(no subject)
im pretty fucking clueless as to what i want in life other than happiness. I dont know what I want to / can do to achieve this happiness. I won't lie, the past couple of months ive been really down. I've been struggling with the fact that we are all alone. And im struggling with constant rejection and lack of consideration. I just ask to find one person who I feel I make a difference to. I just want some kind of appreciation for the kind of person I am and the kind of things that I do and offer to people.
As for girls, I just give so much respect and am so thoughtful and all i get is spat on. Surprisingly i have such a strong sense of self esteem that I refuse to believe that im doing anything wrong. I may not be doing what teenage girls WANT me to do (fuck with their head, be a prick, throw myself upon them and grope them) but im doing what I know is respectful. No matter what girl ive gotten involved with thus far, I find that they have more insecurities than I can count and dont have respect for themselves. Honestly, all i want is to find 1 girl that is appreciative of me and that i make a difference to. Just one girl that makes me feel like im special, because by the actions of all the people (guys specifically) around me, I am a special guy.
And I hate that these same girls say "you are so amazing blah blah" but dont want me? I KNOW that im a good guy but i dont believe most people when they tell me because they wont embrace me.
There are 2 girls out there that are probably reading this now that I know appreciate me. They are the most intelligent WOMEN i know. And I love them dearly.
I despise sluttiness more than anything. Im so sick of girls going around and fucking a bunch of guys and then getting involved with me. what the fuck is in it for me? physical pleasure? not to be explicit or crude, but i have a fucking hand, theres nothing special about that unless its shared with someone that you really do care about and someone that cares about you enough that they share something exclusively with you. I refuse to be treated like a piece of meat. That along with being talked down upon are absolute ways to make me fucking hate you.
I wrote another poem last night to let out some frustrations:
Treasures Of A Concubine Disclosed By A Blade
respect took a look into the sanctuary of a slut
took a wrong turn and was never to be seen again
the search leads on with every penetration
but it got dissinegrated by the countless fornications
each man dug so deep
only anatomy held in mind
fuck the girl
with no ambitions for this find
the effort is what she wants
because it feels good in her loins
hopes been long gone
its been taken with all these boys
then one comes around
could make it all from scratch
but the devil on your shoulder
and the emptiness in your pelvis
ache for a more shallow match
she doesnt want you in too deep
which is a feat of irony
another secret kept inside
along with acts of sexual tyranny
so heres a feat less sexual than you may like
its contents lie on the edge of my knife
if its thrusts you want
ive got some attached to a knife
straight to the face
like those facials you like
As for girls, I just give so much respect and am so thoughtful and all i get is spat on. Surprisingly i have such a strong sense of self esteem that I refuse to believe that im doing anything wrong. I may not be doing what teenage girls WANT me to do (fuck with their head, be a prick, throw myself upon them and grope them) but im doing what I know is respectful. No matter what girl ive gotten involved with thus far, I find that they have more insecurities than I can count and dont have respect for themselves. Honestly, all i want is to find 1 girl that is appreciative of me and that i make a difference to. Just one girl that makes me feel like im special, because by the actions of all the people (guys specifically) around me, I am a special guy.
And I hate that these same girls say "you are so amazing blah blah" but dont want me? I KNOW that im a good guy but i dont believe most people when they tell me because they wont embrace me.
There are 2 girls out there that are probably reading this now that I know appreciate me. They are the most intelligent WOMEN i know. And I love them dearly.
I despise sluttiness more than anything. Im so sick of girls going around and fucking a bunch of guys and then getting involved with me. what the fuck is in it for me? physical pleasure? not to be explicit or crude, but i have a fucking hand, theres nothing special about that unless its shared with someone that you really do care about and someone that cares about you enough that they share something exclusively with you. I refuse to be treated like a piece of meat. That along with being talked down upon are absolute ways to make me fucking hate you.
I wrote another poem last night to let out some frustrations:
Treasures Of A Concubine Disclosed By A Blade
respect took a look into the sanctuary of a slut
took a wrong turn and was never to be seen again
the search leads on with every penetration
but it got dissinegrated by the countless fornications
each man dug so deep
only anatomy held in mind
fuck the girl
with no ambitions for this find
the effort is what she wants
because it feels good in her loins
hopes been long gone
its been taken with all these boys
then one comes around
could make it all from scratch
but the devil on your shoulder
and the emptiness in your pelvis
ache for a more shallow match
she doesnt want you in too deep
which is a feat of irony
another secret kept inside
along with acts of sexual tyranny
so heres a feat less sexual than you may like
its contents lie on the edge of my knife
if its thrusts you want
ive got some attached to a knife
straight to the face
like those facials you like