that daehyun is too close to his feet, too close in general, and when daehyun drops to the floor, jongup trips. he falls.
jongup has fallen many times in many different ways.
he remembers falling down the stairs when he was six years old, and crying while his mom comforted him and checked to make sure he hadn’t broken any bones. he remembers trying to impress the girl he liked in fourth grade by jumping off the swing set, except he had fallen and banged his knee too hard on the ground. it was difficult pretending that hadn’t hurt. he also remembers in gym class, falling down when the biggest kid in class had decided jongup was too short to play basketball with the team. gym floors are cold and lonely.
he doesn’t remember falling for daehyun, though. he just knows that it happened, somehow, someway.
“you’re crushing my legs...” daehyun grunts, and jongup realizes he’s fallen on top of daehyun. he hurries to get up. but then he notices how close they are.
his arms are placed around daehyun’s shoulders, as if trapping the older boy beneath him, and as he lifts his lower body off of daehyun, one leg slips between daehyun’s knees. it’s so intimate that for a second, jongup forgets how to breathe.
jongup remembers when he first met daehyun. he remembers shaking hands and that little spark he’d felt, which he had ignored at first because he didn’t know he was already in love with daehyun.
“i’m jung daehyun.” the boy had said with shining eyes and raised eyebrows. but that mask. that blasted mask that covered his mouth. jongup couldn’t stop wondering after that if daehyun had been smiling that day.
“j-jongup...” daehyun says breathily and jongup shudders. he’s screaming inwardly at himself to stand up, but he just can’t.
“daehyun.” he says, surprised at the huskiness of his own voice.
“wh-what?” daehyun shifts underneath him, eyes staring wide up into his own. eyes that he wishes he could read at this moment. eyes that might tell him if this is the right thing to do.
“take off the mask.”
when did jongup start paying so much attention to daehyun? when did it become so important to him to see daehyun’s smile? he can’t put his finger on it, yet he knows that once he noticed that mask, the one thing between him and daehyun, it was all he could see.
daehyun asks yongguk about their performance that day. jongup can only hear the soft voice from behind that stupid mask. daehyun comments on an upcoming interview to youngjae and they both laugh lightly. jongup can only glare at that confounded accessory that obstructs the beautiful sound.
does daehyun smirk? does he lick his lips when he’s anxious? does he frown when something confuses him? jongup has so many questions that need to be answered.
“i-i don’t want to...” daehyun says. his face is bright red and jongup feels him raise a hand up to grip jongup’s arm. the arm that jongup hadn’t realized he is using to pull at the edge of the mask.
“please.” jongup whispers, leaning his face down closer, closer, closer, until he stops, his mouth next to daehyun’s ear. “please... just for me.”
he tugs one of the straps away and waits for daehyun to stop him. but he doesn’t. daehyun doesn’t budge. then he removes the other strap. his heart beats wildly in his chest. this is moment that he’s been waiting for.
he takes the mask slowly off.
daehyun’s face is scrunched up, his eyes shut tightly, and his lips are pursed. perfect lips. beautiful lips. jongup places a finger against those lips and traces them gently. daehyun flinches, but he opens his eyes to look up at jongup again.
jongup feels daehyun’s breath against his finger. “why do you hide away?” he says quietly. he’s leaning closer again.
daehyun swallows, and when he speaks, jongup is mesmerized by his lips. his beautiful lips. “... because i’m afraid.”
“don’t be.” and jongup kisses him.
jongup remembers his first kiss. it had been awkward, all teeth and no feeling, because neither he nor the girl he was kissing had any experience. but that’s the only kiss he can recall, and probably only because it was the first. every kiss after that is blurred in his memory and he can’t remember who he kissed or when. but he thinks the reason for that is simple. he’s never kissed someone he really loved.
and maybe that’s why kissing daehyun is so different.
daehyun tastes sweet, like jongup’s favorite strawberry candy. it reminds him of the time he thought he saw daehyun eyeing the candy when he’d brought it with him to the practice room but refused to share with the other members because he wanted it all for himself. maybe daehyun likes that strawberry candy too. jongup imagines daehyun eating the candies earlier that day while thinking of him.
daehyun kisses him back, hesitantly at first, but then it seems needy, as if he’s afraid jongup might leave at any moment. but that’s silly. of course jongup isn’t going anywhere.
jongup moves a hand down and lifts the end of daehyun’s shirt up to brush fingertips along his bare stomach, which elicits a soft moan from the back of daehyun’s throat. then he places kisses along daehyun’s jaw and down his neck before sucking tenderly on the skin.
“j-jongup, please!” daehyun whimpers, pressing a hand against the younger’s chest. “if you leave any marks, i’ll be forced to wear a turtleneck tomorrow...”
jongup chuckles. he loves how clear daehyun’s voice sounds. “you worry so much.” he says, and then he captures daehyun’s mouth with his own again.
it isn’t until later, when the two of them are finally standing again, readying to leave, that daehyun pauses. “my mask... where is it?” jongup smirks and sticks his hands in his pockets. he feels the mask snugly at the bottom of one of them.
“you won’t be needing it anymore.”
daehyun is quiet for an instant, and jongup wonders if maybe daehyun won’t give up the mask. maybe daehyun will go back to hiding away those perfect lips and muffling his perfect voice. maybe daehyun will hide for the rest of his life... jongup doesn’t want that.
but then the instant is over and jongup feels butterflies erupt in his heart as a smile, a real smile, appears on daehyun’s face. the kind of smile jongup has been waiting to see. the kind that he’s always hoped to see.
he decides that smiles suit daehyun the best.
“you’re right.” daehyun says.