I'm such a fucking wimp
Oh my god, I don't even know what my problem is. Just the mere mention of financial aid stuff is starting to become a trigger for me, and I can't even think about it without getting a lump in my throat. I had to go deal with things and ask about applying for a loan just a little while ago, and it seemed like every few seconds I was blinking back tears. I only just managed to hold myself together until I got back to my room and then proceeded to the big, heaving sobs (albeit very quiet ones) for about five minutes. And then I had to call my mom to let her know how it all went, and I barely made it through that conversation without breaking down again.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK I hate money. I hate financial aid stuff. And I hate that I'm so tightly wound these days that my mom getting denied for a loan makes me want to cry, because it shouldn't. It shouldn't have that power over me. I should just realize that, ok, it's just something else that needs to be dealt with and, in the scheme of things, isn't all that bad.
But god damn it all, I'm a big weepy mess right now and I pretty much hate everything. I really am too emo for my own good.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK I hate money. I hate financial aid stuff. And I hate that I'm so tightly wound these days that my mom getting denied for a loan makes me want to cry, because it shouldn't. It shouldn't have that power over me. I should just realize that, ok, it's just something else that needs to be dealt with and, in the scheme of things, isn't all that bad.
But god damn it all, I'm a big weepy mess right now and I pretty much hate everything. I really am too emo for my own good.