gone
wow, its been a long time since i've updated, but ive been sort of grounded for not cleaning my room.
friday nights youthgroup was so awesome. Bill came back and spoke for the first time in like 2 and a half months, the band was better, and i thought, "wow maybe things will be getting back to the way they were before" so i was happy. then, right after thinking this, Bill says he's leaving! for good! i just sat there and blinked a few times and thought, am i imagining this? but it was so real and its not gonna change. i sat there, about to cry because we are losing the best youth pastor ever, and then the band played "i get down" (a really jumpy song) and then julia grabs me and pulls me up and down. so i thought id hide the fact i was crying (since it didnt seem like anyone else was) by looking all happy and hyper. but then in smallgroup, i just got so angry. i started asking so many questions and just got so mad because he was just, ditching us. then caroline yelled at me (which kindof got me more annoyed) and then gave us a lecture about how he was done his work with our youthgroup. it did make a lot of sense, but i dont think that now is a good time to leave; our youthgroup is falling apart, we're losing our intern and now we may not be able to go to Phili because we dont have enough leaders. ugh. then i went to sarahs house with her and becky and we went upstairs and sobbed (lets get emotional girls....yea yea i no). i started getting all these images of things Bill did with us: taking sarah abby jake and i to cold stone and chasing around his car, him teaching me the punching game in TN, hugging him at the hugging game, and so much more, and then i thought "its all gone". Bill's gonna move on and we'e gonna be still attatched to him. i always imagined Bill would be here for us forever, but now that hes leaving out of the blue, i just dont know how to feel or what to think. it was akward seeing him on sunday. i do feel really bad for him though, its gotta be hard. wow, i sound like he's dying. but thats sorta what it seems like, we may never see him again. "so thats how it is lord, here one day, gone the next?" and thats exactly what i feel.
i know i was never very close to him, and for all you people who were and are reading this, dont think that i ever thought i was, but still, i feel like im losing such a big part of my life. i wish i could rewind back to next summer and make Bill happier here, if that was the case, but maybe things have been happening lately to make the "break" from us easier for everyone.
friday nights youthgroup was so awesome. Bill came back and spoke for the first time in like 2 and a half months, the band was better, and i thought, "wow maybe things will be getting back to the way they were before" so i was happy. then, right after thinking this, Bill says he's leaving! for good! i just sat there and blinked a few times and thought, am i imagining this? but it was so real and its not gonna change. i sat there, about to cry because we are losing the best youth pastor ever, and then the band played "i get down" (a really jumpy song) and then julia grabs me and pulls me up and down. so i thought id hide the fact i was crying (since it didnt seem like anyone else was) by looking all happy and hyper. but then in smallgroup, i just got so angry. i started asking so many questions and just got so mad because he was just, ditching us. then caroline yelled at me (which kindof got me more annoyed) and then gave us a lecture about how he was done his work with our youthgroup. it did make a lot of sense, but i dont think that now is a good time to leave; our youthgroup is falling apart, we're losing our intern and now we may not be able to go to Phili because we dont have enough leaders. ugh. then i went to sarahs house with her and becky and we went upstairs and sobbed (lets get emotional girls....yea yea i no). i started getting all these images of things Bill did with us: taking sarah abby jake and i to cold stone and chasing around his car, him teaching me the punching game in TN, hugging him at the hugging game, and so much more, and then i thought "its all gone". Bill's gonna move on and we'e gonna be still attatched to him. i always imagined Bill would be here for us forever, but now that hes leaving out of the blue, i just dont know how to feel or what to think. it was akward seeing him on sunday. i do feel really bad for him though, its gotta be hard. wow, i sound like he's dying. but thats sorta what it seems like, we may never see him again. "so thats how it is lord, here one day, gone the next?" and thats exactly what i feel.
i know i was never very close to him, and for all you people who were and are reading this, dont think that i ever thought i was, but still, i feel like im losing such a big part of my life. i wish i could rewind back to next summer and make Bill happier here, if that was the case, but maybe things have been happening lately to make the "break" from us easier for everyone.