Is it time for this one again, already?
One of those life-lessons to remind yourself of:
When you're upset about something, and desperately feel like you must take action now!! you need to make sure to ask yourself 2 questions before actually doing anything
1) What is my Goal?
and
2) Does this stand a good chance of accomplishing that?
If you haven't answered #1 -- then there's really no way to answer #2... and you should by no means take whatever action is burning you up inside, no matter how much you think it might make you feel better. Because there's always a high probability that if you do take that action, you will not only *not* be getting closer to your goal - but you will also be creating new problems for yourself.
If you haven't figured this out by now - there it is.
Write it down somewhere and try applying it.
Bear in mind that if your goal in #1 is something short-term or immediate, it's likely not really a "Goal" so much as it is a rationalization for the action you want to take.
For example - if you're really mad at me and want me to stop doing what I'm doing, you may feel like screaming at me "Ghoddammit! Just Stop It!!!!"
But before you do...
1) What is your Goal?
To get me to quit doing whatever it is I'm doing that is making you so mad
2) Does screaming at me stand a good chance of accomplishing that?
In most cases? no... perhaps if you're trying to get me to quit walking into traffic... but if you're trying to get me to quit arguing with you? highly unlikely.
If you answered #1 with to just get out the anger building up inside of me then you were really just trying to justify the screaming... so don't be surprised later on when your real goal went unmet. You did that to yourself.
[/gratuitous pontificating]
ETA: this one isn't specific to anyone - it's a result of seeing a lot of need to post this lately... ergo - this is a general Public Service Announcement... not a hidden passive-aggressive message... that second one isn't my style, remember? *grin*
When you're upset about something, and desperately feel like you must take action now!! you need to make sure to ask yourself 2 questions before actually doing anything
1) What is my Goal?
and
2) Does this stand a good chance of accomplishing that?
If you haven't answered #1 -- then there's really no way to answer #2... and you should by no means take whatever action is burning you up inside, no matter how much you think it might make you feel better. Because there's always a high probability that if you do take that action, you will not only *not* be getting closer to your goal - but you will also be creating new problems for yourself.
If you haven't figured this out by now - there it is.
Write it down somewhere and try applying it.
Bear in mind that if your goal in #1 is something short-term or immediate, it's likely not really a "Goal" so much as it is a rationalization for the action you want to take.
For example - if you're really mad at me and want me to stop doing what I'm doing, you may feel like screaming at me "Ghoddammit! Just Stop It!!!!"
But before you do...
1) What is your Goal?
To get me to quit doing whatever it is I'm doing that is making you so mad
2) Does screaming at me stand a good chance of accomplishing that?
In most cases? no... perhaps if you're trying to get me to quit walking into traffic... but if you're trying to get me to quit arguing with you? highly unlikely.
If you answered #1 with to just get out the anger building up inside of me then you were really just trying to justify the screaming... so don't be surprised later on when your real goal went unmet. You did that to yourself.
[/gratuitous pontificating]
ETA: this one isn't specific to anyone - it's a result of seeing a lot of need to post this lately... ergo - this is a general Public Service Announcement... not a hidden passive-aggressive message... that second one isn't my style, remember? *grin*