ritalout
I've been informed that I should tell the person who prescribes me the ritalins that I've felt like a complete wreck for 3 months, been constantly depressed, can't eat, can't sleep, can't eat, can't bike because I can't eat, have no energy, can't do my homework anyways, can't see the bright side of anything, that I'm no longer bubbly and over flowing with joy "What happened" (to which my response was fuck you you fucking fuckerfuckfuck, and later realized that I am a champion at taking blunt criticism and rethought the fuckfuckfuck part.) and etc etc etc. I made some notes but they're in the other room.
It isn't as thought I have not continued to tell him that I can't eat and I'm not really sleeping well, but because I "haven't lost weight" it is OK and I should continue with it. But when I can get excited about stomaching 1/4 pancake, and when eating a bagel is a large victory, it is really disconcerting: my normal metabolism allows me something like 3 eggs and meat and toast for breakfast, then a ride to school and immediately a bagel because I'm already hungry again. (This is riding at slow commuter speed too, not speed-racing.)
I'm worried that he will try to persuade me to continue taking it. Now that I'm on a name brand drug, I don't know if he has any kind of investment in my taking it. There is another non-stimulant kind that acts as an anti-depressant too, but then again, I would probably be better off "working through my shit" so to speak than shoveling it back into the closet. But for now I'm at a bit of a loss. All I know is that I don't want to take it any more.
It isn't as thought I have not continued to tell him that I can't eat and I'm not really sleeping well, but because I "haven't lost weight" it is OK and I should continue with it. But when I can get excited about stomaching 1/4 pancake, and when eating a bagel is a large victory, it is really disconcerting: my normal metabolism allows me something like 3 eggs and meat and toast for breakfast, then a ride to school and immediately a bagel because I'm already hungry again. (This is riding at slow commuter speed too, not speed-racing.)
I'm worried that he will try to persuade me to continue taking it. Now that I'm on a name brand drug, I don't know if he has any kind of investment in my taking it. There is another non-stimulant kind that acts as an anti-depressant too, but then again, I would probably be better off "working through my shit" so to speak than shoveling it back into the closet. But for now I'm at a bit of a loss. All I know is that I don't want to take it any more.