(no subject)
i'm really happy these days. and i think it's because of learning so much this summer about the way God works in my life. it's been a long time now since i've learned how to be joyful in Christ no matter what's going on in life; whether i'm happy or sad. but i think the problem has been that even though i've been joyful, it's always been sort of a cautious joy. i've seemed to be always wondering what's going to happen next. what's just around the bend that i can't see, and do i need to be preparing myself for the next rough time that's going to hit me? you know? it sort of puts limits on the happy times. i guess i've been convinced that i can't be too happy or when the sad times come i'll fall harder and it will be worse for me. but i think that is a lie. yes, there will be sad times ahead, and yes they will hurt. but that doesn't mean i can't be fully happy during the happy times and not worry about when the wave will end.
i learned from experience in my own life this summer that no matter what my plans are for myself, God is going to do what God wants to do. God will provide what i need to get through each day. and God is good. He knows my heart better than i know it myself, and He knows what is best. He knows exactly what i need and when. and i need to trust in Him for that. i know that sounds like one of those things that is so easy but so hard at the same time. and it is kind of hard to coax yourself into deciding to give up control over your life to God. i think i've been working on that for years. but the easy part comes after deciding for sure that that's what you want and deciding that you are going to trust in God no matter what. then you just wake up every morning and say "good morning, God. today is a new day, and i want to give it to you. i pray that i will honor you today in what i do and say. i trust you and i pray that i will be able to see where you are leading me today. help me to have the courage to follow you even when the places you are leading me look questionable. i know you know what's best for me."
God is a good God. He will take us to places in life that will benefit us and teach us. and He is not going to lead us out to the middle of nowhere and then just leave us stranded when things get rough. He will be there through everything. He knows what is best for each of us and He will do what is best, if we allow him to. Sometimes what is best for us hurts. and we have to trust that God is pruning us like a gardener prunes a vine, getting rid of all the sick nast, old, dead parts so that it will produce more fruit. we just have to trust Him, and learn from it, and be joyful that God loves us enough to make us better. sometimes what is best for us is not having what we think we want. that's hard too. but we have to suck it up and trust that God has something better waiting for us. and sometimes we come to those times in our lives when we are living in God's will, and what He wants for us is the same thing that we want for ourselves, and so we get what we want, and it feels like God is giving us a gift. it's indescribable!
that's where i am now. i feel like God has blessed me with more than i deserve. and before, i would have been happy...but cautious. always wondering, "ok, when is this going to end? how long do i have to enjoy this before it's over?" and i'm sort of cynical, so i don't get to fully enjoy the happiness of the time. but i'm pretty much over that. if the good things i've got going for me right now suddenly disappear, or end, or get taken away from me for whatever reason...hey, i know that God knows what is best, and i trust Him to be with me through the hard times. so i am going to fully enjoy what i have been blessed with. i think that's why i'm so happy. i've decided to trust in God fully, with my whole heart. so that's how it is now. and if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack.
i learned from experience in my own life this summer that no matter what my plans are for myself, God is going to do what God wants to do. God will provide what i need to get through each day. and God is good. He knows my heart better than i know it myself, and He knows what is best. He knows exactly what i need and when. and i need to trust in Him for that. i know that sounds like one of those things that is so easy but so hard at the same time. and it is kind of hard to coax yourself into deciding to give up control over your life to God. i think i've been working on that for years. but the easy part comes after deciding for sure that that's what you want and deciding that you are going to trust in God no matter what. then you just wake up every morning and say "good morning, God. today is a new day, and i want to give it to you. i pray that i will honor you today in what i do and say. i trust you and i pray that i will be able to see where you are leading me today. help me to have the courage to follow you even when the places you are leading me look questionable. i know you know what's best for me."
God is a good God. He will take us to places in life that will benefit us and teach us. and He is not going to lead us out to the middle of nowhere and then just leave us stranded when things get rough. He will be there through everything. He knows what is best for each of us and He will do what is best, if we allow him to. Sometimes what is best for us hurts. and we have to trust that God is pruning us like a gardener prunes a vine, getting rid of all the sick nast, old, dead parts so that it will produce more fruit. we just have to trust Him, and learn from it, and be joyful that God loves us enough to make us better. sometimes what is best for us is not having what we think we want. that's hard too. but we have to suck it up and trust that God has something better waiting for us. and sometimes we come to those times in our lives when we are living in God's will, and what He wants for us is the same thing that we want for ourselves, and so we get what we want, and it feels like God is giving us a gift. it's indescribable!
that's where i am now. i feel like God has blessed me with more than i deserve. and before, i would have been happy...but cautious. always wondering, "ok, when is this going to end? how long do i have to enjoy this before it's over?" and i'm sort of cynical, so i don't get to fully enjoy the happiness of the time. but i'm pretty much over that. if the good things i've got going for me right now suddenly disappear, or end, or get taken away from me for whatever reason...hey, i know that God knows what is best, and i trust Him to be with me through the hard times. so i am going to fully enjoy what i have been blessed with. i think that's why i'm so happy. i've decided to trust in God fully, with my whole heart. so that's how it is now. and if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack.