scare about the future
wow it just hit me really really realllly hard
i have no idea what the future has in hold for me.
so to update the good news is that i was accepted to UM. yay for me!!! but i didnt get any scholarships which kind of sucks cuz i have no idea how i am going to be able to pay for it. but when i recieve the letter i was super excited because it was the first acceptance letter that i got. this made me happy because knowing that i was college material (eventhough i ve never doubt myself) was like a match that was about to light a candle to spread the light into the path i was about to take.
i know it sounds corny, but thats how i felt at that moment. just knowing that i was wanted by a college, especially UM, made me realize that future was not going to be full of obstacles.
the whole week went pretty good except for those couple of moments i experienced with Shevon when we had our small conversations that were always about "are we good enough? will we make it? does rank count? are we smart enough? and other questions that just made us both feel like crap
thankfully we would soon change those conversations shortly after its begginig
NOW for the moment that every one has been waiting for, UF
well as u can tell by my depressing title that i was not accepted to UF
there reply was that its selective process is academically rigorous and constricted by limited space availability
in others words im not good enough
I WANTED to get accepted to UF so badly :'<
i know everyone is going to say"Dont worry Bryan, you are good enough to accomplish anything in life", and others will say "maybe it wasnt meant to be"
well i know that thats true, but i just cant help feeling that way
i prayed so much to God asking him for the privalege to experience the gator life
i know that maybe He didnt put me there for a reason, but i just cant help wonder WHY?
dont get me wrong. this will not make me get mad at God and not talk to him. i know that my relationship with him is so strong, that i know He did this for a purpose
i have so many greams and goals for myself, that it hurts when im not able to accomplish them and feel that feeling of triumph at the end of the day before i put head on the pillow
so many things are running through my mind, that im just trying to be strong for myself and know that the future has so many great things for me
i also know that this is a blessing in discuise, but i just dont know what the blessing is
PS i know that i wrote like the same thing over and over again
sorry about that
PSS and congrats to all those that made it
PSSS and sorry for the format of this lj
is just that i cant think straight right now
i have no idea what the future has in hold for me.
so to update the good news is that i was accepted to UM. yay for me!!! but i didnt get any scholarships which kind of sucks cuz i have no idea how i am going to be able to pay for it. but when i recieve the letter i was super excited because it was the first acceptance letter that i got. this made me happy because knowing that i was college material (eventhough i ve never doubt myself) was like a match that was about to light a candle to spread the light into the path i was about to take.
i know it sounds corny, but thats how i felt at that moment. just knowing that i was wanted by a college, especially UM, made me realize that future was not going to be full of obstacles.
the whole week went pretty good except for those couple of moments i experienced with Shevon when we had our small conversations that were always about "are we good enough? will we make it? does rank count? are we smart enough? and other questions that just made us both feel like crap
thankfully we would soon change those conversations shortly after its begginig
NOW for the moment that every one has been waiting for, UF
well as u can tell by my depressing title that i was not accepted to UF
there reply was that its selective process is academically rigorous and constricted by limited space availability
in others words im not good enough
I WANTED to get accepted to UF so badly :'<
i know everyone is going to say"Dont worry Bryan, you are good enough to accomplish anything in life", and others will say "maybe it wasnt meant to be"
well i know that thats true, but i just cant help feeling that way
i prayed so much to God asking him for the privalege to experience the gator life
i know that maybe He didnt put me there for a reason, but i just cant help wonder WHY?
dont get me wrong. this will not make me get mad at God and not talk to him. i know that my relationship with him is so strong, that i know He did this for a purpose
i have so many greams and goals for myself, that it hurts when im not able to accomplish them and feel that feeling of triumph at the end of the day before i put head on the pillow
so many things are running through my mind, that im just trying to be strong for myself and know that the future has so many great things for me
i also know that this is a blessing in discuise, but i just dont know what the blessing is
PS i know that i wrote like the same thing over and over again
sorry about that
PSS and congrats to all those that made it
PSSS and sorry for the format of this lj
is just that i cant think straight right now