You're an actress and I don't identify
Arggggghhhhhhhh, this paper will never be done!!! I swear, I've got some kind of mental block about it. It's getting pretty damn ridiculous at this point. I'm in Stata escaping the Space Faces, and I'll have to go cover someone's LSC shift in about an hour, so why can't I just sit down and write this thing? Uggghhh, frustration...
How terrible (by which I mean pathetic) is it that I still feel possessive over Gackt/jrock in general? Ok, it's not actually possessiveness, more like a really uncomfortable feeling when people I know talk about him/it. It started last year when I found out Raty liked A9 and girugameshuuuuu gilgamesh. I felt really weird because here I was, finally having clawed my way out of that fandom, and then I'm faced with that and I had to just sit there and know that there were tons of things I knew completely by accident that she'd never ever find out about. Hell, I never even liked them and I was more a part of the fandom than her!
And now Sam's apparently this huge Gackt fan, but it's the same kind of situation, so when Raty starts saying something about him to Sam at her party it's just so awkward for me, because they're like "oh I know this and this" and I kind of want to scream "bitch I was there TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO and I still know more about it all than you ever will!" And that bothers me, because I want to be done with it. Like, plz to be staying out of my life now, jrock? I can't so much as read fandomsecrets without having to see how many people think Diru should disband or how Gackt's being a racist asshole now or what have you. I just want it to go away.
And then I'll do someting as simple as log into Facebook and see that Raty's written something to the effect of "lol there's lots o' Gackt on iTunes now yay Sam go go go!" and it just makes me angry, I guess is what it does. Uncomfortable and angry. I fucking lost my soul to the internet to get his fucking albums and everything else and for them it's just this shallow little music thing but it was my fucking life for two years and to see them just casually talk about it...god, I'm so messed up.
I think the point of all this is that I can't let go of things, even though I wish I could. Goddamnit. Yu-Gi-Oh! doesn't fucking haunt me like this, Gacchan! Jeez.
Ok, new subject. I don't know shit about making fanvids (well, I do know that Windows Movie Maker sucks balls), but I want to leave this here in case I ever get mad skillz and can't remember: a Jon/Steve fanvid to "The Heinrich Maneuver" would be fucking epic. Just sayin'.
Mraaaaaaahhhhhh, ok. Paper paper paper. "Im Wunderschonen Monat Mai" and all that. (Hee, I love saying that title. German = ♥) But I'll need to listen to Interpol just a few more times. They're just the perfect amount of emo for me right now.
Oh, and this whole Oprahbama thing? Really starting to annoy me. I keep listening to America (The Audiobook) and getting pissed off at how fucking right they are, and how despite the fact that everyone has known this since forever, things are still the fucking same. This country disgusts the hell out of me sometimes.
Hee hee, angry post is angry.
EDIT: Heh, speaking of fandomsecrets... numbers 4 and 8 win at just about everything. I love some good diametrically opposed secrets. Especially when they're that close together. Especially when it involves the Comedy Central boys. Oh fandom, so full of lulz.
How terrible (by which I mean pathetic) is it that I still feel possessive over Gackt/jrock in general? Ok, it's not actually possessiveness, more like a really uncomfortable feeling when people I know talk about him/it. It started last year when I found out Raty liked A9 and girugameshuuuuu gilgamesh. I felt really weird because here I was, finally having clawed my way out of that fandom, and then I'm faced with that and I had to just sit there and know that there were tons of things I knew completely by accident that she'd never ever find out about. Hell, I never even liked them and I was more a part of the fandom than her!
And now Sam's apparently this huge Gackt fan, but it's the same kind of situation, so when Raty starts saying something about him to Sam at her party it's just so awkward for me, because they're like "oh I know this and this" and I kind of want to scream "bitch I was there TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO and I still know more about it all than you ever will!" And that bothers me, because I want to be done with it. Like, plz to be staying out of my life now, jrock? I can't so much as read fandomsecrets without having to see how many people think Diru should disband or how Gackt's being a racist asshole now or what have you. I just want it to go away.
And then I'll do someting as simple as log into Facebook and see that Raty's written something to the effect of "lol there's lots o' Gackt on iTunes now yay Sam go go go!" and it just makes me angry, I guess is what it does. Uncomfortable and angry. I fucking lost my soul to the internet to get his fucking albums and everything else and for them it's just this shallow little music thing but it was my fucking life for two years and to see them just casually talk about it...god, I'm so messed up.
I think the point of all this is that I can't let go of things, even though I wish I could. Goddamnit. Yu-Gi-Oh! doesn't fucking haunt me like this, Gacchan! Jeez.
Ok, new subject. I don't know shit about making fanvids (well, I do know that Windows Movie Maker sucks balls), but I want to leave this here in case I ever get mad skillz and can't remember: a Jon/Steve fanvid to "The Heinrich Maneuver" would be fucking epic. Just sayin'.
Mraaaaaaahhhhhh, ok. Paper paper paper. "Im Wunderschonen Monat Mai" and all that. (Hee, I love saying that title. German = ♥) But I'll need to listen to Interpol just a few more times. They're just the perfect amount of emo for me right now.
Oh, and this whole Oprahbama thing? Really starting to annoy me. I keep listening to America (The Audiobook) and getting pissed off at how fucking right they are, and how despite the fact that everyone has known this since forever, things are still the fucking same. This country disgusts the hell out of me sometimes.
Hee hee, angry post is angry.
EDIT: Heh, speaking of fandomsecrets... numbers 4 and 8 win at just about everything. I love some good diametrically opposed secrets. Especially when they're that close together. Especially when it involves the Comedy Central boys. Oh fandom, so full of lulz.