(no subject)
http://www.usfigureskating.org/Story.asp?id=44361&type=media
GOD DAMN IT, JBOO, WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO ME? WHY??????????
;_______________________;
(If I'm being honest, I was kind of expecting something like this to happen, because even he would have realized that you can't avoid total embarrassment at Worlds with only two weeks of training, but still. My heart, it is crying.
...so is my face.)
EDIT:
*sigh*
Ok, now that that's out of the way...basically, I fully admit that I really have no right to be disappointed or feel entitled to have him compete there, because I've only known who he was since Nationals this year. And it's ridiculous that I'm already feeling this much for him and his skating, because I wasn't around for the whole tortured career.
But. I like to think I've done a good job these past few weeks of really learning about where he came from and everything that he's gone through in the skating world, and it's enough to know that he's probably not coming back next season. And that realization, more than dropping out for this competition, that's what hurts. Because I wanted EVERYTHING for him. Fuck Vancouver, I wanted him to get that gold in Torino and keep going, pull a Plushenko and make it to Sochi solely on the back of his talent and determination. But mostly, I wanted him to win big so that he could shove it in the faces of everyone (especially the fucking USFSA) and tell them to suck it, because he's no less of a god damned athlete than any of them.
So yeah, it was kind of a vindication thing, but also a "omg, he wants it so much, so I want it so much for him!" thing. But lately, it's seemed more and more that he didn't actually want it that much anymore. He's been savvy enough to become famous in his own right: maybe he doesn't have the medals that Apolo or Michael Phelps have, but he is just about as widely known. He's got opportunities opening up left and right for him now, and yeah, it would be stupid for him to ignore them, because ultimately a career in figure skating will end at 30, and he's gotta have some other way to pay the bills.
I know all of that, I do, but that doesn't make the hurt any less. Because even though he says he's going to start training for next season, it's a little hard to believe anything he says right now. Especially with how vocal he's been lately about wanting season 2 of BGJW to show how he transitions into more of a normal life, and he's so excited to become a fashion student, and none of that excitement seemed to apply to his skating.
Of course, I hope he does come back with a greater understanding of the scoring system, having fixed his edges and transitions and everything else that people use to excuse the underscoring, and starts kicking ass more than ever. I want all of the naysayers to beg to be allowed to support and encourage him, and I want him to be able to blow them off like the scum they are. I would love that.
But it probably won't happen. If it does, I'll seriously repent for doubting him, but right now I'm too sad to care about that. I'm just too sad.
Whether he returns next season or not, though, I still love him so, so much, and ultimately I want for him to do whatever will make him happy, because after all the shit he's gone through he really deserves that. I just wish that he could've gotten that title he always wanted too, as well as the respect that he's deserved all along.
EDIT ONCE MORE: Oh dear, I should've known that watching BGJW would cheer me up, whether I wanted it to or not. I mean, yes, poor bb was sick, but omg! He has cute Japanese fangirls! And Jeremy really does tan in all international competitions! And Galina is a motherfucking rockstar and nobody best deny it.
Short version - awwwwwwwwww :3
Still sad, but more accepting. Would've loved for him to retire as World Champion (or at least to finish out the season), but I can't blame him. And hey, I've got Otonal on my computer now, so I can watch it over and over and over and over and over...
Sorry. I wish I hadn't found out about the current men's generation so late - this is Plushy's last hurrah, and zebra Prince Charming is already retired, and I'm sure Daisuke's done after this what with the injury, and mongoose will probably retire officially after DWTS, and it's probably close to the end for Jewbear too, and now with Johnny...I don't know, I just wish I'd been there for everything. But what can you do? Stephane'll still do tours, and Johnny had fucking better go tour Russia with Plushy (after he rides his yak), and mongoose will be mongoose, and life will go on.
And hey, Johnny's fashion line will be fierce as all get out, and as long as he keeps giving giggly interviews to people, I think I can let go of the skating, no matter how much I love it, because I love him more. So there.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, SCENE!
GOD DAMN IT, JBOO, WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO ME? WHY??????????
;_______________________;
(If I'm being honest, I was kind of expecting something like this to happen, because even he would have realized that you can't avoid total embarrassment at Worlds with only two weeks of training, but still. My heart, it is crying.
...so is my face.)
EDIT:
*sigh*
Ok, now that that's out of the way...basically, I fully admit that I really have no right to be disappointed or feel entitled to have him compete there, because I've only known who he was since Nationals this year. And it's ridiculous that I'm already feeling this much for him and his skating, because I wasn't around for the whole tortured career.
But. I like to think I've done a good job these past few weeks of really learning about where he came from and everything that he's gone through in the skating world, and it's enough to know that he's probably not coming back next season. And that realization, more than dropping out for this competition, that's what hurts. Because I wanted EVERYTHING for him. Fuck Vancouver, I wanted him to get that gold in Torino and keep going, pull a Plushenko and make it to Sochi solely on the back of his talent and determination. But mostly, I wanted him to win big so that he could shove it in the faces of everyone (especially the fucking USFSA) and tell them to suck it, because he's no less of a god damned athlete than any of them.
So yeah, it was kind of a vindication thing, but also a "omg, he wants it so much, so I want it so much for him!" thing. But lately, it's seemed more and more that he didn't actually want it that much anymore. He's been savvy enough to become famous in his own right: maybe he doesn't have the medals that Apolo or Michael Phelps have, but he is just about as widely known. He's got opportunities opening up left and right for him now, and yeah, it would be stupid for him to ignore them, because ultimately a career in figure skating will end at 30, and he's gotta have some other way to pay the bills.
I know all of that, I do, but that doesn't make the hurt any less. Because even though he says he's going to start training for next season, it's a little hard to believe anything he says right now. Especially with how vocal he's been lately about wanting season 2 of BGJW to show how he transitions into more of a normal life, and he's so excited to become a fashion student, and none of that excitement seemed to apply to his skating.
Of course, I hope he does come back with a greater understanding of the scoring system, having fixed his edges and transitions and everything else that people use to excuse the underscoring, and starts kicking ass more than ever. I want all of the naysayers to beg to be allowed to support and encourage him, and I want him to be able to blow them off like the scum they are. I would love that.
But it probably won't happen. If it does, I'll seriously repent for doubting him, but right now I'm too sad to care about that. I'm just too sad.
Whether he returns next season or not, though, I still love him so, so much, and ultimately I want for him to do whatever will make him happy, because after all the shit he's gone through he really deserves that. I just wish that he could've gotten that title he always wanted too, as well as the respect that he's deserved all along.
EDIT ONCE MORE: Oh dear, I should've known that watching BGJW would cheer me up, whether I wanted it to or not. I mean, yes, poor bb was sick, but omg! He has cute Japanese fangirls! And Jeremy really does tan in all international competitions! And Galina is a motherfucking rockstar and nobody best deny it.
Short version - awwwwwwwwww :3
Still sad, but more accepting. Would've loved for him to retire as World Champion (or at least to finish out the season), but I can't blame him. And hey, I've got Otonal on my computer now, so I can watch it over and over and over and over and over...
Sorry. I wish I hadn't found out about the current men's generation so late - this is Plushy's last hurrah, and zebra Prince Charming is already retired, and I'm sure Daisuke's done after this what with the injury, and mongoose will probably retire officially after DWTS, and it's probably close to the end for Jewbear too, and now with Johnny...I don't know, I just wish I'd been there for everything. But what can you do? Stephane'll still do tours, and Johnny had fucking better go tour Russia with Plushy (after he rides his yak), and mongoose will be mongoose, and life will go on.
And hey, Johnny's fashion line will be fierce as all get out, and as long as he keeps giving giggly interviews to people, I think I can let go of the skating, no matter how much I love it, because I love him more. So there.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, SCENE!