Look at me, oh my love.
i was talking to a friend of mine tonight.
she's going through something that almost everyone goes thrugh in their life. fucked up love issues. i'm not saying anymore, b/c it's nto my story to tell.
but anyways, she said "men suck"
(which i believe to be true, but she's straight, so ya know...)
and i replied with this
***altered to fit a bit better, and b/c i wnated to a***
love sucks
but it's a beating i'd gladly take any day.
one day of love to me is worth a lifetime of hurt.
just to know that you are capable of temporariyl harnessing such a thing is a great task.
love can't be tied down, it can't be molded.
it's fluid, it flows.
and when it is flowing through us we decide wether or not it lives.
once it leaves, we can build our dam. or we can pass it on gently to others.
it all resides within us.
love has passed through us all, leaving some barren wastelands.
why?
b/c they dwell on waht they can't change, and they shut themselves off.
in their greed they try to dam up whatever drops of it may be left.
you can't do that.
you have to pass all of it on.
leave nothing for yourself,
b/c that is love.
to find it, you have to give it.
give it, and fall in.
swim in it, lap it up in your mouth, and let it run all over you.
bathe in it while it's here.
b/c it's a forever changing, forever moving thing.
it moves, and changes everyone and everything it comes into contact with.
show me the good things it's taught you.
show me your sopping wet hair from the times you bathed in the river.
show me what is is about you that made it flow through you.
i know it's still there.
it hit me once too you know.
i didn't have a strong enough foundation.
and it hit me again
washed away pieces of me with it.
hit me with debri from it's past places.
it cracked me a little.
it was worth it.
i have my scars, but it was worth it to experience something so few get the chance to feel.
i have been having entirely odd dreams.
the first one freaked me out. i ended up skipping my senior prom, going to a smashing pumpkins concert and marrying the best friend i've ever had.
the second one was a series of peopel from the past, assorted peole from assorted places that i've come into contact with hanging out in Ace texas. that's a place where my father used to live with sheree. anyways, courtney love was there, and i made out with her.
the one that occured last night really freaked me out the most. i was at johnscreek. and for some od reason different people, or groups rather were being called out of class to go and audition for the talent show band. you know drums, guitar, bass, singers, etc.
well i didnt' audition, but they called me out to go and sing. and i saw a girl that i knew in the stands waiting to audition for electric guitar opening. and...i immediately flocked to her. and she as fucking beautiful. everything i thought i ever wanted, EVER, the end. and when i approached her i almost fell down b/c my knees gave out. and this beauty, this angel allowed my lips to grace her cheek. and from that moment on i knew that i would never be the same. nothing would ever be the same. everything, every move, every step i took would be to get me closer to her. i wanted to hold her, i wanted to wake up in the morning in my bed, in my nice warm bed in my room, my old room, and have her there.
this entire love unfolded within my dream. it was like miniseries. and seeing as how i slept for like 14 hours it had plenty of time to unravel.
i was at my house, my old house. in my old room, back when it was awesome with my records on the walls, and my music books checkered on the walls, liek i said back when it was my room. in my great bed god i miss my bed. i miss my pillows, my blankets, my mirrors *grins* i miss those too.
i miss my brothers. they weren't in my dream, but i miss my boys.
anyways, this love. it was liek we just lived there. in my room. for waht had to have been weeks. no one else was in the house. no one was there, not even my boys. and we stayed there, we watched movies, we ate assorted foods, and we laid together, hand in hand, arm in arm. and of course, there was a intimate escepade or two. you know, i had to get her on the pool table at my house, lol. god i swear that's a great place to have sex at.
anyways, we ended up emerging from our blissful reality free trip and grew together.
i went on to school and such for the airforce, and she soon followed me in my travels. i put the both of us through college. i went to medschool, and she did as well. as soon as my practice had made enough money i shut it down and transferred to italy. i prepared my body for childbirth (something i found odd) and she insisted on working, even though she didn't need to. then it flashed foward,we has 3 kids by birth and 4 from adoptions.
our kids ran trough the old olive fields and played while we danced on the balcony and listened to Mike Ness's song "if you leave before me" b/c, well i love that song, and want it to play at my wedding, lol.
the imagenation is a beautifully dangerous thing. it not only has the power to lift us up from the meteocraty(sp?) but it can be the down fall as well. something we tend to limit. i dont' necessarily think that an imagenation will be the death of us. but living in an alternate reality just may. but then again reality varies from person to person. what's yours?
she's going through something that almost everyone goes thrugh in their life. fucked up love issues. i'm not saying anymore, b/c it's nto my story to tell.
but anyways, she said "men suck"
(which i believe to be true, but she's straight, so ya know...)
and i replied with this
***altered to fit a bit better, and b/c i wnated to a***
love sucks
but it's a beating i'd gladly take any day.
one day of love to me is worth a lifetime of hurt.
just to know that you are capable of temporariyl harnessing such a thing is a great task.
love can't be tied down, it can't be molded.
it's fluid, it flows.
and when it is flowing through us we decide wether or not it lives.
once it leaves, we can build our dam. or we can pass it on gently to others.
it all resides within us.
love has passed through us all, leaving some barren wastelands.
why?
b/c they dwell on waht they can't change, and they shut themselves off.
in their greed they try to dam up whatever drops of it may be left.
you can't do that.
you have to pass all of it on.
leave nothing for yourself,
b/c that is love.
to find it, you have to give it.
give it, and fall in.
swim in it, lap it up in your mouth, and let it run all over you.
bathe in it while it's here.
b/c it's a forever changing, forever moving thing.
it moves, and changes everyone and everything it comes into contact with.
show me the good things it's taught you.
show me your sopping wet hair from the times you bathed in the river.
show me what is is about you that made it flow through you.
i know it's still there.
it hit me once too you know.
i didn't have a strong enough foundation.
and it hit me again
washed away pieces of me with it.
hit me with debri from it's past places.
it cracked me a little.
it was worth it.
i have my scars, but it was worth it to experience something so few get the chance to feel.
i have been having entirely odd dreams.
the first one freaked me out. i ended up skipping my senior prom, going to a smashing pumpkins concert and marrying the best friend i've ever had.
the second one was a series of peopel from the past, assorted peole from assorted places that i've come into contact with hanging out in Ace texas. that's a place where my father used to live with sheree. anyways, courtney love was there, and i made out with her.
the one that occured last night really freaked me out the most. i was at johnscreek. and for some od reason different people, or groups rather were being called out of class to go and audition for the talent show band. you know drums, guitar, bass, singers, etc.
well i didnt' audition, but they called me out to go and sing. and i saw a girl that i knew in the stands waiting to audition for electric guitar opening. and...i immediately flocked to her. and she as fucking beautiful. everything i thought i ever wanted, EVER, the end. and when i approached her i almost fell down b/c my knees gave out. and this beauty, this angel allowed my lips to grace her cheek. and from that moment on i knew that i would never be the same. nothing would ever be the same. everything, every move, every step i took would be to get me closer to her. i wanted to hold her, i wanted to wake up in the morning in my bed, in my nice warm bed in my room, my old room, and have her there.
this entire love unfolded within my dream. it was like miniseries. and seeing as how i slept for like 14 hours it had plenty of time to unravel.
i was at my house, my old house. in my old room, back when it was awesome with my records on the walls, and my music books checkered on the walls, liek i said back when it was my room. in my great bed god i miss my bed. i miss my pillows, my blankets, my mirrors *grins* i miss those too.
i miss my brothers. they weren't in my dream, but i miss my boys.
anyways, this love. it was liek we just lived there. in my room. for waht had to have been weeks. no one else was in the house. no one was there, not even my boys. and we stayed there, we watched movies, we ate assorted foods, and we laid together, hand in hand, arm in arm. and of course, there was a intimate escepade or two. you know, i had to get her on the pool table at my house, lol. god i swear that's a great place to have sex at.
anyways, we ended up emerging from our blissful reality free trip and grew together.
i went on to school and such for the airforce, and she soon followed me in my travels. i put the both of us through college. i went to medschool, and she did as well. as soon as my practice had made enough money i shut it down and transferred to italy. i prepared my body for childbirth (something i found odd) and she insisted on working, even though she didn't need to. then it flashed foward,we has 3 kids by birth and 4 from adoptions.
our kids ran trough the old olive fields and played while we danced on the balcony and listened to Mike Ness's song "if you leave before me" b/c, well i love that song, and want it to play at my wedding, lol.
the imagenation is a beautifully dangerous thing. it not only has the power to lift us up from the meteocraty(sp?) but it can be the down fall as well. something we tend to limit. i dont' necessarily think that an imagenation will be the death of us. but living in an alternate reality just may. but then again reality varies from person to person. what's yours?