And it started with such promise
IRL wank is so glorious. I had absolutely no idea that people here cared so gosh darn much about RingComm and the like, but there you go. EC: Slackers with Opinions! I mean, at least Bexley commits to the whole "we don't care about anything" attitude. You can't have it both ways, o beloved dorm of mine. The moral of all this is...ec-discuss? Don't ever change ♥
I need to get a 51% on physics tomorrow to pass. I really want to pass, because doing this all again would be unbearable, but. It just seems impossible. I truly have not known failure until 8.02T. I know I shouldn't give up and all that, but it all feels so hopeless, and add to that the fact that I still don't know how to study properly...well, let's just say it'll be a success if I only get to the lower-level suicidal thoughts by tonight. My only consolation is knowing that, whatever happens, I'll be on a plane heading towards home in six days, and in three days I'll be away from this place. Because as much as I love almost everything about MIT, I'm gonna need some time away from it to recover. I can only hope that I'll gain some serious clarity over the summer.
Hmm, anything else? There was an annoying party last night. Steve hosted SNL, but I couldn't really watch because people kept careening into the room, laughing and screaming and washing cake off their faces. Ricky and the original original Office was excellent, though, and Steve is just made of love. I'm in a weird place at the moment, fandom-wise, but he does still inspire that sort of gushy feeling, so at least I know I wasn't affecting my affection for him. On a related line, the boys are off next week, so at least I don't have to worry about that while I'm dealing with finals + aftermath + grandmother's house. Same deal with Lost, because even though it sucks having to wait another week, I'd rather see it at home than monopolize my grandmother's TV for two hours. And since House is tomorrow, while I'll still be here, I can watch it in peace. So at least that side of things squares up.
I tried to do a calc practice test earlier, and it just drove home the fact that I really seem to have learned nothing. I know that I know things that I didn't know before, but that's not what the tests are measuring, and it all just reinforces those old feelings of Do Not Belong Here that I've tried so very hard to banish. So I guess now I'm gonna go try to cram some stuff into my head, relearn some stuff, learn some other stuff, and not cry, because I don't have the time to be incapacitated by tears.
I'm not sure if I've ever said this before, but if ever there was a time for an IHTFP, then finals would be it. So here goes: I hate this fucking place.
Huh. That didn't make me feel better at all. Probably because this fucking place hates me too. Funny how this entry started with nothing but love, too. Finals will do that to you, I guess.
I need to get a 51% on physics tomorrow to pass. I really want to pass, because doing this all again would be unbearable, but. It just seems impossible. I truly have not known failure until 8.02T. I know I shouldn't give up and all that, but it all feels so hopeless, and add to that the fact that I still don't know how to study properly...well, let's just say it'll be a success if I only get to the lower-level suicidal thoughts by tonight. My only consolation is knowing that, whatever happens, I'll be on a plane heading towards home in six days, and in three days I'll be away from this place. Because as much as I love almost everything about MIT, I'm gonna need some time away from it to recover. I can only hope that I'll gain some serious clarity over the summer.
Hmm, anything else? There was an annoying party last night. Steve hosted SNL, but I couldn't really watch because people kept careening into the room, laughing and screaming and washing cake off their faces. Ricky and the original original Office was excellent, though, and Steve is just made of love. I'm in a weird place at the moment, fandom-wise, but he does still inspire that sort of gushy feeling, so at least I know I wasn't affecting my affection for him. On a related line, the boys are off next week, so at least I don't have to worry about that while I'm dealing with finals + aftermath + grandmother's house. Same deal with Lost, because even though it sucks having to wait another week, I'd rather see it at home than monopolize my grandmother's TV for two hours. And since House is tomorrow, while I'll still be here, I can watch it in peace. So at least that side of things squares up.
I tried to do a calc practice test earlier, and it just drove home the fact that I really seem to have learned nothing. I know that I know things that I didn't know before, but that's not what the tests are measuring, and it all just reinforces those old feelings of Do Not Belong Here that I've tried so very hard to banish. So I guess now I'm gonna go try to cram some stuff into my head, relearn some stuff, learn some other stuff, and not cry, because I don't have the time to be incapacitated by tears.
I'm not sure if I've ever said this before, but if ever there was a time for an IHTFP, then finals would be it. So here goes: I hate this fucking place.
Huh. That didn't make me feel better at all. Probably because this fucking place hates me too. Funny how this entry started with nothing but love, too. Finals will do that to you, I guess.