out of bootcamp
i graduated from airforce bootcamp, a few pounds lighter, no piercings(except for the tongue) and i'm still a fuck ass, haha. some shit will never change.
i was looking through some old shit i wrote on another site a long time ago and i wanted to put it on here.
Hey...it's me
Don’t bother looking into my eyes
I don’t’ know what you’re trying to find
But there is nothing more to see
You see, they’ve been sucked dry
Of all the truth and pride
Kind of left here to wither
And try to sustain life
The truth doesn’t set you free
Especially when you sing it to caged birds
They still remain flighty within there prison cell
You really aren’t worth all of the hell i’d have to fight.
Fight for what you believe in! Stand strong and they will fall!
If it worked like that I’d be queen of queens.
There is a time to stand down.
Fighting is a last resort.
Those of us with strong convictions often get the most hell from the world
Does it frighten you oh dear world that I am more real than you?
Does it frighten you how I am me?
Free to be me, Free to love nothing and relish in the fact that I’m a free spirit.
I am extreme
In every sense of the word
Just stick around for a while, I promise you’ll find out
I’m all or nothing.
I’m everything or nothing to you
Believe me, it’s not my choice
That’s just how things are.
I have loved a lot in my short life
And every time I do I am shredded by ambivelance
I love the idea of love, but I hate the person it makes me
It makes me dependent
It makes me soft
I’m not hard on the inside, I just don’t like being that soft.
I don’t like letting you know that you are a part of me for whatever reason.
Or that I cared.
I can’t stand to be vulnerable.
Yeah I’m hardcore
That’s what they tell me
“Hey man, Amber’s hardcore, she’s fucking cool.”
That’s the sentence used to describe me the most, oh wait
We also have “she is the most unique individual, I’ve never meet anyone like her”
I wonder what sets me apart
I’m going to find out one day
And write it in a song
And play it on the door of your house with my guitar
Electric of course
I don’t have the voice for an acoustic…I’m too hardcore for that soft shit.
When I sing you my song
You’ll realize the angel punk voice I have.
You’ll tell me I should have been a rock star.
And when I’m singing it, to you, for you, about you, and everyone else
I want you to smile at me when it is finished
I don’t want you to break down,
I believe I’ve held enough sorrow in my head for the time being.
Just smile and nod.
And reassure my words with that smile.
Let me know that you don’t care.
B/c I don’t want to be soft.
I don’t want to be soft for someone that’s never there
Hook me up to my truck battery
And jump start me for the night
It’s still really early
I’ll try not to fight
I know, I know, my self destructiveness is not attractive.
We’re all self destructive in our own ways.
I put my anger and such within, that’s my target…me.
Yours is the same.
We all have the same core feelings and reactions, we just carry them out differently
Some smile and go on
Some drown themselves I toxic waste and smoke
Some cover it up
And then you have us.
We’re the ones trying to keep to ourselves,
But other just keep pushing.
So I scream it out
I scream the answers to you.
But you don’t’ even know the question you are asking. So it doesn’t matter
Just push, keep on pushing…I won’t budge anymore.
I simply raise my lip, give a crooked smile and jump back into the pit.
Turn the music up.
I want to feel it in my veins
I want to feel it in the warmth that flows down my face
We’re all in it together.
With a grin and a “I love you baby girl” you sock it to me in the gut
Cheap shot, but I guess I deserved it
I mean hell strong convictions don’t get you well liked.
Time to end this charade
Time for me to quite bitching.
But don’t worry,
One day I’ll write you a song and sing it to you
You’ll be around to see that I don’t always fall down
And when I do, I get back up brighter than ever
Twice as bright half as long.
Being complete isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.
But hey…it’s me.
i was looking through some old shit i wrote on another site a long time ago and i wanted to put it on here.
Hey...it's me
Don’t bother looking into my eyes
I don’t’ know what you’re trying to find
But there is nothing more to see
You see, they’ve been sucked dry
Of all the truth and pride
Kind of left here to wither
And try to sustain life
The truth doesn’t set you free
Especially when you sing it to caged birds
They still remain flighty within there prison cell
You really aren’t worth all of the hell i’d have to fight.
Fight for what you believe in! Stand strong and they will fall!
If it worked like that I’d be queen of queens.
There is a time to stand down.
Fighting is a last resort.
Those of us with strong convictions often get the most hell from the world
Does it frighten you oh dear world that I am more real than you?
Does it frighten you how I am me?
Free to be me, Free to love nothing and relish in the fact that I’m a free spirit.
I am extreme
In every sense of the word
Just stick around for a while, I promise you’ll find out
I’m all or nothing.
I’m everything or nothing to you
Believe me, it’s not my choice
That’s just how things are.
I have loved a lot in my short life
And every time I do I am shredded by ambivelance
I love the idea of love, but I hate the person it makes me
It makes me dependent
It makes me soft
I’m not hard on the inside, I just don’t like being that soft.
I don’t like letting you know that you are a part of me for whatever reason.
Or that I cared.
I can’t stand to be vulnerable.
Yeah I’m hardcore
That’s what they tell me
“Hey man, Amber’s hardcore, she’s fucking cool.”
That’s the sentence used to describe me the most, oh wait
We also have “she is the most unique individual, I’ve never meet anyone like her”
I wonder what sets me apart
I’m going to find out one day
And write it in a song
And play it on the door of your house with my guitar
Electric of course
I don’t have the voice for an acoustic…I’m too hardcore for that soft shit.
When I sing you my song
You’ll realize the angel punk voice I have.
You’ll tell me I should have been a rock star.
And when I’m singing it, to you, for you, about you, and everyone else
I want you to smile at me when it is finished
I don’t want you to break down,
I believe I’ve held enough sorrow in my head for the time being.
Just smile and nod.
And reassure my words with that smile.
Let me know that you don’t care.
B/c I don’t want to be soft.
I don’t want to be soft for someone that’s never there
Hook me up to my truck battery
And jump start me for the night
It’s still really early
I’ll try not to fight
I know, I know, my self destructiveness is not attractive.
We’re all self destructive in our own ways.
I put my anger and such within, that’s my target…me.
Yours is the same.
We all have the same core feelings and reactions, we just carry them out differently
Some smile and go on
Some drown themselves I toxic waste and smoke
Some cover it up
And then you have us.
We’re the ones trying to keep to ourselves,
But other just keep pushing.
So I scream it out
I scream the answers to you.
But you don’t’ even know the question you are asking. So it doesn’t matter
Just push, keep on pushing…I won’t budge anymore.
I simply raise my lip, give a crooked smile and jump back into the pit.
Turn the music up.
I want to feel it in my veins
I want to feel it in the warmth that flows down my face
We’re all in it together.
With a grin and a “I love you baby girl” you sock it to me in the gut
Cheap shot, but I guess I deserved it
I mean hell strong convictions don’t get you well liked.
Time to end this charade
Time for me to quite bitching.
But don’t worry,
One day I’ll write you a song and sing it to you
You’ll be around to see that I don’t always fall down
And when I do, I get back up brighter than ever
Twice as bright half as long.
Being complete isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.
But hey…it’s me.