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My birthday is next Thursday!!! OMG I am going to be 24 in a week! Why is that as you get older birthdays almost become nothing? I mean where's my cake (not that I need to eat any cake), or my birthday party? Why is that I am excited about waking up late and going to the movies? On another brighter note I will be taking my driver's exam next week! WHOO HOO....pray for me...and then the next momumental task of purchasing a car. 24 for is going to be a banner year I really think so and I have no idea why. I mean I still will not have a Valentine, nor am I my ideal weight, nor am I any less of a heathen, but I'm hopeful. I suppose that is indeed what makes anybody keep living even if they don't think they have any hope they do. Someone once said to me, "People who committ suicide, are the people who have lost all hope" and another insteresting one was "You cannot despair.'Why?'Because despair means that God cannot help, and thus no Christian can despair." The definition of despair is literally:the loss of all hope. Logically though it makes sense because if I lost hope then what would be the point. Thus, as ever I am hopeful, but even more then that, because I think that I am hopeful by default, so perhaps this year I am joyous if for no other reason then that the Sun still shines or that babies still giggle or that my friends are as ever wonderful and brillant or that I my mother is still the same, or just because I realize that life if done properly is a vivid and intense experience. Tears, vomit, laughter, smiles, and everything else.