If you could buy a magic potion, what would it be?
Ynez lives in a state of perpetual distress. She doesn’t want to be in Los Angeles, but she doesn’t want to go back to Rome. There’s no fit for her in one place and, she’s convinced herself, no welcome in the other.
The last time she felt this way, overwhelmed with nameless rage and self-loathing, she’d fled to Mexico and ended up nearly dying. Sometimes when she thinks about that, she wonders why she survived. More frequently than she’d ever admit, even to herself, she regrets that she did. Most of the time, though, she just wishes there were some way to reach inside her chest and rip her own heart out. Surely there must be something that can be torn from her to relieve this terrible, terrible pressure. There must be something she can do to make things work, mustn’t there?
All the time, she feels like a stranger. The home she grew up in feels empty, even though it's crammed to the rafters with family, all of them watching her, wondering what she’ll do next, who she’ll scream at or pick a fight with. Only her father is safe from her wrath, but that is only for now. Tomorrow brings its own trouble.
There’s no telling when she’ll see Darius again. She tells herself “when,” not “if,” and means it, but never entirely. There’s some dreadful disaster waiting on the horizon there, and she’d just as soon put it off as long as possible, thank you.
These days, she specializes in saying the unforgivable. It’s a rare talent. She gets lots of practice.
If only there were some way for her to feel the love other people claim they have for her, maybe everything would be different. But there isn’t, and she doesn’t, so she drinks instead.
Muse: Ynez Castillo
Fandom: Original Character
Word Count: 300ish