for they get the better even of their blunders
Haha, ok, so I'm working on my *~slide show~* to eventually print out and put on poster board, and I pulled out my little notebook I got as a freebie for something-or-other last year to make a list of things to get at the COOP tomorrow morning (assuming they have poster boards, construction paper, and glue - fingers are duly crossed). Now, this notebook was mostly used for scrawling out things for Mastering Physics last year, but it was also my go-to paper source, so there's all sorts of things in it. The very first thing, which I'd pretty much forgotten about, was a concert at the BSO that I went to take notes on for 21M.011. The reason why I'm so amused right now is because this is a sampling of what I wrote:
"glissando under flute + brass -striking/weird
-> sounds like FFXII sandsea music"
"begins w/ LOUD percussion crash + strings"
"violin solo (hint of Brandenburg?!?)"
"happier (in a Jetson sort of way)"
"composer came out (lots of applause - he's a Boston boy)"
"organ only real exciting (not rly) thing
nvm - strings just got something"
"*mind keeps wandering*"
"and more tuning, of course"
"v. dramatic climax - thundering"
"fade out to end"
Good lord, I've clearly got a career in journalism waiting for me...
In other news, I basically had a mental breakdown today. Things were not good, and continued to be not good until they culminated in my sitting in the corner of a dark classroom and sniffling to myself. I sort of fell asleep for half an hour or so and then got up to meet my 3.016 group again. During the sort-of breakdown, which mostly consisted of my wandering around campus in a daze, having trouble breathing and trying not to burst into tears in front of people, I'd known that I'd be better if I just sat down for a while, but it still felt like this would be the time I wouldn't be ok. It was really fucking scary, and I hope to god it never happens again. I mean, I've been fairly near depression before, but I've never actually scared myself, and been conscious of the fact that I was scaring myself before. Even thinking of the jumbled mess that was my thoughts during that hour and a half is making me sad, so I'm going to stop.
tl;dr - I was a fucking mess earlier, and while I'm better now, I'm not really sure how much longer this "no, really, I'm fine" thing is gonna work on me.
If I weren't so damn busy barely getting through class, I'd spend a little time trying to fix myself. As it is, it's just gonna have to wait til Christmas. I'm just afraid I'll wind up dropping out. Argh, self-doubt sucks.
"glissando under flute + brass -striking/weird
-> sounds like FFXII sandsea music"
"begins w/ LOUD percussion crash + strings"
"violin solo (hint of Brandenburg?!?)"
"happier (in a Jetson sort of way)"
"composer came out (lots of applause - he's a Boston boy)"
"organ only real exciting (not rly) thing
nvm - strings just got something"
"*mind keeps wandering*"
"and more tuning, of course"
"v. dramatic climax - thundering"
"fade out to end"
Good lord, I've clearly got a career in journalism waiting for me...
In other news, I basically had a mental breakdown today. Things were not good, and continued to be not good until they culminated in my sitting in the corner of a dark classroom and sniffling to myself. I sort of fell asleep for half an hour or so and then got up to meet my 3.016 group again. During the sort-of breakdown, which mostly consisted of my wandering around campus in a daze, having trouble breathing and trying not to burst into tears in front of people, I'd known that I'd be better if I just sat down for a while, but it still felt like this would be the time I wouldn't be ok. It was really fucking scary, and I hope to god it never happens again. I mean, I've been fairly near depression before, but I've never actually scared myself, and been conscious of the fact that I was scaring myself before. Even thinking of the jumbled mess that was my thoughts during that hour and a half is making me sad, so I'm going to stop.
tl;dr - I was a fucking mess earlier, and while I'm better now, I'm not really sure how much longer this "no, really, I'm fine" thing is gonna work on me.
If I weren't so damn busy barely getting through class, I'd spend a little time trying to fix myself. As it is, it's just gonna have to wait til Christmas. I'm just afraid I'll wind up dropping out. Argh, self-doubt sucks.