(no subject)
O, my dear sweet boyfriend is so far out of town I am going to pout. And he's not going to be back until Saturday, which is going to make this the longest week since my last week of vacation. I am a little bit surprised at how things are working out, and it is making for entertaining introspection time, since I think that is the only solution to not recreating my parents relationship, because that one was seriously fuxxxed.
Some things are coming up in my mind repeatedly. The weirdest one is, "What's wrong? Nothings wrong. Something must be wrong, and I can't see it. I need to find what is wrong." This is quite bizarre I think because the assumption is that everything can't be going well. Why not? I guess most of my relationships have had things amiss. So far, I've been able to tell myself that this is stupid. I wonder what I think should be going wrong though. I guess this makes it sound like i'm obsessing over it, but I'm not. It is just the occasion neurotic pang. I've brought it up and he makes me feel ok better about it. Which is also really weird- while I've been making more of an effort to be more open and communicative about things that are going on in my head, he makes it so easy somehow.
Just when I'd entirely given up on finding a boyfriend who isn't 'kind of a jackass,' I find everything I want and much much more! And he likes me too!
Some things are coming up in my mind repeatedly. The weirdest one is, "What's wrong? Nothings wrong. Something must be wrong, and I can't see it. I need to find what is wrong." This is quite bizarre I think because the assumption is that everything can't be going well. Why not? I guess most of my relationships have had things amiss. So far, I've been able to tell myself that this is stupid. I wonder what I think should be going wrong though. I guess this makes it sound like i'm obsessing over it, but I'm not. It is just the occasion neurotic pang. I've brought it up and he makes me feel ok better about it. Which is also really weird- while I've been making more of an effort to be more open and communicative about things that are going on in my head, he makes it so easy somehow.
Just when I'd entirely given up on finding a boyfriend who isn't 'kind of a jackass,' I find everything I want and much much more! And he likes me too!